Unfiltered Story #161888

, , , | Unfiltered | September 1, 2019

(I have just gotten off my fourth 12 hour shift working for a game at a convention where I dress in a rubber monster suit and let players dressed as space marines shoot me with pellet guns. I am tired and sore as I slump into a booth next to a table of cosplayers dressed as characters from a webcomic)

Waitress, with a strong southern accent: You look tired, hon. What’ll you have?

Me: A peanut butter milkshake and the largest burger you have.

(The milkshake comes, and I lose myself in a book I picked up on my lunchbreak. About fifteen minutes later, I’ve finished the drink but the burger still hasn’t come. I don’t care, because I’m getting to sit down)

Waitress: Sorry it’s taking so long.

Me: That’s fine, it’s busy with the convention. If you don’t mind me here, I don’t mind the wait.

Waitress: Let me get you some water, baby.

Cosplayer: “What’s a water baby? She talks funny.”

(I rise up to my full 6’3″ height and use my best monster voice)

Me: I am tired. I am hungry. I just spent four days letting random people shoot at me. This woman is being polite and an excellent waitress, despite me having to wait so long for my food. Keep it up, and I’ll solve the problem by cooking and eating YOU.

(The table suddenly found their sodas fascinating, and left soon after, but didn’t make another peep until then. My food comes, and then…)

Me: I’m ready for the check, when you have a minute.

Waitress: Oh no, sweetie, someone as nice as you shouldn’t have had to wait so long for their food. You’re comped.

Me: Wait, no check? I was going to tip on my debit card… I only have two dollars cash on me, and you deserve much more. You’ve been amazing.

(She took it and told me not to worry about it. Waitstaff who put up with large crowds of geeks so kindly deserve all the love in the world!)

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Unfiltered Story #154632

, , , | Unfiltered | June 10, 2019

Customer: Can I have a snack wrap and a small fry
Me: Ok, that’ll be $2.38
Customer: *yells to other employee* Can I use your discount
Other employee: Yes *types in code*
Me: Ok, your total is $1.90
*customer swipes card, it declines, pays with cash*
*drive thru was going extremely slow, so we had to remake a plain sundae.
Co worker sits ice cream down on counter. Customer picks up the ice cream and walks away*
Customer: *she comes back to the counter* Can you make me a new sundae?
Me: No, you didn’t pay for that one
Customer: What are you getting smart for?
Me: I’m not. I’m just not making you something you didn’t pay for.
Customer: I will spit on you. You don’t know me.. *this went on for 10 mins*

I’ll Call You Daddy For Twenty Bucks

, , , , , | Right | April 23, 2019

(I’m driving for Uber, taking a rider to a concert. He’s texting as I drive.)

Customer: “Hey, [My Name], we’re friends now, okay? I’m telling everyone that a friend is giving me a ride.”

Me: *playing along* “Okay, ‘friend,’ can I borrow twenty bucks?”

Customer: “If I give you money, you’re one of my kids.”

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Scarfing Down On Homophobes

, , , , , , , | Working | April 22, 2019

My fiancée is shopping for a fancy women’s suit for our upcoming wedding. To save money, she, her brother, and their mom go to a department store. My fiancée finds a great suit that she looks amazing and comfortable in, but now she will need a tie for it. She goes to an associate, an older woman, for help.

The associate gives my fiancée — who does have a butch hairstyle — and her women’s suit a dirty look and tells her that women’s scarves, but not ties, are nearby and men’s ties are upstairs.

My fiancée still got the suit.

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Unfiltered Story #146864

, , , | Unfiltered | April 11, 2019

(An irate looking couple enters after talking with coworkers in the drive thru, shows picture of a beverage from a “secret menu.”)
Man: I want this.
Me: Alright, do you have the recipe for the drink?
*Both sigh loudly*
Woman, clearly agitated: Can’t you just make it?! It’s on your menu!!
Me: Actually, it’s a drink from the “secret menu.”  They’re drinks that customers have made up and named.  They are not actually on our menu.
Woman: My friend comes to my house with this drink all the time!
Me: She probably told the employee the recipe.
*Both rolling eyes*
Man: Look, we just want this drink, here, in the photo! *Shows me the same photo*
Me: I’m sorry sir, but we have a lot of different drinks that look the same but are different.  I can’t possibly know what makes that drink special.
Woman: Listen, we just want this drink! *points at phone*
Me: Ma’am, I understand, but I don’t know what drink you want. I can’t —
Woman, interrupting: No, no, no, no, no. Give me a drink like this – White with whipped cream, and has Oreos on top and cookies and oreos blended in.
Me: I’m sorry, but we don’t have Oreos.
Woman: My friend comes home with this drink and it tastes like oreos!
Me: We’ve never had oreos.  We used to have chocolate cookie topping, but we no longer carry that.
Man: What do you have, then?!
Me: Well, we can put chocolate chips in a white mocha beverage, but I’m not sure if that’s the drink you’re looking for.
Woman: Jesus Christ.  If I went to the store and bought some oreos, could you put them in there?
Me: I’m sorry, we’re not allowed to put outside food products in our beverages.
Woman, practically yelling: Well God! At this point I should just be added to your payroll! What if I put the Oreos in there myself? Would that make up for what you guys CAN’T do?!
Me: I don’t know, it might, but –
Woman, again cutting me off: NO NO NO NO NO. If I go out and spend MY money to fix YOUR drink that you don’t know how to make, would it be the same!?
Me:….You can do whatever you want with your drink.
Woman: Jeez, that’s all I wanted!
Man: Yeah!  Why is this so difficult for you guys?!
I proceed to ring them up and make their drink, while they watch me and loudly comment how we’re all stupid.  It would have taken five seconds to look the recipe up online!