I’m working the returns and customer service desk at a home improvement store when an elderly lady comes in with a thick accent and a return. I process the return, which was paid with debit, so it goes back to her debit card.

Customer: “What do I do?”

Me: “Just put your chip card in the machine and follow the prompts. It’s just like making a purchase except I’m giving you money.”

She puts in her card and I turn my back. I don’t want to be accused of trying to spy on her PIN code. 

I hear the machine beep and a small receipt spits out. The transaction was cancelled.

Customer: “I’m done?”

I turn back to the customer:

Me: “Looks like it was cancelled by accident; let’s just try that again.”

I reset the machine.

Customer: “What do I do?”

Me: “Just put your chip card in the machine and—”

The customer hits “Cancel.”

Customer: “I have my money?”

Me: “No, looks like we’re just having some technical problems. One more time, chip in the bottom.”

I reset it again. The customer puts the card in the machine.

Customer: “Now what?”

Me: “It’s just like when you use it to buy. Press ‘Yes.’ The amount is correct.”

I reach over and press “Yes.”

Me: “Now, just select the account: chequing or savings—”

The customer hits “Cancel.”

Customer: “Do I get a receipt?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my supervisor shaking slightly. I reset the machine, yet again.

Me: “Of course, as soon as we finish your return. Let me just come around and see what’s going on.”

Customer: “What do I do?”

Me: “Let’s just put the card back in the machine. Now, don’t hit the big red button. Then, ‘Yes,’ the amount is good, so just select the account: chequing or savings.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Chequing or savings?”

Customer: “Chaving!”

The customer hits “Cancel.” I see my supervisor shaking hard, covering her mouth, and slipping into the office just behind us. I reset the machine.

Me: “One more time. We’ll get this. Just select the account: chequing or savings.”

Customer: “Just select the… chaving.”

Me: “Just press the button for the account.”

I have my hand over the keypad so she can’t hit “Cancel” now.

Customer: “…”

Me: “Just press the button for—”

Customer: *Still not moving* “Chaving.”

I take a stab and press “Chequing.”

Me: “Great! Now just enter your PIN and hit the green enter button.”

She enters her PIN and… “Cancel.”

Customer: “You give me money now?”

Me: “Not just yet. We’ll get it this time for sure.”

We get to the PIN. I’m watching like a hawk now, privacy be d***ed!

Me: “So, enter your PIN.”

The customer enters her PIN and I slap my hand over the PIN pad. 

Me: “Is that your whole PIN?”

Customer: “Yes.”

I take a deep breath and press “Enter,” fearing and hoping at the same time. Transaction complete and the receipt spits out.

Customer: “You give me money now?”

Me: “Yep, it’s been put back to your debit card, just the way you paid.”

I hand her the receipts with all the cancelled copies and bid her a good day. I’m standing there, dumbfounded by what I’ve just seen and just glad it’s over, when my supervisor comes out.

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, I had to leave before I burst out laughing. How did she buy the stuff in the first place?!”

Me: “How did she find her way back to the store?”

After college, I moved in with a friend from high school, renting a room in her house. The house’s washer had been malfunctioning — and by that, I mean shooting water back out the pipes — and I offered to meet with a plumber after work so we could get it fixed.  

The plumbers were two super nice gentlemen who figured out there were roots growing all throughout the plumbing and would need to be removed. One temporary option was $500; the more permanent option was $1,000.

My friend had left me a blank check for this but I wanted to check in with her first. Upon calling and telling her the situation, she immediately started freaking out over the cost but said to go ahead with the $1,000 option. 

Ten minutes after the process had started, she called back telling me to stop them from doing anything because these men were con artists and lying to us. I insisted that I had seen the roots myself on their camera and that the men had already started. 

These two men could hear her screaming and crying in my ear about how these men were lying and I was too stupid to know that. She wanted me to make them pull a piece of root out from the pipes to prove they weren’t lying. The process these men were using was to shoot a high-pressure hose down the pipes to break them up, meaning no “proof” for her.

She eventually just left work and came home and “thanked” them in a sarcastically cheerful manner and, thankfully, paid up. I informed her that, in the future, if she wanted something fixed in the house, she’d better be there herself.

(I work with five other people as a cashier at a large furniture store, and one of the responsibilities is to answer the phones. One afternoon, my coworker picks up a call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Furniture Store]. This is [Coworker]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m wondering why you haven’t called me yet.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, do you have an order with us? May I have your phone number, so I can look it up?”

Caller: “No, I don’t have an order. I was in your store a month ago and lost an earring, and I’m wondering why you haven’t called to tell me you found it.”

Coworker: “Okay. Did you come to the front counter after you lost it, so we could take down your information?”

Caller: “You should have known to call me! Haven’t you found it yet? What is wrong with you people?! Don’t you clean your store?”

(Our store is pretty big, about the size of a regular grocery store. Finding a needle in a haystack is a gross understatement.)

Coworker: “I apologize, ma’am, but no one has turned in any jewelry. I’m also not sure how we would have contacted you without your information, had it turned up.”

Caller: “I bet you kept it for yourself. It was worth hundreds of dollars. This is unbelievable.”

Coworker: “I assure you, ma’am, we have not found any earrings. I am sorry. I can still take down your information if you’d—”

Caller: *click*

(My dad owns a construction company. This week we have had a heatwave with temperatures feeling like 40 degrees with humidity. Yesterday, we also had severe thunderstorms with a chance of a tornado. My dad gets this call:)

Customer: *freaking out* “Where are the roofers?! They were supposed to be here today!”

This story is part of our Heatwave roundup!

Read the next Heatwave Roundup story!

Read the Heatwave Roundup!

(I work in the paint department. A lot of tape in our store is located in my department, but only a small selection of colored duct tapes are here. The majority of duct tape is in the plumbing department. A customer approaches my supervisor and me, already looking harried.)

Me: “How’s it going today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for tape. But not masking tape. I need silver tape.”

Supervisor: “Oh, the silver tape is all in the back of plumbing.”

Me: “In aisle thirty-four.”

Customer: *frowning* “Where is that?”

Supervisor: “Head one aisle over to aisle twelve, then straight to the back from there.”

(The customer walks off, grumbling something about not knowing what to do before finally heading down aisle twelve. I think nothing of it, figuring she was just in a mood for some reason. My supervisor’s shift ends about five minutes later, and fifteen minutes after that, the same customer shows back up with another associate)

Customer: *walking over to our small display of multicolored duct tape and waving for my attention* “Hello? Hello?! It’s right here!”

(I know for a fact that we have no silver tape in that display. Sure enough, there is none.)

Me: “Oh, but I thought you were looking for silver tape?”

Customer: “Your friend sent me all the way to the back of the store and it’s right here!”

Me: “But… you said you wanted silver tape, and there is no silver tape there. All the silver tape is in the back of plumbing.”

Customer: “It’s right here! No one in this store knows what they’re doing!”

(The customer proceeded to take a roll of tape and walk away. The roll of tape that she took was white, and could not in any way, shape, or form be mistaken for silver. I guess I should have just known that’s what she meant?)