CEO: “Hi, [My Name], we wanted to talk to you in person (over the phone) to resolve the question of payment.”

Me: “Okay.”

CEO: “Let’s forget all of the stuff that has gone on in the past with this project. Let me put [Accountant] on the phone.”

Accountant: “What we’d like to do is offer to pay [amount] for the project. Based on what you billed us, we think [amount] is a fair amount, minus what we’ve already paid you, minus the recruiter fee.”

Me: “So, you’re ‘offering’ to pay me half of what is still owed on the bill for the work you hired me to do.”

Accountant: “Well, based on the total cost we’re willing to pay, minus the recruiter fee…”

Me: “A simple yes or no will suffice. If you owe me [total] and are ‘willing’ to pay [amount], if my math is correct, and I believe it is — I can redo it on my calculator if you’d like — you’re ‘willing’ to pay me half. Even though I rushed the work and everyone was thrilled with it.”

CEO: “Well… yes, I guess, you could say that is half…”

Me: “I do.”

CEO: “Look, I’m sure you just want to put this behind you—”

Me: “Actually, no. I want to be paid in full.”

CEO: “Well, this is all we’re willing to pay.”

Me: “You know you signed a contract, right?”

Accountant: “Well, we’ve had several conversations via email and in person about this—”

Me: “Yes, in each, you tried to weasel your way out of paying me.”

CEO: “I think this is a fair compromise.”

Me: “I think you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.”

This conversation occurred after receiving a retainer check that was $1,000 short of the agreed-upon amount and had a post-it note stuck to it informing me that they had decided to pay me in cash.

Client: “We decided to pay you in cash, which means that we can have a 20% to 30% discount on your services.”

Me: “How so?”

Client: “Well, since you won’t report the income, that will save you money. We figure that you’re in a 30% tax bracket, so we can certainly reduce your fee by that amount as you would be making more money.”

Me: “That’s not how it works.”

Client: “Oh, yes, it is.”

Me: “Um, I am not in the practice of giving cash discounts. Plus, you just sent me a check.”

Client: “You mean you won’t do this?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “So, you’re trying to rip me off?”

Me: “You were the one who decided to pay cash and decided that you were getting the discount.”

Client: *Yelling* “Okay, fine! Forget we ever had this conversation!” *Hangs up on me*

This took place a few years ago at a bar and grill I worked at. When I came up to a booth on a slow day, there was a woman in her forties looking through a menu. The two other customers were a woman in her twenties who seemed a bit sad and nervous and a small girl who I would guess was under ten years old and seemed rather frightened and fidgety. The older woman’s clothes were neat and tidy, whereas the younger woman and the little girl were wearing ill-fitting clothes and the younger girl’s hair was messy.

Older Woman: “I would like [Meal Option].”

Me: *To the younger woman* “And for you?”

The younger woman mumbled her order, staring at my order pad.

Older Woman: “Can we also have three iced teas, please?”

Me: *Looking at the little girl* “And for you?”

The little girl curled up in her seat in a failed attempt to look smaller, blinking fast.

Girl: *In a quiet voice* “I would like a [Children’s Meal], please.”

Older Woman: “And [Side].”

I served the three of them and all seemed well, with the younger woman saying “please” and “thank you” and even coming over to the bar with an empty glass when she finished her drink. The little girl didn’t say anything despite the older woman talking nineteen to the dozen.

When they had finished, I went to get their bill, and I hear cutlery dropping to the floor. The three of them had run out without paying.

I felt terrible. Not only was I now out on fifty dollars but the manager shouted at me for it. I remembered this incident when I recognized the woman in the newspaper a couple of years later when she was arrested.

I worked for a tax preparation office. [Owner] owned four offices. I was typically located in the smallest office, but occasionally, I was placed in a bigger office when they were short-handed.

One such short-handing was rather unusual in nature. [Manager] ran the largest of [Owner]’s offices.

One day, he requested me — or rather he requested “all of our first-years who look good in a suit”, and that included me. Why? To pretend to be lawyers.

One of his senior workers had made a very serious error in a tax return. Somehow, not only was the money directed to the wrong bank, but when the IRS sent the money, the wrong bank kept the money and put it into the account of an unrelated third party.

This created an enormous legal mess. The IRS is NOT supposed to put money in an account without your name on it. There’s a lot that went wrong here.

This turned into meetings of clusters of lawyers — lawyers for the client, for the bank that actually got the money, for the bank that was supposed to get the money, and for the US government.

[Manager] felt… underrepresented. So, he had all of the first-years who looked good in suits dress up like lawyers and hold empty briefcases. There were three of us that he selected: two men and one woman. We were told to stand next to him and keep our mouths shut.

In truth, we didn’t have to do anything. [Manager] had almost no part to play in the event, simply answering about five questions while everyone else argued.

But that was the time I had to be a fake lawyer for my employer.

I work at a chick hatchery and incubation facility. On a Friday, my boss pulls me aside.

Boss: “You’re on holiday starting next week, for two weeks.”

Me: “Erm… I wanted to use those two weeks during summer with my family.”

Boss: “Nope, it has to be done now as it will be too busy then.”

My brother has been inviting me to his workplace, so I start the following Monday. Two weeks later, I call on Sunday to talk to [Boss].

Me: “I’ve found another job paying 40% more for fewer hours. I’m not coming in ever again.”

Boss: “But you gave us no notice!”

Me: “You got the same notice I got for my holidays.”

One month was the required notice I was supposed to give.

During my interview, [Boss] had told me the starting and finish times. So far, so good. Then, when I was signing the contract, the daily hours were less by an hour and thirty minutes.

[Boss] was using a government incentive for new businesses where he’d get a contribution toward the employee’s wages if they worked less than eight hours per day. Well, he was screwing us, and I kept records.

When legal threats came saying I owed the company a month’s wages, I replied with records showing they owed me that much plus two weeks. I never heard from them again.