(I recently started working for the tech department of an office supply chain store, and I quickly started to learn that the customers who need to buy software and hardware for their computers aren’t always the brightest bulbs of the bunch.)

Customer: “I am looking for MS Office.”

Me: “Sure, right this way.”

(I start to lead the customer toward the software section.)

Me: “Just out of curiosity, what are you going to be using it for? For work, or for college…?”

Customer: “HP.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “On an HP laptop.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. My mistake. I was actually wondering what you were going to be using it for?”

Customer: “MS Office.”

(I almost facepalm and rub my eyes as I sigh, trying to hide my frustration.)

(I’m a manager in an office supply store. I see a customer come in and speak to one of my associates, and he ends up calling me over after the customer complains.)

Customer: “This desk is supposed to be on sale! I have the ad right here and it says $99.99!”

Me: “May I see the ad, ma’am?”

(The customer throws the ad on the counter.)

Me: “Ma’am, this ad was for the ninth through the sixteenth. Today is the seventeenth. That means that the sale price in the ad is no longer valid.”

Customer: *angry* “Then why do you still have the ad on display?!

(She marches over to the stand where we keep the ad on the display and pulls one from the stack.)

Customer: “SEE!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s this week’s ad.”

Customer: “BUT I GOT MY AD YESTERDAY!”

Me: “Yes. And yesterday was the last day for that ad’s sales. Today is a new ad. They get changed every Sunday.”

Customer: “Fine. Just give me the sale price on my desk so I can leave.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that sale price is no longer valid. The sale signs are no longer displayed on the desk, and that sale was a two-day-only offer which was for Sunday and Monday.”

Customer: “BUT TODAY IS SUNDAY!”

Me: “Ma’am, the ad price was for last Sunday and Monday — the Sunday and Monday which fell within the dates which are listed on the front of the ad.”

Customer: “I know it’s printed on the front of the ad, but this desk is on the back of the ad! That means they don’t apply!”

Me: “The dates apply to the entire ad, ma’am.”

Customer: “But today is Sunday, and this ad says Sunday, and that means you have to give me this sale price! Come on, I’m paying to have this thing shipped, too!”

Me: “Ma’am, why would the store put a sale price in this circular that is only good on days outside of the ad’s validity dates? And not only that, but you’d actually be getting free shipping for spending over $50, so we’re actually helping you there.”

Customer: “So, you’re not going to give me the sale price?”

Me: “No. If it was only a difference of twenty or so dollars, I could make an exception. But you’re asking me to give you a week-old deal which discounts the desk by more than half. I could lose my job for discounting that item so steeply.”

Customer: “FINE! I’ll find it cheaper somewhere else and buy it from them!”

(Considering that desk was one made exclusively by my company, I wish her luck finding it printed somewhere else!)

(This was a very common occurrence)

Customer: I need your help with a few things.

Me: Sure.

(We walk around the store as he points to items while I make a list of what they where+price.)

Customer: So, how must will that cost me?

Me: You are a few pennies off £2000, sir.

Customer: No! I’m buying loads of stuff and with cash. I will pay £1500.

Me: I’m sorry sir, but that’s not how it works.

Customer: Get me your manager!

(He ended up leaving with out buying anything.

(Often when a customer comes in looking for a shredder, they’re getting one because they have a box of stuff they already need to shred. Many times they tend to overload it within it’s first few uses and wear it out, breaking it in the process. To rectify this, i usually recommend to those customers to instead go to our Copy and Print area, where shredding services are offered, as well as a smaller printer for day-to-day use)

(On this occasion, i happened to be finishing up with one customer with a shredder, as another comes up on her phone)

Me: Yes ma’am, how can i help you?

Customer: Yeah hold on (puts down phone to talk to me) Is that a good shredder? *points at the shredder being taken away by the other customer*

Me: Yes ma’am it is a pretty good one

Customer: Get me one

Me: Well, hold on, mind if i ask a few questions? (she doesnt seem happy with my response, but she doesnt stop me from continuing) Is this to replace a shrdder you already have? or do you have like a box of stuff that you need to shred waiting at home?

Customer: I got a box at home.

Me: Well, if you’ve just got a box of stuff to shred, i may want to recommend you take that box to our Copy and Print desk, they offer shredding services for 75 cents a pound, and there’s a coupon online to make the first five pounds fr-

Customer: Why are you offering me something i dont want?

Me: Uh, i just want to make sure you get the right service for what you need

Customer: I know what i need, now get me one of those shredders!

Me: …. Okay… (I decide not to argue with her about it, starting to grab one of the shredders from midstock)

Customer: how much is it?

Me: It’s $89 after an easy rebate, but you’ll be paying $120 today, and get the rest back later

Customer: (already back on the phone talking, ignoring me)

Me: (i pull down the shredder and hold it out for her to take. the box is a bit big, but mostly its just an empty bin for the paper to settle in, while the motor doesnt weigh too much at all) I would really recommend that you get out Warranty on this, its an extra $20 but if ANYTHING happens to your product in the next…. (customer ignores me holding out the shredder and begins to walk away) Okay… i’ll just leave this up front for you…

(I take the shredder up to the front register, leaving it with the cashier and continue helping other customers. a few minutes later i get a call to help a customer with a carry out. i walk up and see her, still on her phone, having not even attempted to touch the box. she certainly didnt seem unable to carry it, aside from a phone in her hand. I take it out to her car and slip it into the back, noticing she already has a VERY large containor with paper filled t othe top)

Me: Ma’am? is that the shredding you need to do?

Customer: I do my OWN shredding.

me: … Okay… have a nice day.

(I walk back in, and the cashier immediately tell me how she was rude to her as well. She offered the warranty as well, and complained that we were stealing money from her,and how ‘careful’ she would be with the shredder. she also got fussy when the price at the register wasnt $89, even though we both explained how online rebates worked. never during her visit did she take away her phone.)

Our return system is set up so that if the customer does not have a receipt, the item they are returning automatically rings up at the cheapest price it’s been sold at over the last 90 days. We also have the ability to look up receipts using the card number that was used on that purchase. I have looked for a receipt for this customer on four of his cards, and no receipts are showing up, so we continue the return without a receipt.
The item rings up at a penny.

Me: Unfortunately it’s ringing up at a penny.

Customer: But I’m just exchanging, so it’s ok.

Me: No, it’s not, because the items are completely different. I can’t give you any money back for this, because sometime within the last 90 days, this item has been given out for free. It was probably a promo with a certain purchase.

Customer: Well I never got this for free, I paid for it, so you have to give me my money back.

Me: No, I can’t give you your money back, because the register is only letting me give you a penny. Which is nothing, since we don’t have pennies anymore.

Customer: But I’m exchanging it. So it’s ok.

Me: No, it’s not ok, because you are getting a different item. If they were the same, I could swap them out no problem. But they’re different, so they have to go through the til, and because you don’t have a receipt, it’s ringing up at the lowest price it’s been in the last 90 days. Which is a penny.

Customer: But this isn’t fair. I paid for it.

Me: Unfortunately without a receipt, we don’t have proof of that. If you find your receipt, I’ll be happy to give you back what you paid.

Customer: Why can’t you give me back what I paid for it!?

Me: Because we don’t know what you paid for it. You don’t have a receipt.