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Pride Goeth Before A Sale

, , | Right | March 25, 2009

(Whenever the store was getting ready to discontinue something they would reduce the price to a penny before throwing it away. I was ringing up a customer’s order and he had several little bags of screws that were being discontinued.)

Me: “All right, that’ll be $10.95.”

Customer: “Why is it so much cheaper than yesterday?”

Me: “Oh, those screws are being discontinued so they brought the price down.”

Customer: “What? Do you think I can’t afford them?”

Me: “Uh, no, sir?”

Customer: “I don’t need your help! I want to buy them at the regular price!”

Me: “Uh, they brought the price down automatically in the system, sir. I can’t raise the price myself.”

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager!”

(I called the manager, and he spent ten minutes trying to reason with the man before he gave up and raised the price for him. Turns out the screws were only 36 cents a bag at the regular price.)


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You Get Who You Pay For

, , , | Right | March 20, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to dispute a charge on my bill.”

Me: “Yes, certainly. Which charge would you like to dispute?”

Customer: “There should be a charge on February 22nd for $2000.”

Me: “The one for ‘Gentlemen’s Club’?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s the one I’d like to dispute.”

Me: “And what’s the reason for the dispute?”

Customer: “…do you need to know?”

Me: “Without a reason, we cannot submit a proper dispute.”

Customer: “Um… okay, well, it was a business trip… and, um… I wanted to hire… um… an escort for a client. Not for me, for a client! For the night. And we weren’t pleased with her, um, services. Which isn’t to say that she didn’t provide services! I’m just saying that it wasn’t the service we… well, the service we… It wasn’t what we expected.”

Me: “…all right. I’ll transfer you to our disputes department for further assistance.”

America’s Debt Crisis Explained, Part 2

, , , | Right | March 19, 2009

Customer: “Um, this sign out here says $5.98 for a pound of turkey.”

Me: “Well, sir, if you look at your sticker, you’ll see that it is actually $3.98 a pound this week.”

Customer: “But, it says that it’s $5.98 a pound. You need to fix this, and you need to fix the price on my turkey.”

Me: “Sir, the turkey is on sale this week. You got it for $3.98 a pound, instead of $5.98.”

Customer: “Well, this is just ridiculous. You guys need to get your act straight, and you need to fix my sticker!”

Me: “You’re getting it for cheaper.”

Customer: *light bulb goes on* “Ohhhhhhh!”

Taking The Supersizing Thing Too Far

, , | Right | March 11, 2009

(A customer is withdrawing several hundred dollars in cash.)

Me: “So, how would you like the cash today?”

Customer: “Um, I’ll take it all in the largest bills you have.”

Me: “So, hundreds, then?”

Customer: “Yeah, a few hundreds, and then some 500 and 1000 dollar bills as well.”

Me: “Oh, the largest denomination we have is hundreds…”

Customer: “You see, this is exactly the type of thing that makes me not want to bank with you guys!”

It’s All In The Wrist

, , , | Right | March 10, 2009

Me: “Okay, will that be everything for you? For here or to go?”

Customer: “Here.”

Me: “That will be $8.42.”

(The customer pulls out a $1 bill and slaps it on the table.)

Customer: “Wham!”

Me: *blank stare*

(The customer’s girlfriend starts cracking up.)

Customer: “Oh. whoops! Let’s try that one again…” *pulls out a $10 bill* “Wham!”