No Soda Is Worth That Much Math

I live in Oklahoma, and those of us in the south know that [Discount Variety Store] locations exist about every two miles, regardless of whether you’re in the middle of the city or the middle of the desert. (At least, it feels that way.)

In a recent [Store] ad, they had a “buy two, get one free” deal for twelve-packs of Coke products. Then, when I get to the store, on the shelf, there’s the local sticker that says they are two for $14. Cool, with the buy-two deal, that’s thirty-six cans for $14, instead of thirty-five for $18 at [Warehouse Store].

I buy Coke for both home and the office, so when it’s on sale like this, I like to get quite a bit. I load nine of the twelve packs into my cart and go to the register.

Now, here in Oklahoma, grocery items ARE taxable. The clerk rings them up and tells me the total is (rounding) $52.

Uh, no.

Me: “These are on sale; buy two, get one free. Two for fourteen times three is $42, plus tax, so about $46.”

The clerk is confused and calls the store manager. They have to shut the register down, and the manager has to go into the office and calculate just exactly how things are screwed up.

Manager: “Okay. The register is only giving you a $2.65 discount on each pack instead of what I think should be a $2.95 discount, times nine packs, and it is ringing them at $7.95 minus the $2.95.”

Me: “Um, no, that means you’re still charging too much, because it means you’re charging $5 per case, or $45 plus tax, instead of $42.”

She did finally get it right, and I apologized, saying I just didn’t want to be one of THOSE customers, but it’s fairly simple math. And I was doing it all in my head because I learned HOW to do simple math in my head and not be dependent upon a calculator about fifty-five years ago.