I worked at Staples. I had a guy come in with a printed copy of his online basket from our website, mostly binders, not yet purchased.

Customer: “I need you to beat this price.”

Me: “I can’t, sir.”

Customer: “You can. I’m a loyal customer and easily spend over ten grand here a year.”

Me: “Thank you, sir, but what I mean is, it’s the same price online and in store because in Canada it’s not legal to have two different prices.”

Customer: “You’re not being loyal to the loyal customer. I deserved to be treated better than that. If you can’t beat that price, then I’ll buy all this online instead.”

Me: *All smiles.* “Perfect! Hope you are satisfied with our online store!”

He looked surprised, looked at the sheet, realized he looked completely stupid, and bought all the d*** stuff in the store.

I was working at a stationery and office supply store during back-to-school season. A woman comes up to my register with a few things, and I start scanning them in.

Customer: “Hey, what price did that last item scan as?”

Me: “$2.49, ma’am.”

Customer: *Getting a bit of an attitude.* “Well, on the shelf they were listed as $2.99!”

Me: “I apologize. During back-to-school season, it can be difficult to print new shelf tags for every item in time. I can pause the transaction and wait if you want to go back and get more?”

Customer: *Attitude continuing.* “What I want is for the price I expect to be reflected at the checkouts!”

Me: “Well, I can override the price to what the shelf label says.”

Customer: *Sniffs.* “Hmm, no, I’ll forgive it this time. I’d better not encounter such… discrepancies next time.”

She pays with her card and leaves without further incident.

Next Customer: “She does realize she got that cheaper than the shelf price, right?”

Me: “Welcome to retail, where customers can find a way to complain about everything, including getting something for cheaper!”

I’m in a large, nationwide office supply store the night before my university term starts, and I’m getting some things I’d realised I’d run out of. My father is with me, but he’s wandered off to look at sketchbooks while I’m looking at folders. 

This store has everything you would ever need if it pertained to school, offices, or businesses in general: technology, backpacks, notebooks, sketchbooks, pens, pencils, etc. But it’s only the sort of things you would use in an office or business, not anything specific to what that business may be.

As it’s night, and nearing store closing, it’s relatively quiet. Suddenly, I hear a couple talking from the aisle behind me.

Man: “Hmm…I don’t think they have it.”

Woman: “But they must! This is a supply store!”

She pauses.

Woman: “Oh, there’s an employee! Excuse me! Can you help us?”

By this point, I’m done selecting what I want, but I’m curious what they were looking for, so I stay where I am. The aisle they were in had art supplies, and this store has the biggest range, and was the only place in town that had brands like Copic markers, and when I was younger, I spent many a day choosing the best I could afford when I took art in school. They had EVERYTHING you could ever want.

Naturally, I’m curious as to what they couldn’t find.

Employee: “Yes, ma’am, are you having trouble finding something?”

Woman: “Yes! I can’t find your sewing supplies!”

Employee: “…sewing supplies?”

Woman: “Yes! Like needles and cotton! I thought it would be here, but it’s not!”

Employee: “…I’m sorry, but we don’t sell sewing supplies. We’re an office supply store.”

Man: “Exactly!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, I don’t follow. We sell OFFICE supplies. For businesses, offices, and students.”

Man: “Yes, exactly! You supply to offices! And businesses! What if there’s a business that repairs things? How can you not sell sewing supplies?!”

Woman: “This is discrimination! You need to sell EVERYTHING a business may need!”

Employee: “Ma’am…”

Woman: “What am I meant to do now?!”

Employee: “You could go to [national craft, fabric, and sewing store]?”

Man: “They’re already closed! You sell art stuff, why don’t you sell sewing materials? Some businesses may do sewing too, you know!”

They start arguing with the poor employee, who keeps saying that yes, it’s an office supplies store and NO, they don’t sell, and have never sold, sewing materials. I ducked out of the aisle and found my father.

Dad: *Seeing me trying not to laugh.* “What’s up with you?”

Me: “…I’ll tell you in the car.”

I did. We both laughed. This happened about ten years ago. I still think of it when I go to the store.

Our office supply store was open until midnight on the last two nights of the financial year calendar. Apparently, the store thought someone might come in at 11:59 and would use it as the last chance they had to deck out their entire office with new laptops and chairs or some such.

 After about 9 PM, the store was pretty much a complete ghost town. By 10 PM, the store was the cleanest it’s ever been since it was built.

The phone rang at about 11:30 PM.

Caller: “Are you still open?”

Me: “Until midnight.”

Caller: “I wanna buy [item].”

Me: “Yeah, we have that in stock.”

Caller: “You do?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Caller: *Deep sigh.* “I’m going to get out of my pyjamas, get dressed, and come down to the store.”

Me: “Uhm, sure. It’ll be at the front counter whenever you’re here to collect it.”

He turns up and tells me again:

Caller: “I had to get out of my pyjamas, get dressed, and come down to the store to pick this up.”

It’s about 11:50 PM by this point, and so I just told him how much it’s going to cost.

Caller: “Uh… discount?”

Me: “Why?”

Caller: “For being your last customer of the evening!”

Me: “No, that’s no reason for giving out a discount. Also, we weren’t closed yet. There might be other customers, you know.”

Caller: “But I had to get out of my pyjamas, get dressed, and come down to the store to pick this up!”

Me: “Next time, feel free to come in your pyjamas.”

He paid full price for all his “troubles”.

Waaaay back in the 1980s, I worked in an office supply store.

Customer: “Do you have accounting and bookkeeping stuff?”

Me: “We do! Just this way!”

I bring them to the aisle, which contains an extensive number of items.

Me: “These are the bookkeeping supplies, like columnar pads, adding machines, and blank W-2s.”

Customer: “Okay, so what do I need?”

Me: “Uh… I can’t answer that for you, sir. I can only show you where we sell it all.”

Customer: “But how do I use them? I need to know for my business.”

Me: “As I said, sir, I can’t answer that. I can only show you where in the store we sell them.”

Customer: “So, you’re just a glorified talking map?!”

Me: “Sir, I make $3.35 per hour. For that, you get directions and a smile. If I knew how to do bookkeeping or accounting, why the h*** would I be working here for minimum wage?!”