Free T-Shirts From Azz-eroth

, , , , | Friendly | May 18, 2020

The online game I play had a meetup recently. It cost $20, all of which was donated to charity and you got swag, one of which was a T-shirt with the game logo on the front and your game login across the back.

In the game forum, one of the players asks:

Player: “Does it have to be the login?”

Me: “Why?”

Player: “Read my login.”

It was posted by “RancidDogFart.”

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Unfiltered Story #193821

, , | Unfiltered | May 5, 2020

A customer ordered a high-end, boutique amplifier for his guitar. The amp can be purchased as is, or ordered with an optional deluxe padded carry case (which is kind of expensive, but it’s boutique gear). The customer ordered both.

When we ship the amp and case as a package, we unpack the amp, and then put the amp inside the carry bag, and the whole deal inside the amp’s box, so we’re only shipping one package instead of two. A few days later…

Customer: “I’m calling because I’d like to return the carry bag.”
Me: “I’m sorry you had trouble with it. Is there something wrong with the bag? A faulty zipper, or a tear in the fabric or something? We can get you a replacement right away.”
Customer: “No, I just want a refund, because the amp doesn’t fit in it.”
Me: (Pauses) “Wait… the amp doesn’t fit into the custom case that’s made specifically for it?”
Customer: “Nope.”
Me: “So… the bag… that we shipped to you ON your new amp… doesn’t fit… on your new amp?”
Customer: “No, it’s too small.”
Me: “Just to be clear: we shipped the bag ON the amp. And you’re telling me that the bag is too small to fit THE AMP IT WAS ON when you received it?”
Customer: “Yes, and I’d like to return it for a refund.”
Me: (Dumbfounded pause) “Umm, okay. Let me get you a return authorization.”

(At this point, there was clearly no arguing with a demonstrably stupid person. Perhaps he just didn’t like the bag, thought it was overpriced, whatever.)

Unfiltered Story #192456

, , | Unfiltered | April 25, 2020

I sell custom cellphone cases, one of them is a print of a micro Tape recorder. It’s a cute, reto design and has sold a few times.
I get an email, in all caps, asking “DO THE TAPES COME WITH THYE CASE!! I NEED THE TAPES!”
So, after shaking my head, I nicely tell the person the case i only an image and not real.

All These Emails Took More Effort Than A Refund Would Have

, , , , , , , | Working | April 24, 2020

(I do a lot of my shopping online from [Big Retailer]. They have started using third-party sellers like [Online Retailer] does. I order a 1500LM spotlight. When it is delivered I get a 500LM lantern. [Big Retailer] says to contact the third-party company for a refund. From the emails, it slowly becomes obvious this company is very shady.)

Me: “I was sent the wrong item and would like a refund.”

Company: “Thanks for your email and sorry for the inconvenience.

We are the third party on [Big Retailer]. Sorry, could you please kindly tell us how we can help you? Please don’t worry; we will provide solutions as you wish after we confirm the problem. We wish your kindly understanding and wait for your reply.

Regards.”

Me: “The spotlight I ordered didn’t come. I got a lantern of some kind that isn’t even a flashlight.”

Company: “Thanks for your letter.

Please don’t worry. Your request will be accepted. But could you kindly describe the problem in detail?

Have you received the item you ordered? Or have you received the wrong item? We will give you a response as soon as possible. Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.

Best regards.”

Me: “I did not receive the item I ordered. The wrong item was delivered. I don’t want a replacement. I want a refund. If you will email me a return address label I will gladly send the item back.”

Company: “Thanks for your letter and sorry for this inconvenience.

Please don’t worry; we will provide a good solution for you.

But could you kindly provide us a picture of the received item and the SKU label on the product packaging?

Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.

Best regards.”

Me: “Here are pictures of the box. There is no SKU label on the box that I see.”

Company: “Thanks for your letter. Please don’t worry.

The item you received is the same as advertised.

You could take it out and check if it is workable.

If you have any other problems, please feel free to contact us. Have a nice day.

Best regards.”

Me: “No. The item is not as described. Not at all. Here are the two pictures side by side. The first pic is what I ordered. The second is what I received. Not the same thing. Not sure what the problem is but it’s not the same and I want a refund ASAP.”

Company: “Thanks for your calling and sorry for this inconvenience.

Please don’t worry; we will provide a good solution for you. But could you kindly provide us the picture of the received item and the SKU label on the product packaging? Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.

Best regards.”

Me: “I’ve already done this. I sent the email with the pictures of what I received and somebody emailed me back saying it was what I ordered. It was not. Sure, here are the pictures again. It is not the same thing and I want a refund ASAP. Best regards to you. Better when you refund my money.”

(I call [Big Retailer] customer service and read them all these emails. They refund my money. Then, I get another email.)

Company: “Thanks for your letter.

Could you kindly check if it is workable? If it is still workable, we would like to provide you a $3 refund as compensation. Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.

Best regards.”

Me: “You should have to send a full refund, not a $3 refund as compensation for something you did wrong! I have settled this matter with [Big Retailer]. I will add my online review to the many other negative reviews of your company.”

Company: “Thanks for your letter and sorry for this inconvenience.

We would like to provide you a $13 refund.

And you could keep the item.

Could you accept it?

Looking forward to your letter. Have a nice day.

Best regards.”

(I send another email. Here is proof that there is no way a person is reading these emails.)

Me: “Your offer is $13? Let me think about it. I think… no deal! As a struggling actor, I need all the breaks that I can get.

Looking forward to your letter. Not really.

Regards and Liberty Biberty to you.”

Company: “Thanks for your letter.

We have arranged a full refund to you. And you don’t need to return the item. It usually takes about three to five business days for the refund to appear on your credit/debit card. If you still haven’t received the refund that time, please ensure that five to seven business days have passed from the time that the refund was initiated. If you have any other problems, please feel free to contact us. Have a nice day.

Best regards.”

(I have my doubts they have any intention of sending a refund.)

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A Whisker Away From Insanity

, , , , , | Related | April 23, 2020

While working from home during the recent global health crisis, I post a picture online of my cat cuddling my laptop and mock-complain that my work calls are being interrupted by purring. The following comment exchange ensues between me and my sisters. 

Sister #1: “In-purr-upted?”

Sister #2: “I am proud of that pun. It is purrfect.” 

Me: *Pause* “Get out.”

Sister #1: “Aww. Do I have to leave right meow?” 

Me: “I guess you can stay for a mew minutes.” 

Sister #2: “You have got to be kitten me! She can stay fur as long as she likes!” 

Remember that laughter helps reduce stress! Stay safe and keep smiling, everyone!

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