There’s No Accounting For Some Unscrupulous Clients And Their Accountants

CEO: “Hi, [My Name], we wanted to talk to you in person (over the phone) to resolve the question of payment.”

Me: “Okay.”

CEO: “Let’s forget all of the stuff that has gone on in the past with this project. Let me put [Accountant] on the phone.”

Accountant: “What we’d like to do is offer to pay [amount] for the project. Based on what you billed us, we think [amount] is a fair amount, minus what we’ve already paid you, minus the recruiter fee.”

Me: “So, you’re ‘offering’ to pay me half of what is still owed on the bill for the work you hired me to do.”

Accountant: “Well, based on the total cost we’re willing to pay, minus the recruiter fee…”

Me: “A simple yes or no will suffice. If you owe me [total] and are ‘willing’ to pay [amount], if my math is correct, and I believe it is — I can redo it on my calculator if you’d like — you’re ‘willing’ to pay me half. Even though I rushed the work and everyone was thrilled with it.”

CEO: “Well… yes, I guess, you could say that is half…”

Me: “I do.”

CEO: “Look, I’m sure you just want to put this behind you—”

Me: “Actually, no. I want to be paid in full.”

CEO: “Well, this is all we’re willing to pay.”

Me: “You know you signed a contract, right?”

Accountant: “Well, we’ve had several conversations via email and in person about this—”

Me: “Yes, in each, you tried to weasel your way out of paying me.”

CEO: “I think this is a fair compromise.”

Me: “I think you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.”