Exams That Pull An All-Nighter

, , , , , | Learning | September 28, 2019

This was some years ago. I was taking the AP exam toward the end of the day, when the fire alarm for the school went off. Who schedules a fire drill during college entrance exams? At any rate, we had to leave the building. It took so long to end the drill that by the time we got back, the amount of time allotted for the test had passed, and it was the end of the school day and we needed to go home.

But that meant we weren’t allowed to finish our exams. The Powers That Be decided that we would go home, promise not to do any studying, and pick up the test the next day.

The other schools in the district found out about this and protested. We had to sign affidavits saying we did not study overnight, did not communicate with anybody about the test, etc.

And when it was all over and done with, I got my score — a four — with an asterisk next to it:

*School reports a disturbance during examination.

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Would Rather Be Alive Than Late

, , , , , | Learning | September 22, 2019

(My sister works as a nurse at an elementary and middle school. One day, they are running a lockdown drill, a practice simulation for if a dangerous person is on campus. The instructions are to lock yourself in a room, turn off any lights that are visible from the outside, and make as little noise as possible. My sister has two students with her when the drill starts, one of whom has already been physically ill, so she decides for them to hide in the attached bathroom. She has her cell phone and her staff radio on hand with her. Throughout the simulation, multiple people come and try to open the door, or knock on it asking if anyone is in there. Following her instructions, my sister does not respond and turns off her radio whenever she hears footsteps approaching. This continues for some time until an assistant principal she is friendly with approaches:)

AP: “[Sister], it’s [Assistant Principal]. Here is my employee ID.” *slips it under the door* “I am here to tell you that the simulation is over. Please come out.”

(She opens the door.)

AP: “So, you were in there! We’ve been trying to find you for half an hour!”

Sister: *exiting the room* “I had my phone;  someone could’ve–” *phone beeps showing several messages* “Huh, I guess the bathroom is a dead zone for cell service.”

(Turns out the lockdown had been over for a while but they couldn’t find a way to inform her of that. She exited to a frustrated staff and a mother who was there to pick up her sick child. Her principal was ready to scold her but quickly relented when my sister argued that she was following procedure.)

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A Very Testing Environment

, , , , , , | Learning | September 13, 2019

When I’m in high school, my school undergoes a campus change due to various issues with the current campus, mainly size. The change from the fifty-year-old original campus to the brand new campus occurs partway through my sophomore year, but we are still at the old campus for the first half of my sophomore year.

I’m taking a test in World History class around November when the fire alarm blares. My class dutifully leaves their tests and we exit the building. A fair bit of us are grumbling, since it’s pretty cold and breezy out and most of us are just in jeans and long-sleeved T-shirts. After a few minutes, we get the okay from the teachers to go back inside. We return to our tests and assume that’s the end of it.

We’ve barely warmed up when the fire alarm rings again. We grumble at getting interrupted again — most of us really just want to finish the test — leave the classroom, and go sit outside again until we get the okay to go back inside.

After we get back inside, it’s not five minutes before the fire alarm rings again.

We complain and go to leave the building, but fewer than half of us are out the classroom door before one of the other teachers calls out, “For goodness’ sake, go back to class!”

Everyone finishes the test on time and we get the fire alarm fixed so we won’t have drills every five minutes.

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The Food Is Thawed But She Is Still Ice Cold  

, , , , , , | Right | September 4, 2019

(One night, the freezers at the grocery store where I work go down overnight. All the staff has to spend the next morning putting everything in carts and taking them to the dumpster. I am in the back working in receiving that day, and the once-frozen items have been in the dumpster for about four hours in the hot sun, when a woman shows up very upset.)

Woman: “Why is all this food out here and why didn’t you call me?!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “WHY. DIDN’T. YOU. CALL. ME? I could use this food and you’re just wasting it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our freezer went out overnight so everything was thawed when we opened. It can’t be sold or consumed.”

Woman: “Tell me why that is. TELL ME WHY THAT IS!”

Me: *long pause* “Because you might die?”

Woman: “That’s for me to sort out. You should know to call me about this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know who you are.”

Woman: “Oh, that is rich. Everyone knows me; I’m [Woman] and I run the food shelter. I’m taking this stuff.”

Me: “No, ma’am, please. This food has been here, baking in the sun for hours. It cannot be eaten.”

Woman: “Shut the f*** up, plebe, and load this s*** in my car!”

(My manager hears the exchange and tells her exactly what I told her. She turns beet red and yells.)

Woman: “You f***ers will be sorry you messed with [Woman]!”

Manager: *to me* “She’s been doing her job for two weeks, and the first time I met her she said I should already know who she is.”

Me: “Yep, I got that part.”

 

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Not Quite Jumping To Conclusions

, , , , , , | Learning | July 31, 2019

(I’m in my late 20s. I have worked with kids for many years. I’ve just gotten in an elevator when I’m followed by a group of girls, no older than 13. There is a sign in the elevator warning people not to jump.)

Girl #1: “Okay, everyone. On three…”

(They get set, and I realize that they’re going to jump once the elevator starts moving.)

Me: *in my best teacher voice* “HEY!”

(They all stare at me.)

Me: “What does that sign say?”

Girl #1: “Jumping in the elevator will cause… entrapment.” 

Girl #2: “What’s entrapment?”

Me: “It means that we will be trapped if y’all start jumping.”

(Blank stares.)

Me: “We’ll be stuck, and the fire department will have to rescue us.”

Girl #2: “Ohhhhh.”

Me: “I don’t want to be stuck in an elevator today. Do y’all?”

Girls #1-4: *quietly* “No, ma’am.”

(My floor dinged, so I got off. As I was walking away, I heard one of the girls say in surprise, “How did she even KNOW?”)

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