Customer: “I’d like to add my son to my policy.”
Me: “Okay, what’s his full name as it appears on his license?”
Customer: “Johnathan James Kai’hoalaloai’u Johnson.”
Me: “Can I have you spell the middle name for me?”
Customer: “Which one? He has two middle names.”
Me: “Not James.”
Customer: “K-a-i-h-o, um, a-l, wait. What did I say so far?”
(It is mid-afternoon and the sun is starting to directly shine in the windows. The shades are already down but some light still shines through.)
Customer: “It is way too bright. I have very sensitive eyes. You need to do something about the sun.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but the shades are already down. Would you like to move to a different table that is away from the windows?”
Customer: “No! I want you to do something about the sun!”
Me: “Sir, I really can’t control the sun.”
Customer: “You can’t do anything? I have very sensitive eyes!”
Me: “I can move you to another table.”
Customer: “No, that won’t work. How about you just stand here while I eat and block the sun?”
This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!
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Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a pet for my daughter. I think she’d like one of those furry things. You know, a Pikachu?”
Me: *pause* “A Pikachu?”
Customer: “Yeah, you know. It looks like a hamster and a rabbit put together.”
Me: “Do you mean a chinchilla?”
Customer: “Yeah! That’s it!”
This story is part of our Hamsters Roundup!
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(We sell bananas next to the cash register with a sign fixture that reads: ‘Bananas – 90 cents!’.)
Me: “Here’s your tall coffee, sir.”
Customer: *looking at bananas* “Oh, so that’s what you call them! ‘Tropical Paradise Bars.’ I’ve been calling them bananas my whole life!”
(I see the banana sign has accidentally been flipped over to read ‘Tropical Paradise Bars – $2.25.’)
Me: “Oh, that’s the wrong sign.” *flips sign back over*
Customer: “Oh. Never mind, then.” *walks away looking disappointed*
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(I’m selling t-shirts at Comic-Con in San Diego. Two men are dressed as Star Wars characters come to my booth.)
Jedi #1: “Man, these shirts are all great. I don’t know how I’ll pick.”
Coworker: “Well, they are two for $35, so you can get any two you like.”
Jedi #2: “Is there any deal for three?”
Coworker: “Nope, just by twos.”
(Suddenly, the second Jedi activates his light-up lightsaber and speaks in an angry, menacing tone.)
Jedi #2: “How about now?!”
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