Bag That One For Later

, , , , , , | Healthy | February 20, 2018

(Both the flu and a stomach bug have been going around my sister’s school and about a quarter of the population ends up sick. She ends up going to her nurse with the stomach bug after throwing up in the hallway, and my dad has just come to pick her up.)

Nurse: “Here’s a bag for the car ride home, in case you have to throw up again.”

(A random kid runs in from the hallway, grabs the bag from her hands, and throws up in it.)

Nurse: “Okay, I’ll get you another bag and throw this one away.”

(This repeated two more times with another student who was already in the nurse’s office and one of the history teachers, before my sister finally got her own bag to go home with. We’re all surprised they didn’t just quarantine the entire school at that point.)

1 Thumbs
436

Free-Ballin’ It With The Housemates

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 16, 2018

(I live in a shared house set up with three bedrooms on each floor, each floor sharing a communal bathroom. I get on with all my housemates except one, who is generally obnoxious and seems to have very little respect for others. He eats food left in the communal fridge when it is clearly marked, plays music late at night, bangs doors early in the morning, etc. These are fairly low-level things, but rude when living in shared housing. One day after leaving the bathroom I realise I can’t find my razor. Presuming I left it in the bathroom, I ask the other people on my floor to let me know if they come across it. A few days later, I happen to pass the rude housemate on the landing as he is leaving the bathroom. In addition to his own toiletries, he has my razor in his hand.)

Me: “Oh, you found my razor. Great.”

Rude Housemate: “Yeah, it was in the bathroom and I needed some new blades, so I used it.”

Me: *standing there, with a serious beard* “You used it?”

Rude Housemate: “Yeah. You should pick up after yourself; it was left in the bathroom.”

Me: “No problem. I’ll get a new one.”

(It’s slightly evil, but I do wonder how long he shaved his face with the same razor I had shaved my balls with.)

1 Thumbs
584

Flights Of Fancy

, , , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(This previous weekend we held a giant expo and trade fair, where our suppliers offered generous discounts for people who booked reservations or tickets. It was hugely successful. The major condition about it all, however, was that you had to book on those two weekend days, otherwise the prices went back to normal. I am sitting at my desk, four days after the expo, when this occurs. A customer walks in.)

Customer: *yelling* “I want to be served!”

Me: “Welcome! Take a seat! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to talk about the Travel Expo.” *pulls out a full colour newspaper ad from previous weekend’s paper* “I want this price to fly to Los Angeles. For two people.”

Me: “Okay! Unfortunately, those prices were for that weekend only. They are no longer being advertised at that price.”

Customer: *yelling* “I KNOW THAT! I CAN READ!”

(The customer pulls out a sandwich and begins to eat it, dropping food all over my desk and the floor.)

Me: “Um… Would you like me to find flights that might suit you better?”

Customer: “Find me good flights!”

(I do a thorough search, and I am not able to match any prices that resemble the amazing deal offered that weekend. I find the best solution, and I offer it to her. In the meantime, she has been reading the fine print on the advertising.)

Me: “So, the price will be [higher price]. This is the closest I can get to the advertised fare that was being shown at the Expo.”

Customer: “That is disgusting! I want this fare!” *points at ad*

Me: “I would love to be able to give you that price, but as you can see, it was for a limited time.”

Customer: *attempts to stare me down while eating and dropping her sandwich all over my desk area* “I want this price.”

Me: “I cannot give you that price, I am afraid. It was last weekend only.”

Customer: *screeching* “I CAN READ THE FINE PRINT!”

Me: “Would you like me to book you the [higher price] flights? As you’re wanting to fly over the Christmas holiday period, these are very good prices.”

Customer: “NO! You disgust me!”

(The customer throws herself out of the chair and stomps out of the store. At this point my boss walks past.)

Boss: “Have you been eating at your desk?”

1 Thumbs
610

Truly Sickening Imagery

, , , , , , | Working | February 12, 2018

(I don’t think this series of text messages from an employee — who didn’t last too long, by the way — to our boss needs much commentary.)

Employee: “I can’t come into work today. My dog is really sick, and I need to take her to the vet.”

Employee: *texts photo of a pile of dog vomit*

1 Thumbs
226

My Cup Runneth Over With Bad Customers

, , , , , , | Right | February 8, 2018

(I work at a popular clothing store in London. We don’t have customer bathrooms, but occasionally if we have a pregnant customer or someone with a child we will take them to the staff bathroom. This is a busy afternoon during the Christmas period, and a bunch of things have already gone wrong today. We are stressed. I notice a lady wandering around with a few items, and her little boy holding her hand.)

Boy: “Mummmmm, I have to gooooo!”

Customer: “In a minute. You just have to hold it.”

Boy: “Mummmmmmm!”

Me: “Hi there. Just so you know, I can take you back to use our staff bathroom; it’s not a problem.”

Customer: “Oh, no, thank you. It’s fine; he’s just bored!” *to boy* “We’ll go soon, I promise, and then we can go to [Nearby Toy Store]!”

(She wanders upstairs to the fitting rooms, and I don’t think any more about it, until a colleague’s voice comes over the walkie about ten minutes later.)

Colleague: “Um… I need a manager in the fitting rooms?”

Manager: “I’m in the office at the minute; is it something I can help with over walkie?”

Colleague: “You might want to come up here. I have a cup of urine.”

(As it turned out, the customer had let her little boy pee into a plastic cup, and she hid it behind the mirror in her fitting room.)

1 Thumbs
453