Logic Board Illogic

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

Caller: “I want to get my money back on a laptop I bought.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Caller: “Nothing’s wrong. My mom won’t let me put Internet on my laptop, so I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “I don’t give refunds. My warranty only covers breaks.”

Caller: “So, if I break it you will give me my money back?”