Why Can’t These Jerks Blow Themselves Up On Their Own Time?

, , , , , | Right | April 1, 2021

I am driving into a gas station and notice a man smoking at his parked van. The van is directly in front of a rack of propane tanks and only about thirty meters from the pumps. Where the man is standing, there are no less than three “No Smoking” signs clearly visible. I roll down my window and get his attention.

Me: “Excuse me. There’s no smoking here.”

Smoker: *Playing naïve* “Where?”

Me: “You’re in front of propane tanks; this is a gas station. There’re ‘No Smoking’ signs everywhere.”

Smoker: *Just being a jerk* “Where?”

I point at one in front of his van, above the propane.

Me: “There.”

Smoker: “That’s for over there; I’m all the way over here.” 

He gestures as if it’s a great distance. To be clear, the nose of the passenger van is practically touching the propane tanks, and he is standing next to the rear tire of the vehicle. And he’s still at a gas station, near enough to the pumps to be a concern.

Me: “The signs mean the whole area. This is a gas station.”

Smoker: “Relax, I’m not going to blow anything up. I’ve got my gas licence; I know what’s safe. It’s fine.”

I parked and walked into the station, and I spoke to a cashier and a man who appeared to be a manager or the owner. I informed them that someone was smoking in the parking lot. They were both immediately concerned, and they told me it was not permitted anywhere on premises, as I would expect.

The smoker was just entering as I finished speaking to them. I was fuming as I walked away. I hope they explained that his bad habit doesn’t give him the right to endanger other’s safety.

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Some Managers Aren’t Too Sharp

, , , , , | Working | March 8, 2021

Part of my job is to audit the work area for compliance. We have a big external audit coming up, so if I can catch any little issue now, it won’t get brought up later and in front of everyone.

I notice an unusual blade sitting in one of the boxes. Anything unusual could be relating to an issue, so I question it.

Warehouse Manager: “Oh, that’s [Worker]’s. He struggles to use the other ones.”

Me: “The other safety ones?”

Warehouse Manager: “Yeah.”

Me: “The other safety ones that were put in place because we had a serious accident that sent someone to the hospital all because people left blades like this in boxes like that?”

Warehouse Manager: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, I’m taking this away with me. [Worker] can get used to the safety ones from now on.”

Warehouse Manager: “What? Don’t be a jobsworth.”

Me: “Seventeen stitches and the person still doesn’t have full sensation in their hand. Blood all over the place. You can have proper ones or you can take it up with [Senior Manager].”

Warehouse Manager: “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

He did, but of course, he didn’t tell the manager the full story. I reminded the senior manager that this would probably result in a lawsuit if someone injured themselves this time, as the company now had full knowledge and had failed to act.

He unsurprisingly changed his tone, thanked me, and gave the warehouse manager an earful.

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Sometimes It’s Safer To Have A Cow

, , , , | Learning | March 4, 2021

It’s an ordinary day. I am reading a book to my fourth-grade class when the principal comes on the intercom.

Principal: “Teachers and faculty, this is a code blue. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill.”

Heart pounding, I do everything I am supposed to. I check for people in the hallway, turn out the lights, lock the door, urge my class into a hidden corner of the room, and tell them to be quiet.

An hour passes, and my kids start getting antsy.

Student: “Mr. [My Name], what’s going on?”

Me: “I don’t know. And be quiet.”

A few more minutes pass, and the principal comes on the intercom again and says the danger has passed. I do all the usual procedures and find my boss in the hallway. He’s laughing. I also spot a police officer who is also laughing.

Me: “What happened? My kids were scared!”

Principal: “It was a cow!”

Me: “You’re kidding.”

Police Officer: “No, he’s not. Somebody forgot to close the main doors, and she managed to get in and make herself at home! We’ve contacted animal control and are currently asking all the local farmers if she’s theirs.”

Laughing, I went back to my classroom, calmed down my kids, and told them that everything was okay. And that’s how a cow caused mass panic in an elementary school and caused us to lock down for over an hour.

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A Rollercoaster Of Emotions

, , , , , | Right | February 18, 2021

I’m a ride operator at an amusement park. Most coasters require a height of 4’0”. It assures that the rider will be safely secured through the ride. A little girl comes up with her mom and I notice that she’s extremely small so I kindly ask her to exit the train before take-off and stand against the measurer to make sure she’s riding safely.

Me: “Hey! Could I have you take a quick stand against the post here to check your height?”

Mother: “Don’t do it.”

She looks away from me.

Me: “Hmm, all right, ma’am. I’ll just need to measure her to make sure it’s safe for her to ride. Otherwise, I can’t let the train take off.”

Mother: “I said no! Get out of my face!”

It’s 104°F out, I’m in full “cowgirl” attire, and I’m just trying to get through the day. I’m sweaty, I’m tired, and I’m annoyed. I have my dispatcher release the hand bars and everyone sighs. The woman pulls hers and her daughter’s back down. Again, I have them released.

Me: “Ma’am, we can do one of two things. I can measure your child and we can move on from this, or I can shut down the coaster, call security, and have you escorted from the park.”

Mother: “Get off the d*** train, go stand on your tippy-toes like I told you, and hurry up!”

The child is very visibly about a head too short to ride.

Me: *Talking to them both* “I’m so sorry, but it doesn’t look like you’re quite tall enough! We can have your adults take turns and I can help by getting you in through the exit to a ride of your choice that you can safely ride!”

My life flashed before my eyes and all I saw was the child’s mom jumping out of the train and straight at me. She grabbed my hair, started yanking on my suspenders, and screamed like a wild woman. I had to literally kick her off of me for trying to keep her kid safe!

Eventually, security got there and pulled her away and escorted her out… through the employee back lot. I’d say I was surprised, but it’s even more surprising how many people put their kids at risk for a short ride.

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Screw My Kid’s Safety!

, , , , | Right | February 12, 2021

I used to work as an operator in a theme park. Each ride had a “you must be this tall to ride” sign at the start of the queue and every operator had another measure near the entrance. Naturally, people ignored it and tried to get their kids on the rides anyway. I always made sure to check all the kids that were close to the height requirements.

One day, I was working with the chair swing roundabout when I saw a family standing in the line. The mother was carrying her son in her arms. The boy was clearly too small, but I still asked her to let him stand so I could check his height. He was at least ten centimeters (almost four inches) too small. I told the boy and his mother that, sadly, he was too small for the ride. The mother protested a bit, but she left with her son without making too much of a fuss, while the rest of the family boarded the ride.

I made my round to check if everybody was secured — everyone was — and started the ride. 

Once the ride was done, I heard crying and I saw the small boy getting lifted out of the ride by his father! Apparently, the mother had handed the boy to the father while my view was blocked during my round.

I was seething, but because it was busy, I sadly never got the chance to chew them out for disregarding almost all safety protocols just so their little boy could not enjoy himself and cry.

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