Drywall Me A Misogynist

| USA | Working | May 14, 2012

(I have a friend who is really good with her hands and likes to build stuff. I’m completely useless with tools, and I have absolutely no idea how to go about building things. So, when I needed to build a drywall patch, I called her. Note: I am male.)

Employee: *ignoring my friend* “Hey there, sir, what’re you looking for today?”

Me: *points to my friend* “Oh, she’s the one who knows what we need.”

Employee: “But…she’s a girl.”

Me: “I have no idea what I need for the project. She’s showing me how it’s done.”

Employee: *smugly, to my friend* “Okay, little lady. What do you think you need?”

My Friend: “Fiberglass drywall tape, quick-dry drywall mud, trowel, sandpaper…” *to me* “…do you have the paint chip of your wall color? We’ll only need about a quart of that mixed.”

Employee: *surprised* “You actually know how to patch drywall?!”

My Friend: “It’s just a small hole. And it’s not like we have to bead the corners or anything.”

Employee: “But…you’re a girl!”

My Friend: “And you’re a moron. Which aisle, please?”


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Speaking Of Rips…

| Bella Vista, AR, USA | Right | May 2, 2012

(I’m in the lawn and garden section and see a lady looking at some flowers. I see her pull a flowerpot off of the rack and tear the plastic container apart. She then turns around and sees me.)

Customer: “The packaging on this item is broken. Can I get a discount?”

Me: *unsure of how to respond* “Let me get you my manager, ma’am.”

(I explain the situation to my manager on the way over.)

Customer: “The packaging on this item was broken. Can I get a discount?”

Manager: “Ma’am, we can’t give discounts on items that you yourself have broken.”

Customer: “What a rip-off!” *leaves store*

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Water You, Stupid, Part 9

| Texas, USA | Right | March 30, 2012

(I work at a home improvement store selling appliances. I receive a call from a very upset customer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I picked up a fridge yesterday. It has been 24 hours and hasn’t made any ice.”

Me: “Okay, sir, we’re going to run troubleshooting. Is the fridge getting power?”

Customer: “Of course it’s plugged in. What do you think I am, an idiot?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I’m just trying to troubleshoot. Is the water supply to the fridge working?”

Customer: “What water supply?”

Me: “Well, sir, you have to connect the fridge to a water line for it to be able to make ice.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? I have to hook up the fridge to water? I thought it just made ice.”

Me: “Well, sir, it can’t pull water straight from the air.”

Customer: “Running water to a fridge…I don’t understand why these companies have to make things so complicated these days!” *hangs up*


A Case Of Late Onset Dissatisfaction

| Michigan, USA | Right | March 24, 2012

(I’m working at the returns desk. A customer enters with a 5-gallon bucket of deck stain and sets it on the counter with ease. This tips me off because these buckets weigh about 50lbs when full.)

Me: “Hello. Did you have a problem with the stain?”

Customer: “No, it just wasn’t the right color. I didn’t like it at all.”

(I open the bucket and notice its 3/4 of the way used.)

Me: “And you decided not to stop after the second coat?”

Customer: *blank stare of guilt*

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Missing The Y In DIY

| Michigan, USA | Right | March 7, 2012

(I work at the returns desk of a big-box home-improvement store. A customer is bringing back a pesticide/weed killer sprayer.)

Me: “Hello, did you have a problem with the sprayer?”

Customer: “Yes! It won’t work. It keeps clogging up. This is the second sprayer I’ve brought in, and I haven’t even finished my deck!”

Me: “What type of spray are you using in the sprayer?”

Customer: “I’m using the deck stain listed on the receipt there.”

Me: “There’s your problem: this sprayer won’t work for deck stain.”

Customer: “What?! What do you mean?! That’s not what I was told! I was told this would work just fine!”

Me: “Who told you that it was okay to use a pesticide sprayer for deck stain?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know his name, but he looks…um…he works here, okay?”

(I start the returns process on the register I’m at.)

Customer: “So, what would you recommend to stain my deck?”

Me: “I’d go right over to aisle 5 and look at the paint sprayers.”

Customer: “But those are so expensive! I can’t afford one of those.”

Me: “Well, you could always buy a brush and do it the old-fashioned way.”

Customer: “But that’s work!”

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