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A New Pet Hate

, , , , , , | Right | March 12, 2024

I work in an animal rescue and adoption center next door to a large grocery store and big box retail complex. It’s common for families shopping with their kids to come by and look at the dogs in the windows, especially puppies!

A woman shopping with her two young boys actually steps into the center.

Woman: “Can my boys go and play with the puppies?”

Me: “Well, they can definitely come and watch them, but we try to reserve interactions for potential adopters, and we have a few scheduled in the next few minutes.”

Woman: “Adopters? What do you mean?”

Me: “People coming in to potentially adopt one of the animals.”

Woman: “Adopt the animals? How stupid! Why would you let them do that?”

Me: “We’re here to make sure the animals go to good homes, ma’am.”

Woman: “But then how do my kids get to play with the puppies?”

Me: “This is an animal rescue, ma’am, not a petting zoo.”

Woman: “You shouldn’t have puppies on display if you’re not going to let my kids play with them! Now I have to deal with them whining all afternoon, and I’ll have to buy them ice cream or something to shut them up! If they get diabetes it’s all your fault!”

She told the kids that the “nasty lady” wouldn’t let them play. They proceeded to cry and throw a tantrum and kick some chairs and displays as they were dragged out — further cementing how glad I was that I didn’t let them anywhere near the puppies!

One Person’s “Critical” Versus Another’s

, , , , , | Right | March 12, 2024

I notified a client three times that I would be away for the week following my wife’s surgery, beginning two months prior to the surgery, and one last time the week before. Each time, he sounded surprised but just as concerned about her health.

Imagine my surprise on the morning of the second day of my wife’s convalescence.

Client: “Are you there? My contact’s really anxious to get their site moving. Can you get started on provisioning the server?”

Me: “No. I’m not available for at least five more days.”

Client: “What? This is critical for me!”

Me: “My wife’s on Vicodin, and the baby’s teething.”

Client: “So, by tonight, at least?”

Client: “Hello?”

When The Fussy Toddler Is Better Behaved Than The Adults

, , , , , , , , | Right | March 12, 2024

My wife and I traveled to Montreal, arriving on a Sunday evening. The city shuts down fairly early on Sundays (most places anyway), and that included the dining room in our hotel. Fortunately, the hotel knew of a small cafe a short walk away that they thought would still be open, but, “Don’t delay… Go now!”

We got there, and the cafe was open, but the manager advised us that they would close in an hour.

Manager: “In Canada, that means lights off, doors locked, kitchen and dining room closed, and employees on their way home. Given that, we can’t make all the items on our menu, but if you allow it, I can recommend some great options.”

Me: “Of course!”

We then observed a couple with a young child at one table, and at a second table, another couple about our age. We sat down after accepting the manager’s suggestion for dinner.

The young child was a bit antsy — not surprising for it being a bit late for his age, which I guessed to be around three or four. He wasn’t particularly loud, but he was a bit whiny, and he did get up and wander a bit.

That is when the woman of the younger couple said loudly:

Young Woman: “You’d think they could control that child.”

The comments escalated from there. The young man at one point said:

Young Man: “I’d have had him outside and over my knee long before this.”

A little while later, their server went over and whispered something to them. We couldn’t hear that, but we heard the young man boom out:

Young Man:We are not the problem. They and that out-of-control child are! Either they — or you — get a handle on that child or throw them out!”

There was a little back-and-forth, and then the young woman loudly demanded:

Young Woman: “Give us the phone number to CPS! I’m going to call them right now!”

All this time, the manager and the server kept casting nervous glances at my wife and me. Then, the chef appeared in the kitchen doorway. He was a little short guy. None of them would be a match for the loudmouth guy judging by size alone.

I was small but fit; my wife was also small but fit, a one-time fitness instructor who also had training in martial arts. I think the manager sensed that if we sided with them, we’d quickly gain the upper hand. Still, as a person with manners, he had not yet called the police — amazing restraint on his part.

Finally, he worked up the courage, walked up to their table, and demanded:

Manager: “Leave now or I’ll call the police.”

He looked at us. We both gave him a thumbs-up and, with that, he said once more, with full resolve:

Manager: “OUT… NOW!”

The couple got up and headed toward the door. Then, the manager pointed out that there was still the small matter of the tab to settle or they’d face jail for sure.

They paid, fuming all the way, and left.

He then approached us with a quiet thanks and glasses of wine on the house.

Making A Boob Of One’s Self, Part 14

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2024

It’s the summer of 2017. I’ve not even been working my library job for a year. We are so busy in summer at this time that we have a third person working desk. I’m that third person.

I’m helping people like normal when this lady stomps inside screaming, sweat drops sliding down her everywhere.

Patron: “Y’all stole my phone!”

I check around the desk to see if anyone has turned in a phone, but I don’t see one. She’s red in the face, screaming.

Patron: “I’m gonna call the police! Give me back my phone!”

Suddenly, a solution appears.

Me: “Ma’am, I think I know where your phone is.”

Patron: “What?! Where?! How?!”

Me: “Your boob is ringing.”

Yep. Her phone had slipped into her bra to be under her boob. I have no clue how she didn’t hear it.

When she left, my manager said she was surprised I handled being screamed at like that, and she made a joke about being glad the phone wasn’t on vibrate.

Related:
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 13
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 12
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 11
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 10
Making A Boob Of One Self, Part 9

We Won’t Even Meat Her Half Way

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2024

A woman butts her way to the front of the line at the meat counter with two pre-packaged bone-in steaks and two filets.

Customer: “You! Meat boy! Unwrap them and cut off the bones! And make sure you get rid of every last bit of outside fat because I shouldn’t have to pay for the parts I’m not eating!”

Me: “Ma’am, those are pre-packaged and—”

Customer: *Ignoring me* “And then rewrap, reweigh, and reprice them based on new weight!”

Me: “I will not be doing that. They are sold as-is.”

Customer: “I will not be paying for things I don’t eat!”

Me: “Meat boy says no. Pay for the package or leave.”