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Maybe They Have A Store Map Online…

, , , , , | Working | June 1, 2022

My manager sent me to a retail office supply store for stickers that work with a postage machine. I walked in and, after searching the store, I couldn’t find what I needed, so I went to customer service. 

Me: “Can you help me? I need stickers for a [Brand] postage printing machine.”

Worker: “You need… what?”

Me: “Stickers… for postage?”

Worker: “Oh… okay, sure. Follow me.”

She led me to the aisle for staplers and staples. 

Worker: “Is this what you need?”

Me: “Um…”

Worker: “This is where all of our Bostitch items are. Is this what you wanted?”

Me: “No… Sorry, I need postage.”

Worker: “Yes, this is where all our Bostitch [Bahs-stitch] — Oh, I’m sorry, I mean Bostitch [Beau-stitch] items are.” *Walks away*

Me: “Um… Thanks?”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 21

, , , , | Right | May 5, 2022

A man walks in and just exclaims as loudly as possible:


I walk with him to buy these three things. I start by showing him the receipts, and he starts moaning how they are way too expensive, but he picks them up anyway. The same goes for the other two items.

We get to the register, and after he exclaims that he has a discount, I ask him the name of his company and type it in, but it doesn’t come up. I try everything I can to find it but to no avail. I then ask him if he remembers how high his discount is so I can put it in manually.

Customer: “Well, I shop here almost every day, so it’s got to be 50%.”

I had never seen him here before, so he can’t shop here that much! Also, NO ONE HAS A DISCOUNT OF 50%!

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not possible. We have government departments that shop with us, and even they don’t even get 50% off.”

Customer: *Yelling* “I get 50% off at your competitors! You’re just stupid! You have just cost your company millions of dollars in purchases!”

Me: *Bored by his rant* “You are welcome to go to our competitors to shop there.”

He stormed out without his items.

I used to work at my now-competitor store and I know that they have REALLY STRICT rules about discounts: if you’re not in the system, you get none!

Lo and behold, he came back five minutes later and bought everything from me at 10% off. I gave him my brightest smile and served him politely, all the while laughing evilly inside.

I then phoned my boss and asked her about the guy, and she told me that he only shops with us about twice a month, so she only signed him up for the 5% discount. I had the pleasure of being at work when she explained to him that she did not appreciate customers berating her employees and that he would only get a 5% from now on.

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 20
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 19
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 18
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 17
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 16

Social Anxiety Can Rob You… Of Your Voice

, , , | Right | April 22, 2022

I work at an office supply store with a big copy and printing department. My boss is insistent that we speak with every customer on the floor at least once. We’ve recently had several thefts. Two days ago, I asked a man if he needed any help. He got spooked and ran out the door, setting off the security alarm. Earlier today, another customer ran out the door with a shopping cart full of stolen items.

It’s getting close to the end of my shift, and I see a teenage girl toward the back of the store browsing the shelves. I walk up to her.

Me: “Good evening, miss. Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Her eyes go wide, and she stares at me for a few seconds, like a deer caught in headlights.

Me: “Is that a no?”

She then started running toward the front of the store in a full sprint. I got on the radio and said we had a shoplifter. I watched as the girl approached the front door and… turned and ran toward our printing department instead. She sat down at one of our self-service computers and put on a pair of headphones.

Turns out, she was there with her father, who was getting a big printing order done, and she was just browsing while they waited. I never really got an explanation for her behavior, but she hadn’t stolen anything. My guess is that she had some kind of social anxiety.

Their Brain’s Out Of Gas

, , , , , | Working | March 21, 2022

I’m learning Spanish, and as such, I’m one of the designated Spanish translators at my store. I’m with a customer at the print department and need to let him know that we can’t laminate government licenses.

Me: “Lo siento, no podemos imprimir de plástico las tarjetas de…” *I’m sorry, we can’t laminate cards of…*

My mind completely blanks on the word for “car”. After stammering for a while, my brain finally settles on:

Me: “Tarjetas de… VROOM-VROOM!”

We all had a good laugh over that, though I was beating myself up for a bit for not remembering “el carro”.

A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned, Even If It’s Ugly

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: decemberhunting | February 2, 2022

This takes place on July fourth, a holiday in my country where almost everyone takes the day off. They generally don’t go shopping at all unless it’s, like, last-minute groceries or something.

I work at an office supply store. I think we made about seven dollars today. It’s hilariously pointless to be open.

A customer comes up to my register with four containers.

Customer: “Can you price check these? I want the two cheapest ones.”

Sounds good. I check the prices individually and go over them with her so she can pick the cheapest ones.

We proceed with the transaction, I state the total, she hands me cash, and I get her change, tell her the amount she’s getting back, and thank her and such. Then, I turn my attention to some other front-end tasks, assuming the transaction is over.

When I eventually look back to the register, I notice that the customer is studying her change and receipt like it’s a final exam, looking visibly upset.

Customer: “You rang up the wrong ones! I said I wanted the expensive ones!”

Me: “But just a second ago you said you wanted the cheaper ones.”

Customer: “No! I want one of the cheaper ones and one of the expensive ones!”

So, right off the bat, this lady is all over the place. That’s officially three different combinations of containers.

Me: *Politely* “I’m happy to fix this, but it’s going to be a fairly involved process.”

First, the system takes a few minutes to register receipts, so we have to wait a little while to start a return. Then, since it’s a cash refund, store policy states that a manager needs to be physically present, and all three of us need to sign a piece of paper. Once all of that is done, I can ring up the items she wants. Admittedly, it’s a lot, but them’s the breaks.

Customer: “Fine!”

Her tone indicates that she’s clearly not fine with it. I’m mentally barfing but keeping my best customer service persona on because it’s not worth any trouble.

An awkward five minutes later, I’m able to pull up her receipt in the system and the manager comes over.

Me: “This customer changed her mind and I need to do a cash refund.”

Customer: “I didn’t change my mind! I wanted one of the cheaper ones and one of the expensive ones!”

Manager: “Okay, we’ll take care of that for you.”

We all sign for the refund, I process it, and the manager wanders off. I then proceed to carefully clarify which ones she wants and ring her up for it. Her change is a few cents.

I’m thinking this is all over, but she looks at the change and glares at me.

Customer: *Angrily* “This penny is too ugly! I want a new one!”

Internally, I rue my own birth.

Me: “I can give you a new penny, but I need a manager override to open the till if there’s no sale.”

She makes some weird chicken-like squawk as if I just told her I killed her only child. She flails her arms and screams:


Me: “No, I just need the manager.”

Customer: “Fine!”

She stands there and I kind of fiddle with some stuff on the desk while we wait for the manager again, who had to go put out another metaphorical fire somewhere else in the store.

Part of me considers politely explaining to her that the value of a penny isn’t based on its appearance and that she is honestly wasting her own time, but I figure she’ll just yell. Eventually, the manager comes back up.

Me: “This customer wants a nicer-looking penny.”

The manager stares blankly for a second.

Manager: “Oh. Um, sure. Let me get that for you.”

We gave her the new penny, she left, and we proceeded to brutally mock her for a few minutes after we were sure she was out of earshot.