Making You Feel Like A Dinosaur

, , , , | Working | March 1, 2018

(I’m 30 and I work at a major online retailer. One evening the Internet goes down for the entire building, which means everything shuts down. We’ve all got a break while it’s being fixed. I’m talking to a cute coworker. Movies come up.)

Coworker: “I was watching one of my favorite movies with my mom a couple days ago and I just saw it in the bins! But now I can’t remember the name! It’s escaped me!”

Me: “What kind of movie?”

Coworker: “You know, one of those really old Disney movies.”

Me: “What, like Black Cauldron?”

Coworker: *gives me a look like “Of course not that one.”* “No, it’s the one with dinosaurs! You know, the really old one.”

Me: “I don’t think The Land Before Time is Disney, and I know We’re Back isn’t. I can’t think of a Disney dinosaur movie.”

Coworker: “You know, it’s 3D and has those little furry creatures?”

Me:Ice Age?”

Coworker: “No! I used to watch it when I was two with my mom. It came out the year I was born.” *long pause because I’m out of ideas*Dinosaur! That’s right! It’s just called Dinosaur! I love that old movie.”

(She’s 18! I thought she was, like, 24! That movie came out when I was in middle school. “Old movie,” indeed. I feel old now. And a little creepy for thinking she was cute.)

Unfiltered Story #106373

, | Unfiltered | March 1, 2018

(I work as an assistant manager at one of those small Starbucks stands you see inside ‘Super’ Targets. I work 5/7 days a week and am pretty familiar with all of our regular customers. It is a busy Saturday and a slightly pudgy Woman reaches the front of our line.)
Customer: “Can I get a slice of Marble Pound Cake?”
(The Marble Pound cake is a seasonal pastry item at most Starbucks, but us being only a small stand inside a Grocery Store, we rarely ever received any season food items)
Me: “I’m sorry Ma’am, but we do not carry the Marble Pound Cake at this location, Can I interest you in something else?”
(The Customer huffs at me impatiently and stares at me up and down.)
Customer: “I have came to this location everyday for the past 2 weeks and tried to order the Marble Pound cake! You should have some in stock knowing I was coming!”
(It should be noted that this is my first time seeing this woman in our store.)
Me: “Again I am sorry about that Ma’am, If you really wish for a Marble Pound cake, I can assure you the Starbucks in the Mall has them!”
(She huffs again and storms off, making sure she lets all the customers in line behind her know about our obviously terrible customer service. She literally wanted us to order Marble Pound cake, which we can only order in a minimum box of 50 loafs, just so she can order a single loaf every other day, When there is another retail Starbucks location in the mall directly across the street.)

A Sign That You Should Have Called In Sick Today

, , , , | Working | February 28, 2018

(One of the women’s restrooms at my work is closed for cleaning. There’s a sign hanging in the middle of the doorframe saying it is closed.)

Coworker: *walks up to door, looks at sign, and ducks under it to walk in*

Me: “Are you f****** serious?”

A Different Kind Of Lip-Service

, , , , , , | Related | February 25, 2018

(My brother-in-law is over to play fighting games with my husband, and we are all clearing the coffee table so they can have it to put their fight sticks on. My brother-in law picks up my lip balm that was on the table.)

Brother-In-Law: “Is this lip balm from your gynecologist?

Me: “Yeah, they just have a bunch of them in a basket when you check out.”

Husband: “Isn’t that a little weird?”

Me: “No! They want you to take care of both sets of lips!”

Brother-In-Law & Husband: *horrified looks and awkward laughs*


Unfiltered Story #106346

, | Unfiltered | February 25, 2018

(I work night shift which tends to draw in the stranger customers, but during my shift we start serving breakfast as well as our normal items. Some customers think they can come and order breakfast 10-20 minutes before. This is one of those people.)
*in drive-thru, currently 10 minutes before we start serving breakfast*
Me: “Hello! What can I get for you today?”
Customer: “Can I get (breakfast item)?”
Me: “Sorry, sir we start serving breakfast in 10 minutes.”
Customer: “That’s okay I’ll wait.”
Me: “…we can’t place the order until breakfast starts, sir.”
(The customer then backs up and goes inside to order, thinking that will change anything.)
Customer: “Hey can I get (breakfast item)?”
Coworker: “Sorry we can’t serve breakfast yet.”
(It is now 5 minutes before we can place the order. The customer leaves the store. Then a few minutes later…)
Me: “Hello! What can I get for you today?”
Customer: “Can I get breakfast yet?!”
Me: “…yes sir what can I get you for?”
Customer: “I just went inside and they said I couldn’t get it yet!”
Me: “…”
(After he places his order he pulls up to the window)
Customer: “You guys need to figure it out!”
(Dozens of customers yell or berate us for this.)

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