Giving You Something To Wine About

, , , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2017

(I’m working the closing shift at a drugstore. About an hour before we close, the manager notices someone has been in the women’s restroom for about half an hour. The manager goes to talk to her, and this happens:)

Manager: *knocking on door* “Ma’am, are you okay?”

Lady In Bathroom: “UHH!”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Manager: “She won’t talk to me. I’m going to call the police.”

(A sheriff’s deputy arrives shortly after.)

Officer: *knocking on door* “This is the police. Is everything all right?”

Lady In Bathroom: “UHH!”

(The police officer entered to investigate, and the lady was taken out of the store on a stretcher. I thought she might have just gotten sick, but after closing, while I was cleaning the bathrooms, there was vomit everywhere and I found a half-empty box of wine next to the toilet that the lady must’ve stolen off the shelf before drinking in the bathroom.)

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Things Are Dirty In The Sock Exchange

, , , , , , | Right | October 27, 2017

(I work in the hosiery department at a department store with a lenient return policy. A customer comes up to the counter and dumps out the contents of her small bag, dropping two pairs of “holiday” socks on the counter, a couple days after that holiday, both twisted and half inside-out. There is no tag, and she has no receipt.)

Me: “Have they been worn?”

Customer: “OF COURSE NOT! GEEZ!”

(The customer got offended when I picked up her worn, dirty socks with a piece of tissue paper.)

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Your Demand Can Kick The Bucket

, , , , , , | Right | October 27, 2017

(I work at a barn so that I can ride the horses there for free. Today, it’s my job to clean and bleach every bucket in the barn, which can take hours. A lady I don’t know walks up to me and just completely blows my mind about how people treat stable hands.)

Lady: “Hey, you’re doing a great job there! I have six seriously dirty buckets in my truck, and you look like you could use the extra work!”

(I laugh, because I think she’s joking, and continue cleaning. A minute or two passes and the lady comes back with, no joke, six of the grossest buckets I’ve ever seen.)

Lady: “You thought I was kidding! Get to work!”

(She smiled and walked away, so I finished my job and drove home, leaving the random woman’s dirty buckets as a surprise for her when she came back.)

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Will Be Strung Along Here For A While

, , , , | Right | October 24, 2017

(A customer and her family come in. I assume it’s her son’s birthday since they’ve all brought gifts. During their visit, I have no problem catering to their needs, but right before they leave they have a silly-string battle. They get the stuff all over the floor and on three separate booths. I later find out that the gunk is like cement after it dries, and is therefore almost impossible to get off. We have a prize counter where you can exchange tickets for toys.)

Coworker: “Do we even give out silly-string as a prize?”

Me: “That would be so evil! These people decided to bring this stuff from home.”

Coworker: “Why would someone even bring that kind of thing into a restaurant?”

Me: “Have you seen the people that come in here? Common sense and respect aren’t dominant traits.”

Coworker: “Oh, yeah. Good point. People suck. Have fun cleaning up that mess.”

Me: *sigh*

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No Such Thing As A Clean Getaway

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2017

(I’m a housekeeper for an apartment building. The residents can get free cleaning every day, or decline if they wish to. There’s an old man that lives alone with his dog, and lately he’s been declining cleaning. We maids are happy, because it means less work for us. One day, he moves out.)

Manager: “Okay, get a crew in there for some deep cleaning!”

(Crew goes and returns.)

Crew: “You’re not going to believe this!”

(The manager went in to see. The apartment was totally destroyed. The manager called the police. Turned out the dog had some kind of untreated infection on his skin and rubbed on the walls, causing massive stains everywhere, and the old man had an infection on his head and bled all over the bed. The old man was arrested and fined for cruelty to animals and causing thousands of dollars in damage!)

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