I deliver pizza on Saturday nights for an independent shop, and this is my last order of the night. The counter employees will sometimes mark a slip if the customer is paying cash and will need change for a large bill, but as it gets later, they’re less likely to do so, figuring I’ll have enough cash by then. And I do, but I always keep larger bills locked and hidden in my car, with ones and fives only in my pocket.

I get to the address and have to spend a few minutes figuring out which house it is, as it’s after dark and not a well-lit neighborhood. The customer has no porch light on and no house numbers on the side of her house, but I end up determining that it’s the house a few houses up from where I parked, and I climb up her very dilapidated steps and knock.

Customer: “Who is that? Who’s there?”

Me: “It’s [My Name] from [Pizza Place]. I have your order.”

I hear multiple locks being opened, and then she opens the door. She’s a middle-aged, bordering on elderly, woman.

Me: “Your total is $72 [and change].”

She gives me a $100 bill.

Customer: *Snarkily* “I told them I would need change; just give me $25 back.”

Well, lo and behold, I only have about $20 in my small bills, so I let her know I have to go back to my car for change. When I come back and give her the change, she starts going on a tangent.

Customer: “You need to be careful out there! I can’t believe they have a woman out delivering after dark. You could get robbed or attacked!”

And so on.

So… you placed this order late at night, expecting the driver to have a larger amount of cash on their person. You obviously have concerns for your own safety, but you seem okay with me potentially falling on your s***ty, steep steps since you didn’t bother turning the light on until you had to come to the door, and you don’t even have a number on your house. Then, you proceed to lecture me about safety.

But thank you, so much, for the 3% tip.

I used to work at a small amusement park. The most popular attraction at the park was the go-kart track. Before every go-kart race, before we started the engines, one of the employees would give a speech over a speaker system stating the basic operating principles and rules of the track.

One of the rules was that after the race when drivers returned to the “pit area”, they were expected to stay in their go-karts with their seat belts fastened until an employee told them they could exit. This was to prevent people from getting hurt if they unbuckled and tried to stand up, only to be rear-ended by the go-kart behind them when the other driver forgot to hit the brakes. This rule would also be repeated over the speaker system every ten seconds or so while the go-karts were returning to the pit area after the race.

Despite the numerous repetitions of this rule, we almost always had drivers trying to unbuckle as soon as they parked their go-kart. Whoever was on the microphone for that race would repeat the warning to stay seated with seat belts over and over, getting louder every time until they were practically yelling. Usually, the yelling worked, but not always.

One day, a coworker of mine was on the microphone, and a driver unbuckled too early and started to stand up to get out of his go-kart despite my coworker yelling at him. As expected, the next driver crashed into the back of his go-kart, causing him to lose his balance and fall in spectacular fashion.

My coworker then said into the microphone, at full volume and with sarcasm dripping from his voice, a line that we would continue to use for as long as I worked at the park.

Coworker: “AND THAT IS WHY WE REMAIN SEATED WITH OUR SEAT BELT FASTENED!”

The driver who got knocked over gave the most hateful glare to my coworker, while everyone else in and around the pit area started laughing. Fortunately, the driver wasn’t hurt physically — only his ego.

This story is being told second-hand by a non-specialist, so some minor details may be wrong.

My best friend worked as a swimming instructor alongside his mum several years ago, teaching young children. Due to the children’s age, at least one parent or guardian was required to be present for the entire lesson.

One day, in the middle of winter, [Friend] entered the pool area with a gaggle of kids and parents and immediately noticed that the temperature of the room was way lower than he expected. Sure enough, the pool heating had failed overnight, and the pool temperature had dropped down to 20C (68F).

20C might sound nice and warm, but as water is a very good conductor of heat and has a very high heat capacity, that is actually quite cold water. It’s not icy cold but enough that you’d need to acclimatize to it before being comfortable swimming, and way too cold for small children and toddlers to safely swim in.

However, a 20C pool will keep the air at a nice and warm 20C, which feels even warmer in winter, so some of the parents didn’t believe [Friend] when he announced that lessons were cancelled for the day due to the cold pool. One father in particular took issue with this and demanded that his child be allowed to swim, but my friend held firm and said no.

