Final Destination: The Ride

, , , , | Right | May 22, 2020

One of the more popular rides in the theme park where I work has been closed for a considerable amount of time due to maintenance issues. 

Customer: “So, we can’t ride [Roller Coaster] today?”

Me: “Not unless you wish to die.”


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I Don’t Think I Like Your Tone(r)

, , , , , | Working | May 20, 2020

I am about a month in at my new job. There is an unofficial rota amongst the staff that goes desk by desk to replace the printer toner and paper. My desk happens to be next, and the toner is running low.

Me: “[Manager], do we have gloves for changing out the printer, and can we get the window open in there?”

Manager: “Why on earth would you need gloves?” 

Me: “Because I don’t want to get toner on my hands?”

Manager: “Aww, your poor delicate hands?”

Me: “The toner is hazardous, and it’s recommended you use gloves when working with it. The window also needs to be opened to ventilate the room. There are warnings on the box.” 

Manager: “That seems a bit extreme for us.”

Me: “Well, if you want me to change the toner, that’s what you have to do.”

Manager: “You really go to extreme lengths to procrastinate. If you didn’t want to do it, you could have just said.”

Me: “I have no issue with doing it, as long as it doesn’t affect my health.”

Manager: “Well, we change the ink out every other week, and no one has taken ill from it.”

Me: “Then you’re very lucky.”

The manager tells me not to bother and he’ll get someone else to do it. Not fifteen minutes later, [Manager] comes out, hands black and holding an empty toner tube.

Manager: “See, [My Name], nothing to it!”

I’m not impressed and I grab a fresh box. Thankfully, they’re in another room.

Me: “‘Warning: contents may be carcinogenic. Prolonged exposure can result in liver and kidney damage. Ensure the area is well ventilated and that gloves are used while handling.’”

[Manager] scoffed at it and continued with his day, but one by one the people in the office inspected the box, reading the warning themselves. During lunch, I heard a couple of them talking about how their last checkups with the doctor indicated the early signs of liver disease, and one man saying he was asthmatic and was going to opt out of the rota.

A month later, there is a box of gloves that everyone dips into when the toner needs changed, and the window in there is now always open. The manager doesn’t say anything but still changes the toner like he always does.

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Alcohol Strips You Of Agency

, , , , , , , | Right | April 29, 2020

I work as a dishwasher at a restaurant in town. Toward the end of the night, one of my coworkers was cleaning the stoves. The stoves were still hot and the second he poured water on them, the amount of steam that came off of them was enough to set off the sprinklers above them as well as the fire alarm.

A few minutes later, the fire department showed up — two firemen in all their gear, and one in a regular uniform.

During this whole situation, there was a group celebrating a woman’s birthday party. Everyone in the group was severely drunk; that being said, when the firemen were trying to come into the restaurant, somebody in the group thought the firemen were male strippers. The group became loud and excited, chanting, “Strippers! Strippers! Strippers!”

One of the women in the group forced herself onto one of the firemen and a police officer on scene had to break it up.

Fortunately for the group, nobody was arrested.

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One Day Will Be Her Last Call

, , , , , | Right | March 22, 2020

(As I pull up to the bowser at a petrol station, I notice a dark-haired woman in her 30s at the next bowser talking on her phone as she finishes filling up. When I finish and go to pay she is at the counter. There is another customer behind her, and then there is me.)

Attendant: *talking to [Customer #1]* “You are not allowed to use your phone when filling up or around the bowsers.”

Customer #1: “Oh, why not?”

Attendant: “It is dangerous, and if my boss sees you doing it, I can get in a lot of trouble, and so can you.”

Customer #1: “Why is it dangerous?”

(The attendant goes on to explain how a spark from the phone could cause an explosion, and there are signs at all the bowsers warning people not to use their phones. [Customer #1] suddenly sounds concerned and remorseful.)

Customer #1: “Oh, dear, I’m terribly sorry; I won’t do it again.”

(She then picks up her phone she had put on the counter — still connected to a call — puts it to her ear, and carries on with her conversation.)

Customer #1: “Did you hear that? Using a phone at the petrol station is dangerous!”

(She continued to talk on the phone as she got to her car and drove off. [Customer #2], the attendant, and I all looked at each other dumbfounded.)

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Changing Outfits And Lungs

, , , , , | Right | March 21, 2020

(This story was told to me by a coworker. The pool where I work is an older chlorine pool; since chlorine is a deadly gas we have an extremely sensitive alarm to warn us if there is a leak. When it goes off, we have to evacuate everyone from the pool immediately until we can determine if it’s a false alarm or not. This occurs as my coworker and a supervisor are trying to get everyone out of the building.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, is that your daughter in the change room?”

Mother: “Yeah, she’s changing.”

(My coworker goes and checks on the daughter who appears to just be standing there. She is joined by my supervisor because they are the last people left to be evacuated.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, she appears to just be standing there. Can you throw a towel over her and please take her outside?”

Mother: “No, she’s changing.”

Supervisor: “If this was a fire drill, would you be letting her change?!”

Mother: “Well, if this was a fire drill, I’d rather she be changed than cold!”

Supervisor: “You realize this is chlorine gas? It’s what they used in WW2! We could start coughing up our lungs!”

Mother: “Hmph!”

(Eventually, they get them outside and it turns out to be just a false alarm, but the mother has one last parting shot.)

Mother: *with obvious sarcasm* “Thanks for the great customer service.”

Coworker & Supervisor: “You’re welcome?”

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