Pre-Disorder

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2018

(I work for a video game company doing technical support. Our customers are quick to complain, and as you can imagine, they can be particularly difficult, and often do not think twice about demanding… well, anything.)

Customer: ”I didn’t receive my pre-order bonus items; where are they?!”

Me: ”I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Did you pre-order the game?”

Customer: ”I bought it on the day of release.”

Me: ”Okay, sir, I’m afraid you need to have pre-ordered the game to receive the pre-order bonus items.”

Customer: ”BUT I WANT THEM! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF I WANT THEM?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s nothing I can do if you didn’t pre-order the items that are pre-order only.”

Customer: ”Thanks for nothing. This is the worst service I have ever received!”

(The customer hung up the phone and sent several abusive messages to us afterwards. I was just surprised that he didn’t understand that you had to pre-order to gain pre-order items.)

No Cell Service Locks You In A “Cell”

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2018

(I work in customer service for a phone and Internet company. I get a call from a customer who is moving his service from one address to another.)

Customer: “I have an appointment today for this morning. Could you please have the tech call me on my cell about 15 minutes before he comes out? It will only take us about 15 minutes to drive home and meet him. But see, the thing is, I am in an area with no cell service. I had to drive all the way into town just to call you.”

Me: “Sure, we can certainly try to call you when we are on our way out; however, what if we call and are unable to reach you?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, you stated that you are in an area with no cell service. What would you like us to do if we call and are unable to reach you?”

Customer: “FINE! I will just sit here and wait for the tech to show up. You know, this is really poor customer service.”

(I didn’t say anything in response, as it would have been unproductive. I sent the information to the tech as requested by the customer. Not sure what happened after that.)

Should Know Their Elevation Station

, , , , , | Friendly | August 18, 2018

(I have a chronic illness which, sparing some of the grosser details, makes it extremely painful for me to walk when it flares up. Stairs are an outright no when this happens. One bad day while waiting for an elevator, the following occurs on the second floor of a building.)

Woman: “Hey! Are you all going up or down?”

Me: “Down.”

Woman: “Then you should just take the stairs! Don’t you know that elevators are for the disabled, elderly, and people in a rush?”

(Keep telling yourself that, lady.)

Book Driving To A Good Place… Eventually

, , , , , | Hopeless | August 17, 2018

Me: “And would you like to purchase a book to donate to our holiday book drive?”

Customer #1: “Who’s getting them?”

Me: “The heart unit of [Local Children’s Hospital].”

Customer #1: “Oh, no, thanks. I mean, if it were [Cancer], I’d donate, but not just for that.”

Me: “Um… Okay. Have a nice day!”

([Customer #2] comes up.)

Me: “And would you like to–”

Customer #2: “GOD, NO! I just want to buy my stuff and get out of here, and not have you people trying to swindle me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am required to ask these questions, and the books are going to the [Children’s Hospital]…”

Customer #2: “Not my problem. Just give me my receipt.”

Me: “Here you are. Have a nice day.”

Customer #2: “Shut up.”

(I just kind of stand there in shock for a minute until my next customer comes up. They have a basket full of books, and two giant deluxe-edition board games. I start ringing them up.)

Me: *kind of anxiously* “And would you be interested in donating?”

Customer #3: “Absolutely. I’d like to donate these books, and if you’d like to pick out five or six more from the display behind you, since I don’t really know what the kids are reading these days?”

Me: “Thank you; that’s very generous!”

Customer #3: “I heard those other two. Who thinks like that at Christmas? I want to donate these games, too, if you’re allowed to take them.”

Me: “That shouldn’t be a problem. Again, thank you!”

(Years later, I still remember that customer. Thank you for being the anti-Grinch!)

Not All Sweet In The Land Of Chocolate

, , , | Right | August 17, 2018

(I work in a chocolate store. It is a very busy day, and no one is in a line, so I have to just keep an eye as to who is standing there longer. A customer comes up to the register.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I need sixty pieces of chocolate. I just let three people go in front of me so, I need this done now.”

Me: “Thank you for being so patient.”

Customer #1: “Is it cheaper to have it pre-packaged?”

Me: “Yes, depending on what you’re looking for.”

Customer #1: “Okay, I’ll be right back!”

(The customer leaves, and another one comes up.)

Customer #2: “Sorry, I know she’s going to take a while, and I’m only here for one small scoop.”

(The first customer is taking a bit, and it will only take me ten seconds to do the scoop and ring the second customer in, so I do her order quickly. The first customer comes back and sees me serving her.)

Customer: “What the f***?! I let three people go in front of me! You’re supposed to serve me! Not her! Not anyone else! That’s so rude! You’re the rudest person I ever met! I’m leaving! I’ll be back!”

(I ignore the customer and continue to serve the second customer. The first customer leaves. I finish serving the second customer and everyone else. Eventually, the second customer comes back and apologizes. I tell her it isn’t her fault. It gets late and soon it is five minutes to closing. Lo and behold, the original customer comes back.)

Customer #1: “That was the rudest thing I ever seen! If there was any other chocolate store in the mall, I would’ve gone there and not here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I didn’t know how long you would be.”

Customer #1: “Well, I need the chocolate now, so now what?”

(I show her what deals we have and she continues to yell at me, but she makes up her mind and I ring her in. It is now fifteen minutes past closing. I’m still smiling, even though it’s the last thing I want to do.)

Customer #1: “Oh, and I want an ice cream.”

(I scoop her ice cream as calmly as I can.)

Me: “Here, I’ll give it to you for free.”

(I’m not supposed to do this, but I figure it will make her feel better.)

Customer #1: “I don’t want that. I just want my chocolate and ice cream, and to get out.”

(I ring her in and bag her things.)

Customer #1: “I’m not coming back here again.”

(She left. I’ve always wondered if it was my fault, [Customer #1]’s, or [Customer #2]’s. I think we all share blame, but looking back, I’m proud of how calmly I handled myself, to keep a smile on my face despite her yelling at me).

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