Customer: “Do you have those plastic things that go in the holes in desks?”

Me: “Oh, grommets? Unfortunately, we don’t sell them in the store anymore, but you can get them online.”

Customer: “No, I know it’s not a grommet. It’s just a black plastic bit that makes the hole in your desk look nice. You know, where you feed your wires through and stuff.”

Me: “Yes, that’s a grommet. We used to have them in the store, but we don’t anymore.”

Customer: “No, no, it’s not a grommet. It’s for the hole in your desk where you feed your wires. I know you can also get some that have a little flap on them so they can close the hole up completely.”

Me: “Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about. We don’t have them in the store.”

Customer: “Okay, but what would you call that?”

Me: “A grommet.”

Customer: “No, not a grommet. I can’t think of what it would be called. What would you call it?”

Me: “I would call it a grommet.”

Customer: “But that’s not what it is!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know any other name for them, so I have no idea what I would search if that’s not the name you want to give it. But I know what you’re talking about and we don’t have them. If you need it today, maybe they have them at [Store]?”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll go look. So, if I go there and I need help, what should I tell them I’m looking for?”

Me: *regretfully* “A grommet.”

(A middle-aged woman, after getting no luck from us regular staff, has approached my manager and is describing what she is looking for. None of us recognise what she is after. She is getting more and more frustrated, and has now been in the store for at least twenty minutes.)

Customer: “Can you look again? It’s [describes product at length for the umpteenth time].”

Manager: “I’m very sorry, but we don’t have what you’re looking for. I’ve never heard of anything like it.”

Customer: “Well, surely someone has invented it by now!” *storms out of the store*

(That’s right, folks; she was trying to buy a product she’d invented in her head.)

(I work at an office supply store, and on Saturdays, we open at 9:00 am, which is an hour later compared to the weekdays. I come in at 8:00 am to set up shop with my manager, and after about twenty minutes the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I take care of your business today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m standing outside at the door, and they are locked. What’s the deal?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we do not open until 9:00 am on Saturdays.”

Customer: “What? That’s stupid! Let me in; I want to spend my money with you guys.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but we are not allowed to open the door for customers until 9:00 am.”

Customer: “Well, that is really inconvenient! I guess I’ll have to go to spend my money at your competitor, then!”

Me: “Have a great day, then.” *ends call*

Manager: “What was that about?”

Me: “A guy was upset that we don’t open until 9:00 am, so he’s going to [Competitor].”

Manager: “But they open at 9:00 am on Saturdays, too.”

Me: “Well, in a few minutes he’ll figure that out.”

I was the idiot customer … but not by my choice. Back when computers used primarily 3.5″ floppy disks, I had a handful of them that went bad. My (ex-) mother-in-law told me that the time that Office Depot had a policy that allowed you to bring in your old, bad floppy disks and they would replace them! According to her, it didn’t matter the make, condition, or if they worked still.

I was so embarrassed to hand a box of 100 disgusting, stained, old floppy disks expecting to trade out for a brand new box of disks. I was so angry for falling for that and embarrassed when the customer rep gave me this most baffling look.

I laugh about it now.

(An associate asks me to open the locked cupboard which has customer online orders stored in it. I walk to the customer waiting and ask her name and what the item is)

Customer: (she very loudly and rudely says her name and the item and also continues) It’s what my email just told me!

Me: …. ok. (I open the cupboard and don’t even get a chance to look at the name on the item before she starts yelling at me)

Customer: It’s that one! It’s right there! It’s right there I can see it!

(I take my time as normal to read the name correctly before I give it to her, as customers can order the same items as other customers quite often; I don’t want to give out an order with the wrong paperwork attached)

Me: Alright here’s your item. Can I see some ID please?

Customer: YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR ID LAST TIME I CAME IN JUST TWO DAYS AGO!

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t remember you from two days ago, but I always ask for ID to make sure I’m giving the item to the right person.

Customer: THIS IS BULLSH*T NO ONE EVER ASKS ME FOR ID AND I’VE BEEN IN HERE ALREADY AND I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS

Me: I don’t understand why you’re getting mad at me…

Customer: BECAUSE THE LAST PERSON DIDN’T ASK ME FOR ID AND THIS IS RIDICULOUS! (She takes her driver’s licence out of her wallet and literally throws it at me. I look at her name and picture and hand it back to her.)

Me: Ok well here’s your ID. I just need a signature anywhere on here saying that you’ve picked it up.

Customer: (signing it so hard that she ripped the paper) THIS STORE IS RIDICULOUS I WILL BE WRITING TO HEAD OFFICE ABOUT THIS!

Me: About me making sure I didn’t give your paid-for item to someone else?

Customer: NO BECAUSE I’VE BEEN HERE ALREADY THREE TIMES IN THE LAST FOUR DAYS AND YOUR STORE IS BULLSH*T AND YOU ALL TREAT ME LIKE SH*T AND THIS IS RIDICULOUS! (She throws the pen on the counter and starts walking away.)

Me: Ok well have a great day!

(She then yelled something else on the way out but I couldn’t make out what it was. Probably something about how I shouldn’t have told her nicely to have a good while she was clearly mad at me for doing literally nothing to her)