UV: Under Valued

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2010

(It is mid-afternoon and the sun is starting to directly shine in the windows. The shades are already down but some light still shines through.)

Customer: “It is way too bright. I have very sensitive eyes. You need to do something about the sun.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the shades are already down. Would you like to move to a different table that is away from the windows?”

Customer: “No! I want you to do something about the sun!”

Me: “Sir, I really can’t control the sun.”

Customer: “You can’t do anything? I have very sensitive eyes!”

Me: “I can move you to another table.”

Customer: “No, that won’t work. How about you just stand here while I eat and block the sun?”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

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Chinchilla, I Choose You

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a pet for my daughter. I think she’d like one of those furry things. You know, a Pikachu?”

Me: *pause* “A Pikachu?”

Customer: “Yeah, you know. It looks like a hamster and a rabbit put together.”

Me: “Do you mean a chinchilla?”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s it!”


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Bananas Can Taste Of Bitter Disappointment

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2010

(We sell bananas next to the cash register with a sign fixture that reads: ‘Bananas – 90 cents!’.)

Me: “Here’s your tall coffee, sir.”

Customer: *looking at bananas* “Oh, so that’s what you call them! ‘Tropical Paradise Bars.’ I’ve been calling them bananas my whole life!”

(I see the banana sign has accidentally been flipped over to read ‘Tropical Paradise Bars – $2.25.’)

Me: “Oh, that’s the wrong sign.” *flips sign back over*

Customer: “Oh. Never mind, then.” *walks away looking disappointed*


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I Find Your Lack Of T-shirts Disturbing

, , , , , | Right | July 29, 2009

(I’m selling t-shirts at Comic-Con in San Diego. Two men are dressed as Star Wars characters come to my booth.)

Jedi #1: “Man, these shirts are all great. I don’t know how I’ll pick.”

Coworker: “Well, they are two for $35, so you can get any two you like.”

Jedi #2: “Is there any deal for three?”

Coworker: “Nope, just by twos.”

(Suddenly, the second Jedi activates his light-up lightsaber and speaks in an angry, menacing tone.)

Jedi #2: “How about now?!”

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