At this point, [Friend] turned around to speak to some other parents about refunds for the lesson and reschedules for the more advanced swimmers. Then, they all heard a splash coming from the pool.

Fearing that a child had fallen in, [Friend] quickly turned around and was greeted by the sight of a grown man, curled into the fetal position, rapidly sinking into the deep end of the pool. The angry dad from earlier had wanted to show my friend that 20C was nice and warm, and of course his son could swim today, so he’d stripped to his underwear and dove in.

Here’s the thing about cold water: if you jump in and are not used to cold water, your body gets so overwhelmed by the sudden cold shock that your muscles all cramp up at once, leaving you to sink like a rock. 20C isn’t massively cold, but it will feel like it if you’re standing in a warm, humid room and expecting warm water.

At this point, [Friend] knew that someone needed to rescue this guy before he earned a Darwin award in front of a dozen small children, and knowing that his mum wasn’t strong enough to pull a full-grown man off of the bottom of the pool, [Friend] dove in himself.

Now, [Friend] is hardly immune to cold shock, either, and knew he only had a few seconds, but a combination of keeping his shirt on to give him a slight edge in insulation and expecting the sudden shock of the cold water allowed him to dive in and drag the terminal idiot to the edge of the pool, where the other parents hauled him out and got some towels on him.

[Friend] only managed to also not drown by holding onto the ladder, but he told everyone to make sure that the parent was dry before he got out. He had to be helped out by his own mother, along with a few other parents, and he needed the rest of the day off.

The moron who started this entire thing was banned for life for disobeying a lifeguard and endangering staff, but it was made clear that his son was welcome back, so long as he was accompanied by a competent adult.

I work in a large retail store with a coworker who is well known as a walking safety hazard. To our disbelief and anger, he never gets much more than a slap on the wrist.

One day, I’m in the backroom and see him operating a walkie-stacker — basically a smaller version of a forklift that you walk with instead of sitting in to drive — with the forks all the way up and nothing on them.

Me: “[Coworker]!”

Coworker: *Stopping* “What?”

Me: “Put those forks down right now! If you hit something like that, the balance will be off, and it might tip over!”

Coworker: “Nah, I’m almost where I’m going.”

Before I can say anything else, he starts moving again and almost immediately hits a shelf with the raised forks, losing control of the walkie-stacker. The machine tips over, breaking a camera and a monitor on the way down, landing with a very loud clang. Fortunately, nobody is hurt.

[Coworker ]and I stare at each other, me in fury, him looking like a deer in headlights.

Coworker: “I gotta go.”

He runs in the opposite direction. I immediately go to find a manager.

Me: “[Manager], you need to come look in the backroom right now.”

Manager: *Sighs* “Let me guess. [Coworker]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Manager: “He always does something. I’ll deal with it later.”

Me: “No, [Manager]. Seriously, you need to go look right now.”

The look on his face is as if the thing he has been dreading has finally happened. He nearly runs to the backroom, and in minutes, his voice comes over the intercom.

Manager: “[Coworker] to my office IMMEEEEDIATELYYYYY!”

We don’t know exactly how that exchange went, other than the fact that [Coworker] astoundingly wasn’t fired.

I am working the floor at a big-box retailer when the fire alarm goes off. I don’t see any fire or smell any smoke, but it’s a big building, so I make my way to the exit, alert for customers on my way out.

There aren’t many, as it’s late at night, but I do encounter a woman in the clothing section. The fire alarm is still blaring, but she continues to shop the racks, unperturbed. Thinking she could be hearing-impaired, I step into her sight line and speak clearly:

Me: “The fire alarm is sounding. Please come with me to the exit.”

Customer: *Irate* “I’m not done shopping, and you’re not going anywhere until I am! And aren’t you going to do something about that racket?”

Me: “That… is the fire alarm. Everyone needs to leave the building for safety.”

She adamantly refused and began cursing at me. I abandoned her and left the building.

Luckily for her, it was a glitch in the system and there was no actual fire, but I will never forget that crazy woman who was willing to risk burning alive rather than stop shopping.

Related:
An Alarming Lack Of Concern