The Internet Is Everything

, , , , , , | Right | August 21, 2019

(I work in tech support for an ISP.)

Customer: “Is the Internet down? I’m at [Location].”

Me: “I do not show any outage in that area. Are you currently connected to the Wi-Fi?”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know that? I can’t enter my PIN to log in.”

Me: “You are not able to log into your computer?”

Customer: “Yes, the Internet is not working, so when I type nothing happens.”

Me: “If you are unable to log into your computer, then I would recommend that you contact your computer manufacturer.”

Customer: “Are you sure you can’t give me some computer know-how and fix it for me?”

Me: “We supply Internet; we do not work on personal computers. You need to contact the manufacturer of the computer for assistance.”

Customer: “And what, talk to a bunch of [expletive] Indians? No, thanks!” *click*

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Supervising Customers In A Bad (Time) Frame Of Mind

, , , , | Right | April 29, 2019

(I work in customer service for a large furniture company. We offer delivery for a fee, and the route specifies that you will get a two-hour window for delivery after 4:30 the night before you’re scheduled. I should also mention that I am a supervisor in this department and only in the queue this day because we have several reps out of the office for a corporate event. This is a Tuesday morning.)

Me: *answering the phone* “[Furniture Company]; this is [My Name]. How can I be helpful?”

Customer: “I have a delivery for Friday, and I need to narrow the time down so I can schedule when I can sign papers with my bank.”

Me: *looks up his account to verify he is scheduled for Friday* “Okay, sir. I see we are delivering to [address] on Friday. I, unfortunately, won’t have that time frame until Thursday after 4:30 since that’s when our routes are set in place.”

Customer: “Just tell me the time frame today so I can schedule with my bank.”

Me: “Sir, if I gave you a time frame today, it would be wildly inaccurate, and therefore wouldn’t help your situation since it will change between now and Thursday when our time frames go out.”

Customer: “I need your supervisor, then.”

Me: “Sir, I am the supervisor in this department.”

Customer: “So, I’m just stuck talking to you, then?”

Me: “I’m afraid so, sir.”

(The customer hangs up and calls back into the queue less than one minute later, and it just so happens I take the call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Furniture Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I be helpful?”

Customer: “I need a supervisor!”

Me: “Okay, sir, I am the supervisor. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “ARE YOU ALL SUPERVISORS IN THERE OR WHAT? EVERY TIME I CALL IN I GET A D*** SUPERVISOR!”

Me: “Sir, I am the same woman you spoke with two minutes ago.”

Customer: *click*

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Ready… Set… Ready?

, , , , | Right | January 5, 2019

(I answer the phone at work and go through my normal spiel. The caller wants Accounts Payable.)

Me: “Sure. May I tell her who’s calling?”

Caller: “Yes.”

(Silence for a few seconds on from both of us. I’m about to repeat myself when…)

Caller: “Tell me when you’re ready.”

(Lady, I was ready when I asked the question!)

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Drive-Thru Staff Who Can’t Get Their Orders Right Get Into A Bit Of A Pickle

, , , , , | Working | December 4, 2018

(I live a couple minutes away from a locally-owned fast food joint. They’re somewhat renowned for subpar service, but the food is pretty good, so my husband and I put up with it. Since we’re both picky eaters, I’m obsessive about double-checking our order. I pull up to the drive-thru and order our usual.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like a number one, plain, with cheese, and a chocolate malt. And another number one, pickles only, no cheese, and a [soda].”

(The employee reads the order back perfectly, mirroring the correct order I see on the screen. I pull up to the window, pay, and check the order on the receipt. Everything is definitely correct. I get our food and drive home. We open our burgers, and neither is correct. His has cheese but tons of veggies — easy enough to fix. Mine, however, is dripping with even more mayo and ketchup than they typically use on burgers. I take mine back and run inside the restaurant, since the drive-thru is now packed.)

Me: *presents the burger and receipt* “Hi! I just went through the drive-thru, and when I got home I realized neither burger matched the receipt. One was salvageable, but I need this one replaced. Can I get a plain number one burger with pickles only?”

Employee: *starts punching buttons on register* “Okay, so just one burger with pickles…”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not going to pay for a new burger. I just need you to give me the burger I paid for in the first place.”

(The employee looks panicked, then runs over and whispers to a manager, who I recognize as the one who handed me my order at the drive-thru.)

Manager: “So, you want us to give you a free burger? You couldn’t eat this one?” *opens burger wrapper and waves the soggy burger at me*

Me: “I’m really sorry; I just can’t eat a burger dripping with sauces I hate. Can I just get the burger that’s listed here on the receipt?”

(The manager snatches the receipt out of my hand, and stomps back to kitchen. She returns a couple minutes later, and smirks at me as she hands me a bag.)

Manager: “There, one plain burger with pickles.”

(She literally ran back into the kitchen as I tried to thank her. I was really worried that someone had spit on my burger, but being pregnant, starving, and grateful that my burger was indeed completely covered in pickles, I decided it was a risk worth taking!)

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Unfiltered Story #122044

, , , | Unfiltered | September 22, 2018

I work at a popular ice-cream store, and am currently taking a woman’s order at the drive through.

Me: “Welcome to [Ice-cream store], how may I help you?”

Woman: “I’d like a medium brownie shake.”

Our store doesn’t carry any ice-cream flavors with brownie in it. I inform her of this.

Woman: “No, I want a brownie shake.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we don’t have any flavors with brownies in them. Could I get you a different flavor instead, like [flavor]?”

Woman: “I said I wanted a brownie shake, how hard is that to understand?”

Me: “I… I’m sorry ma’am, but we don’t have any flavors with brownies in them…”

Woman: “Can’t you just add brownies to the shake?”

Our manager made it clear to us a while ago that we weren’t allowed to add anything to shakes that wasn’t already on the list of pre-approved items. Brownies are not on that list. Again, I inform her that I’m unable to do what she wants.

Woman: “Are you ******* kidding me? I’m a customer! Can’t you find some way to just add it for me!?”

My manager, who had been listening in, overrides me and speaks to the customer. We’ve already had several troublesome customers, and the manager is fed up at this point.

Manager: “We can’t do what you’re asking because we have no way of ringing in the price of the brownies. Please order from one of the flavors we do have.”

Woman: “But I’m a customer, you have to find a way to serve me!”

Manager: “What you’re asking is impossible, we can’t do that. Like I said, we have no way of ringing the extra price of the brownies in.”

Woman: “But I want a brownie shake!”

The manager tells me to offer the woman [flavor] or [flavor], which are similar to what the customer wants, and washes his hands of the situation before he losses his temper.

Me: “Because we can’t make the shake you wanted, would you like to switch your order to [flavor] or [flavor] instead?”

Woman: “No! If I wanted [flavor] or [flavor], I would have asked for it!”

I’m completely unsure of what to do- I’ve never had a customer so set on one impossible to make shake with such determination before. Not wishing to anger her even more, I decide to play it safe by simply staying silent. After a couple minutes of incoherent muttering, the woman finally speaks.

Woman: “…I’ll take [flavor].”

I ring her order up and greet her at the window, accepting her money and giving her her recipt. She doesn’t pull ahead, instead leaning towards me.

Woman: “Why the **** doesn’t your store carry anything with brownies in it!? If customers want brownies, you should ******* have to add a flavor with brownies to your menu! I’m a customer, you should ******* have what I ******* want!”

Me: “I don’t have any say in what flavors we have, ma’am- I just work the drive through.”

The woman huffs and drives ahead to get her shake. After she leaves, my fellow employees, who have heard everything, jokingly insist that I add brownies to every order with shakes in it that I take afterwards.