Another Day, Another Mouth-Breather

, , , , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I’m at the eye doctor waiting to be called when a guy comes in and loudly announces: 

Customer: “I guess I have to put on the face diaper.”

He puts on the mask but forgets to cover his nose.

Receptionist: “Please cover your nose.”

Customer: “I guess y’all don’t want me to be able to breathe. 666, a new world order is coming.”

He left without even letting them know what it was he needed.

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This Customer Is A Wild Ride

, , , | Right | March 30, 2021

I’m working in an optical store in a shopping centre when a lady comes in looking at glasses.

A few minutes later, a kid rides in on his bike, talks to the lady — obviously his mother — and rides the bike around the displays in the store. I approach them.

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t have a bike in the store or inside the shopping centre. I’ll have to ask that your son keeps his bike outside. Otherwise, is there anything I can help with?”

The lady glares at me and replies snarkily.

Customer: “Well, not anymore!”

She stormed off, even taking the time to look back over her shoulder to give me a look that would boil steel.

Who’d have thought that an optometry store doesn’t double as a BMX track?

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That Is Sew Amazing

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2021

My mom and I are on vacation. The left leg of my glasses falls off, and we search in vain for the tiny screw to put them back together. We don’t find it, and as I have to have them to see with, she SEWS the leg back on.

Later on, we take them to the local eyeglass store to get them fixed. It takes them an hour, which is fine by me.

When we are picking them up, the eye doctor who was working says this to me:

Eye Doctor: “I have seen them fixed with wire, straight pins, etc., but this is the first time I have seen a leg sewn on to glasses. Whoever did this should have been a surgeon, as it was done so neat that I had a hard time getting the thread loose.”

She had sewed the leg back on by taking the needle through the small holes on both sides of the hinge on the left side. I still have those frames and I am still wearing them over five years later.

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Ask Your Optician If Night Vision Is Right For You

, , , | Healthy | February 20, 2021

I work in an optician’s office and we have a patient come in saying that they can’t see through the glasses they recently bought.

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Patient: “I have a problem with these glasses; my vision isn’t clear at night.”

Me: “Oh, and how about day time? Are you having problems with reading or distance?”

Patient: “My vision is fine during the day, but everything is dark at night and when I drive through a tunnel.”

Me: “Does your vision get blurry?”

Patient: “No, you’re not understanding. I can’t see far at night with these glasses! Everything is dark! It’s fine during the day, but when it’s dark, I can’t see everything clearly.”

My colleague heard this conversation and quickly jumped in. She had to explain that vision is limited for everyone at night because it’s dark, and no one has night vision. The prescription was fine and we had the health of his eyes checked out, which came out all clear.

It’s been five years but I still think about that man.

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Some People Are Just Born For It

, , , , , | Healthy | February 19, 2021

When my nan was still alive, she had a doctor that she had been going to for many years. He was a nice bloke, friendly, and competent at his job.

His name? Doctor Seewright.

His occupation? Optometrist.

You can’t make this stuff up.

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