(For legal reasons, our store cannot offer any discounts on books by a certain publisher.)

Customer: “I’d like to use this coupon on my order, please.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Your order is nothing but books by [Publisher], and we can’t accept the coupon on them.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “See, it says right here in the fine print: ‘Not valid on any [Publisher]’s products’.”

Customer: “Well, I know that! But you need to give me the discount anyway!”

Me: “It’s against store policy. I can’t give you a discount on these books.”

Customer: “Look, I’m using these books to witness to people who don’t know the Lord. You should give me a discount because I’m giving them to people who need them!”

Me: “There is nothing I can do about that. I don’t set the prices or the policies.”

Customer: “If [Bookstore] really does claim to be a Christian business, then they should give discounts to people who buy stuff to witness to other people! You’re making me waste the Lord’s money!”

Guest: “How much for one of your hotel rooms?”

Me: *gives price*

Guest: “How about if I only pay [another price]?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t do that. We’re almost sold out and I can’t reduce room rates when we’re almost sold out.”

Guest: “Do you really think you’re going to sell this room anytime tonight?”

Me: “Yes, I will. I’m the only hotel in the area with rooms left and other hotels are sending their overflow guests to me. I’ll sell this room in the next half hour.”

Guest: “Oh, come on!”

Me: “Plus there’s a concert tonight and I’m getting a lot of concert goers coming in to get a room.”

Guest: “But the concert is over! I just came from the concert myself!”

Me: “And here you are!”

This story is part of the Customer Complaints That Resolve Themselves roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

17 Awful Customers Ordering Food

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Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

Caller: “I want to get my money back on a laptop I bought.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Caller: “Nothing’s wrong. My mom won’t let me put Internet on my laptop, so I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “I don’t give refunds. My warranty only covers breaks.”

Caller: “So, if I break it you will give me my money back?”

This story is part of the Extreme Refunders roundup!

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(A caller says she’s found a kitten and is getting information on our services.)

Me: “…we also recommend spaying or neutering the kitten. This can be done around four to six months of age.”

Caller: “What would the cost be for that?”

Me: “A spay surgery runs about $100, and a neuter runs a little cheaper, around $70.  The spay is a bit more expensive because it’s more invasive and takes more time to do.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. I would definitely do the neuter since it’s cheaper.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the surgery depends on the kitten’s gender. If it’s a female, it’ll be a spay, and if it’s a male, it’ll be a neuter.”

Caller: “Why the difference?”

This story is part of our Take Your Cat To The Vet roundup!

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Customer: “Excuse me, can I buy three tickets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “Isn’t this [Town] High School?”

Me: “Yes, but this show is sold out.”

Customer: “How many seats are left?”

Me: “None. We’re sold out. There’s another show tomorrow at–”

Customer: “Well, next time you should think about being already sold out before you start selling tickets!”

This story is included in our Even-More-Impossible requests roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Hilarious Stories About Customers Versus Mother Nature

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