I am a fairly new cashier at a chain charity store. I am at the register when an older lady wearing nice clothing walks up.

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

The customer places four stuffed animals down and ignores me. I ring up her purchase.

Me: “All right, your total today is $2.”

Customer: “Isn’t there a senior citizens discount?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t believe there is. I can ask a manager, just to be sure, if you’d like?”

Customer: “Yeah, you do that!”

I call the manager up front and ask. The manager tells us both that there is no discount.

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I read [Random Magazine] and it said there was a senior discount!”

Manager: “It might be for a different chain. We’re not affiliated with ones in different states or even the ones in [City two hours away].”

Customer: “This is bulls***. All your stores should be the same. The magazine said there was a senior discount. I’m never shopping here again.”

She storms out. The manager mouths, “F*** you,” at her as she leaves.

Me: “Do you know you’re my favorite manager?”

Related:
Having A Senior Moment, Part 3
Having A Senior Moment, Part 2
Having A Senior Moment

I’m a manager at a place where the food is made right next to the ordering station. Whoever the first person on the “make line” is can usually hear the customer ordering, as well as the current cashier. How the ordering system works is that you start with a predefined item and then modify it from there. One of our items is a fairly simple sandwich: mayo, lettuce, tomato, ham, and cheese.

A customer comes up. I’ve had issues with them being argumentative before.

Customer: “I want [sandwich] with mayo, lettuce, ham, and cheese.”

Cashier: “So, no tomato?”

This is a valid clarification to ask for since some customers can’t seem to grasp the idea of looking at a menu to know what all is on there.

Customer: “Well, that comes on the sandwich, right? So, yes, of course, I want it. Are you stupid?”

After this, a small back-and-forth ensues between the two. The person on the register is trying to explain that tomato is something he did NOT list and they were simply making sure.

The customer becomes more irate, places his hand forcefully down on the counter, and raises his voice.

Customer: “All I want on it is mayo, lettuce, ham, and cheese. Got it?”

Again, no mention of the tomato. Listening to this go on, I lean over and talk to the man.

Me: “So… Do you want the tomato, or not?”

At this, the customer practically goes on a tirade.

Customer: “You’re all idiots! Of course, I want tomato! It’s already included on the sandwich. Why would I not want it?”

After a bit more raising his voice and complaining, he storms to the door and turns to us.

Customer: “You’re all b****es.”

And he walked out.

It is the middle of our back-to-school season, and I recently acquired a second job teaching Sunday School at a local synagogue. I am nearing the end of a transaction with a customer, who is purchasing several of our weekly sale items.

Customer: “You have such great sales! We already got our school supplies for the year, but at these prices, I just want to stock up!”

Me: “Yeah, our back-to-school prices are pretty great. I’m a student, and I actually just got a teaching position, so I stocked up on a bunch of supplies myself. Some for me and some for my classroom!”

Customer: “Oh! That’s amazing! What do you teach?”

Me: “I teach Hebrew and Torah School at [Synagogue].”

Customer: “Wow! That’s so great! But…”

She pauses to give me a knowing glance.

Customer: “Do you believe in Jesus yet?”

Me: “Actually, I’m Jewish, and belief in Jesus isn’t a part of Judaism.”

Customer: “Well, you need to believe in Jesus if you’re going to be teaching religion.”

Me: *A little tentatively* Well, ma’am, I am Jewish and will be teaching Jewish children, and Jesus isn’t actually a part of our religion.”

She smiles knowingly and reaches out to put her hand on my wrist.

Customer: “It’s okay. You’ll be spending plenty of time at your church once you start teaching. The love of Jesus will come to you eventually.”

She takes her purchases and leaves. I turn to a coworker.

Me: “Did that just happen?”

Related:
Jew You See What I See?

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I work with a guy who completes triathlons. I don’t mind him going on about it; I feign interest to be polite. But his attitude toward diet and food really grates on me. On the rare occasion that I have fast food for lunch, he always makes snarky comments about the calories. If I am feeling sick or hungover, he barks on about how much sugar is in my sports drink. If anyone brings in cakes for birthdays, he goes on about how bad cakes are and how he isn’t going to have one.

I have had problems with my weight in the past. I went from overweight to muscular, but it is still a bit of a sore subject for me. I am a little fed up with his comments but keep quiet throughout. 

After Christmas, we are all back talking about what we did over the break. [Coworker] isn’t part of the conversation, surprisingly.

Me: “It was great, although I did indulge a bit too much. My wife bought me a really nice bottle of whisky and we all ate way too much.”

Coworker: *Condescendingly* “Well, the only thing bad I ate was three chocolate buttons. Over the whole break!”

One of my coworkers shoots me a glance, and without thinking, I blurt out:

Me: “Wow, I bet your family was so happy with you judging them for what they eat over Christmas. Such a fun guy to be around.”

A couple of the guys broke out in stifled laughter. I felt a bit bad, but it did feel good to finally put him in his place. [Coworker] finally got the fact that we didn’t want our diets analysed at work and stopped the comments.

Me: “Can I have your rewards phone number?”

The customer bends down with her face almost touching the counter and whispers her phone number.

Me: “Could you please repeat it?”

Customer: *Yells* “What are you, deaf?!”

I look at her for a second and reach up to flip my hearing aid out from behind my ear.

Me: “Yes, I am.”

She just looked at me. I don’t think she was expecting that!