, , , , , , , | Learning | December 20, 2020

We’re preparing for finals. The professor has a slideshow going.

Professor: “Right. We’re going into finals prep. And that means you’re going to have a lot of questions, and some of you are going to think, ‘Wow, I shouldn’t be asking this; [Professor] is going to think I didn’t listen at all.’ But hear me out: I was a student once, so I know you’re all not sleeping and you’re all having doubts. At this point, I’d usually say that there are no stupid questions, but I learned a very important lesson.”

He advances to a slide that just shows the title of the course and his own name.

Professor: “This class is Biology 241. Bi-o-lo-gy. Two. Four. One. My name is [Professor]. [Prooofesssoooor]. We’re taking a final exam. That’s a big test. It’s going to matter. There’s more information in your syllabus. That’s the big packet of information that tells you how the class works. It’s also on the course site. BIO. TWO. FOUR. ONE. [PROFESSOR]. And if you’re wondering how many students could have used this reminder, the answer is ‘more than none,’ and that’s all I need.”

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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Reading Skills Are Mandatory

, , , , , | Learning | December 18, 2020

Student: “Professor, I looked at the syllabus; it says the final is mandatory. So, if we choose not to take it, do we just keep the score we have now?”

Professor: “I just nominated you for a writing award. I’m going to let you Google every word you just said rather than calling up the dean and telling her to burn my letter.”

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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Your Description Is Laser Cut & Dry

, , , , , | Right | December 16, 2020

I took a laser cutting class a few years ago and, now with the lack of work due to the health crisis, I’m reworking some of the art I cut into jewellery. I’ve listed on a few online selling sites, including a second-hand clothing one, just to cover all my options.

I only get a few bites, but one comes from across the country, ordering a cutout of a pair of one-inch-tall boxing gloves hanging from a chain.

One morning, I get a rather angry message from the buyer saying that she didn’t get what she ordered; they were supposed to be 3D gloves.

Me: “But, it says, ‘laser-cut,’ in both the title and the description. The image looks a bit 3D because of the design, but you can see by the shadow that it’s a 2D cutout.”

She then sends a photo of herself holding the gloves, complaining that it looks nothing like the listing’s photo; I take it and paste the listing’s photos side by side. They look identical.

Me: “I don’t see a difference here.”

She then complains over and over that it has “holes” in it, which is part of the design that gives it the 3D feel of highlights.

We went back and forth for hours over the website’s complaint chat until I stopped responding.

Later, in the afternoon, I got a resolution email from the company ruling in my favour. I knew that the company would be watching the chat and considering the buyer’s complaints. I kept the whole conversation VERY (almost too) professional, while she came off as a petulant two-year-old.

I hate selling my art because people are so disrespectful and many know how to game the faceless, online system. Before all this, most of my work was sold by commission through stores, and then by my friend who travels around offices in our business selling her art and mine during the Christmas season. We usually make an absolute KILLING, raking in thousands of dollars throughout the month and the present-buying rush. But now, these desperate times call for desperate measures.

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Unfiltered Story #217765

, , | Unfiltered | December 9, 2020

(I’m selling some hats and scarves that I knitted online. The photos I use have my boyfriend as the model. One day I received this comment on one of them:)

Commenter: Does the hot guy come with the scarf?

Me: Sorry, no. The price is just for the scarf.

Commenter: So does that mean if I pay you extra, will he come with the scarf?

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You’ve Burned Your Bed And Now You Must Lie In It

, , , | Right | December 7, 2020

This is a chat transcript from the online support of our furniture store.

Guest: “Hi, I need a new bed.”

Me: “I am happy to help, [Guest]. Are you looking to place a new order or file a warranty claim on a mattress you feel has a manufacturing defect?”

Guest: “Warranty claim for my bed. My grandmother purchased it. Her customer ID is [number].”

Me: “Please visit [Warranty Website] to start the free Warranty eClaim. If you follow the step-by-step instructions and submit the required pictures, you will receive a response within five to ten business days. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

Guest: “I cannot provide pictures; bed destroyed.”

Me: “What do you mean, it is destroyed?”

Guest: “House fire.”

Me: “I am so sorry to hear that. However, that is not a manufacturing defect. You would need to file a claim with your home insurance.”

Guest: “It’s all about money to you companies!” *Ends chat*

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