I am a delivery driver for a restaurant. Last Sunday was a very busy night, and this was the last delivery before closing. I arrived at the destination — a three-level apartment building, most likely without a lift — called the customer, and waited at the main door.

Normally, when someone pays by transfer, my coworker either marks it in my order sheet or tells me vocally, or, if she is busy, I check personally at the computer if the payment was made. If none of that happens, I tell the customer the price of their order, and if they say that they have paid by transfer, I ask them to show me proof of the payment. The owner of the restaurant has been adamant about this, even if it’s someone she or I know well. That is because a “friend” of hers (who is also an acquaintance of mine through a cousin) orders delivery quite often and has this bad habit of “forgetting” to transfer the money until closure, and I trusted him because “you wouldn’t be stingy with your own friend, would you?” My boss warned me that the next time it happened, with him or anyone else, it would be on my salary, so I’ve been very meticulous with that ever since.

As I didn’t have any idea whether this customer had paid by transfer, and it being a busy night, I didn’t have time to check the messages on the computer to confirm that she had sent any proof of transfer, I assumed that she was going to pay by cash. So, when she came to answer the door, I greeted her and told her the price. She said that she had paid by transfer, and naturally, I asked her to see the proof.

Customer: *Whining* “Now I have to go all the way back up to my place to my phone. Don’t they inform you when someone pays by transfer?”

Me: “They do, but sometimes they forget or I’m too busy to check it myself. Should that happen, my boss insists that I ask to see the proof of transfer.”

Then, I told her that it was okay and to enjoy her food, and I left.

When I got back to the restaurant, my coworker told me that the customer had sent a message complaining that I was trying to scam her by charging twice for her meal (implying that I would keep that money for myself) and that I should be told off and be closely watched from now on. I don’t like to be labeled as a thief for trying to do my job as best as I can, and I was about to call her from my phone, but my coworker stopped me.

Luckily, I’ve been working there for more than two years, and the owner knows my way of doing things, so she didn’t say anything. But if it had been when I’d just started working, something like that would have risked my job.

My friends and I are at the local shopping mall, walking around and what have you. As a jovial bunch of fellas, we’re moving throughout the mall at a pretty steady clip. When we come to an escalator to move down a floor, we start walking down it. There are a couple of people on the escalator that we squeeze past, offering a polite “Excuse me” as we go. My friends make it down to the floor without incident, and I move to follow them, attempting to move around an older woman and what I’m assuming are her two adult children, a man and a woman.

Me: “Excuse me—”

Suddenly, the woman violently thrusts her arm out to block my passage.

Woman: “DON’T YOU WALK IN FRONT OF ME, LITTLE BOY!”

For the record, I am a college sophomore, so I don’t know why she called me that.

Anyway, swiftly realizing I’m not getting past Guardian Grandma, I take a step back up the escalator and just wait. As we’re waiting, her daughter sneers at me.

Daughter: “He looks like a wimp, Momma! I bet I could beat him up, Momma! Want me to beat him up, Momma?”

The older woman said nothing but continued to fix me a steely gaze until we reached the bottom, after which, they all walked off without further hostilities.

I’ll concede that walking down the escalator is perhaps a bit rude, but that seems to me like a bit of an overreaction. Plus, my two friends passed by them without any comment, but I haven’t a clue why I wasn’t permitted passage into Guardian Grandma’s realm.

We have a coworker who recently coloured her hair green. It looks amazing, and we’ve all told her so. Sadly, not all customers agree.

Customer: “Why did you make your hair look so hideous?”

Coworker: “My hair is done how I like it, thanks, and I’d ask you not to make negative comments about something that has no impact on my ability to serve you as a customer.”

Customer: “It’s just… you must have disappointed your mother so much when you did that to your hair.”

Coworker: “Who and how I disappoint people is my business and not yours, ma’am. Now, can I help you find anything specific today?”

Customer: “Such a disappointment. I tried to help all my daughters from being disappointing like you, but they didn’t listen. I should have just gotten a dog and lived a peaceful life.”

Coworker: “If you had a dog, even they would be disappointed in you.”

That did not go down well. My coworker was written up for it, but to this day, she says it was worth it, especially since that customer never came back… How disappointing.

Customer: “I came by yesterday to pick up my glasses, and you were closed!”

Me: “Yes, we had to close due to an emergency yesterday.”

Customer: “Well, that’s very inconvenient! I drove all this way!”

Me: “Ma’am, there was a tornado warning yesterday, and it actually struck the other side of the mall.”

Customer: “Yes, that side of the mall is closed, which is also very inconvenient! You should let your customers know when you’re closing!”

Me: “Wait… You drove in yesterday during a storm, and a tornado warning?!”

Customer: “I needed my glasses!”

Me: “Clearly!” 

Related:
Weathering Bad Customers

I am checking out the items of an older woman with her young grandson. Two younger women are in the line behind them, and from how they’re talking and their body language, it’s obvious they’re a couple.

Younger Woman #1: “Oh, honey! We forgot the butter!”

Younger Woman #2: “Oh, crap! You’re right! Can you run back and grab some? Love you forever!”

One of them runs back to get their forgotten butter, and the little boy grabs his grandmother’s attention.

Boy: “Grandma! That lady called that other lady ‘honey’! But I thought only daddies called mommies that!”

Grandma: “Well… maybe Honey is actually her name.”

The younger woman comes back with the butter, and they go back to waiting, but now they’re holding hands.

Boy: “Grandma! That lady is holding hands with the other lady! I thought only daddies held hands with mommies?”

Grandma: *To me, pleadingly* “Look, could you hurry it up?!”

I try to hurry, but she’s getting a lot of items, and my bagger can also only go so fast.

Boy: “Grandma! Why are they holding hands?”

Grandma: “[Boy]! Mind your own business! Maybe they’re just sisters!”

At this point, one of the younger women has said something cute to the other, and they laugh and share a quick peck on the lips.

Boy: “Grandma! I don’t kiss my sister like that!”

I snort in an attempt to hold back a laugh.

Grandma: *To me* “This wouldn’t have happened if you’d just hurried up!” *To the women* “And you! Thanks to you, my grandson is going to be full of questions! Now I have to tell him about all the sinners in the world and ruin his innocence! You did that!”

Younger Woman #1: “Lady, if you think healthy expressions of love will ruin his innocence, then you’re damaging him far more than we ever will.”

Me: “Ma’am, your total is $221.54.”

Grandma: *To me* “About f****** time!”

She paid and stormed off with her poor confused grandchild.