Politeness Costs Nothing And An Apology Even Less

, , , , | Right | June 1, 2021

I’m selling a cell phone on eBay. I ship it as a first-class package and drop it off in a USPS dropbox on Monday. I get the following email three days later.

Customer: “Although you have printed a shipping label, the tracking shows that it has not been mailed. Either confirm that the phone has indeed been given to USPS or put it in the mail within the next twenty-four hours. I expect that the item should have been in transit days ago. Get it done!”

Confused, I check the tracking, and lo, it does not show that it has shipped. I begin to worry about whether it got picked up from the dropbox, but I decide to wait and watch a bit before replying.

The next day, I check the tracking and it has been delivered. The post office apparently didn’t scan it in properly at pickup, which happens from time to time. I respond.

Me: “I’m sorry for your misfortune. I dropped off the item Monday, and from what I can tell, it never got scanned until it reached its destination facility. It should have been delivered now.”

Customer: “Yep. I’m trying to activate it now. Thanks.”

And of course, why would you acknowledge your unnecessary hostility?

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Dad Jokes Aren’t All Greek To You

, , , , , , | Working | June 1, 2021

I’m currently in a weekly planning session with my coworkers. Due to the recent health crisis, we’ve been primarily working from home, and today, some of our team are back in the [City] office to socialise for the first time in months. They’re discussing their plans for lunch and where they’ll be going.

Colleague: “Well, it was a fifty-fifty between Greek and Thai, but we decided to go with Greek.”

Me: “So, what you’re telling us is that you had a Thai-breaker?”

The entire team groans.

Team Leader: “How can you have such bad dad jokes without having any kids?”

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All Women Learn To Fear The “Hey”

, , , , , | Romantic | June 1, 2021

I meet this guy at a party. At first, we hit it off, and we keep talking on social media, but after some time, he starts giving me some really creepy vibes so I cut back on talking to him. He is never outright rude but is persistent.

On several occasions, he asks me where I live and asks me for my number. Actually, he doesn’t ask; he says, “Tell me where you live,” or, “Give me your number.” Every time, I avoid telling him, and he replies, “All good,” but then a week later, he’ll ask again.

This isn’t enough for me to kick up a fuss, and as we have so many mutual friends, I don’t want to start any drama, so I reply civilly to his messages. This conversation is the turning point for me and happens during the peak of the health crisis.

Guy: “Hi, beautiful, how are you?”

Me: “I’m good. How are you?”

Guy: “Not bad.” 

Silence.

Guy: “What were you up to today?”

Me: “Not much, just getting some work done before dinner.”

Guy: “Ah. I went out for dinner. To [Local Restaurant].”

Me: “Oh, I love that place!”

Guy: “After [global health crisis], can we catch up?”

Me: “Um… sure?”

Guy: “Where do you live?”

Me: “Far away from you, haha.”

Guy: “Where? Tell me.”

Me: “Why do you want to know?”

Guy: “No reason, just asking.”

Me: “Lol, well, just far away from you, haha.”

Guy: “I’m now living in [Suburb].”

Me: “Oh, that’s where [Mutual Friend] used to live. Did you always live there?”

Guy: “It was right next to his place. And no, before I was living near the beach.”

Me: “Lucky! I’ve always wanted to live by the water.”

Guy: “Mhm.”

Me: “So, you and [Mutual Friend] were almost neighbours?”

Guy: “Yep. Where do you live?”

Me: “I already told you.”

Guy: “No, you didn’t.”

Me: “Yes, I did. Far away from you, hahaha.”

He leaves me on “seen” for twenty minutes and then comes back.

Guy: “Are you free tomorrow?”

Me: “I have work tomorrow.”

Guy: “What time?”

Me: “Nine to five.”

Guy: “We can meet up after five?”

Me: “I think you’re forgetting a little health crisis that’s going on these days. It’s also my mother’s birthday and I’m making dinner.”

Guy: “Okay. What about Monday?”

Me: “Again. Health crisis. I thought you wanted to meet up after it was over? Also, Monday is my birthday and I already have plans with my family.”

Guy: “My birthday is Tuesday. We can celebrate together. I have a party on Saturday. Do you want to come?”

Me: “Hahahaha.”

Guy: “What’s so funny?”

Me: “For the third time now. HEALTH CRISIS. And I have told you before that I am living with my parents who have illnesses that make them high-risk and a sister who has asthma and is also high-risk. I can’t put their lives at risk just for a night of partying. Do you understand?”

He leaves me on “seen” for ten minutes.

Guy: “Can you do Wednesday?”

This led to me moving his messages to the “ignore” section of my inbox and essentially ghosting him. This happened about a year ago, and yesterday I was scrolling through my ignored messages for the first time. He messaged me eight times with a “Hey,” or “How are you?” over the last ten months.

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A Lawful State Of Mind

, , , , , | Legal | May 31, 2021

My team at work wants to record audio from phone calls, and we have been sent to talk to the lawyers to make sure we do it right. We’re discussing this via video call.

Lawyer: “It’s state-by-state. Some require more warning than others.”

Coworker: “Okay, I gotta ask, I’m just curious. I’m in New York, but—”

He gets up and points the camera out the window. We’re now looking down on a river next to a forest.

Coworker: “—that’s Connecticut. I’m right on the border. If I start a call here and I’m recording you, but I toss the phone out across the border, do the laws of New York or the laws of Connecticut win out?”

Lawyer: “You’re on what, the sixth floor? On paper, Connecticut, but in reality, you’re still in the jurisdiction of physics.”

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Playing The Sympathy Card

, , , , | Friendly | CREDIT: miawdolan | May 29, 2021

About two or three weeks before Christmas, a lady posted a request on a public group asking if anyone was willing to send her a birthday card since she’s always lonely and sad on her birthday, which is shortly before Christmas. I’ve been in a bad financial situation, but I’ve been blessed by not being lonely, and I know how much it sucks, so I wanted to send this lady a really nice card and letter. I contacted her and she gave me her address. I bought a card, wrote what I thought was a nice and caring letter, and designed a little calligraphy. I also wrote that I would like to send her another card next year, hopefully with something else to give. I sent the card and was genuinely hoping that it’d at least make the lady feel a little less sad and lonely.

A few days ago, about a week and a half after her birthday, she sent me two messages. One said that she was doing very badly at the moment (not sure why), so she would be very happy if I would get her an additional birthday present.

The second message was an Amazon link.

As I said, I’ve been in a bad financial situation. The money I spent for the card and postage could’ve been my meal for a day or two. What this lady wanted was about twice as much. It wasn’t a lot of money but definitely enough to make me remove her from my contacts. I wonder if anyone else sent her a card and got the same message. And she never thanked me for the card — not that I was expecting that, but getting an additional request for a birthday present instead? A week and a half after it passed? Yeah, no.

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