My cousin told this story at my uncle’s funeral. I thought it was hilarious.

My cousin, his wife, and his parents all go to church together. My cousin’s wife is heavily pregnant at the time. A new associate pastor is joining the church that day, and after the service, he stands at the back so everyone can greet him and introduce themselves. His wife stands next to him, and she is also heavily pregnant.

When my cousin and his wife reach the new pastor, he says, “I see your wife has the same ailment that mine has!” Everyone gives a polite chuckle, except my uncle, who glares at the new pastor and doesn’t say a word as he shakes his hand next.

My uncle still looks annoyed when they get in the car. My cousin asks him what is up.

Uncle: “That wasn’t right. A pastor shouldn’t say things like that.”

Cousin: “What do you mean?”

Uncle: “That was just rude. To say that his wife and [Cousin’s Wife] have the same mailman!”

And my cousin said that was the earliest indication that my uncle’s hearing had started to go.

I am doing our weekly grocery shopping at a certain large box store. I hate grocery shopping, especially there, and have started experiencing mild anxiety attacks because of it. No problem; I usually bring my daughter and have her do most of the work, and if I need to sit down she can finish.

Not today. In keeping with the social distancing recommendations, I go alone. For two hours. The attack hits halfway through the checkout process, and I nearly pass out.

No less than four staff come to help me out. One finishes checking me out — I am on the self-checkout lane — another stays with me while I sit long enough to make it out to the car, and a third walks me out and loads my groceries so I can sit in the air conditioning.

It is nice, in the middle of all this panic, to see retail employees taking the time to take care of a customer like that.

This story was included in our May 2020 Inspirational Roundup.

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Due to the regulations in Norway surrounding the recent disease outbreak, most restaurants are closed except for takeout. I head over to surprise my husband with some of his favorite döner kebab to cheer him up. 

As I am waiting — patiently, one meter apart from all the other patrons — to order, I see advertisements everywhere in the restaurant asking people to pay with contactless payment methods to avoid unnecessary touching. They’re on the digital menu screens, on signs,  everywhere, asking people to pay with contactless methods.

I almost always try to use contactless anyway, so I’m pleased. There should be no reason to touch the PIN pad, as it is a transaction under the currency requirement that makes you enter your PIN code using your bank card. 

I eventually make my way to the front, place my order, and go to pay using contactless payment, only for the screen to prompt for me to enter a tip into the keypad and hit “OKAY” to acknowledge the total. The gentleman working there has no ability to enter it in himself, so I am forced to touch the PIN pad regardless.

I have been getting many, many calls over the past several months telling me my vehicle warranty is about to expire. Usually, I just hang up, but last week I had enough and decided to call their bluff. 

Me: “Hello?”

Robotic Voice: “Hi, this is [Name] with the vehicle warranty department. Our records show your car’s warranty will expire soon. Press one to speak to an agent.”

I press one.

Scammer: “Hello, can you please verify the make and model of your vehicle?” 

Me: “A 2019 white cane.” 

Scammer: *Confused* “What, miss?”

Me: *Repeating* “A 2019 white cane.”

Scammer: “Uh, what was that?”

Me: “Let me help you out. I know this is a scam. I do not own a vehicle. In fact, I am completely blind and have been my whole life. Therefore, I am not able to obtain a driver’s license, let alone buy a car.”

Scammer: *Absolutely shocked* “Uh… Um… Really?”

Me: “This is the fourth call from you I have received this week, and I have all the different numbers you use in my phone’s history. I will ask you once to remove me from your list. If you contact me again, I will file a complaint with the FCC.”

Scammer: *Click* 

The next day, they called me again! As promised, I hung up and filed a report with the FCC. I wonder if they would actually give me a warranty on my cane, though!

It is in the middle of self-isolation, social distancing, and panic buying. My small local grocery store is still open and I head down to get some desperately needed supplies. Other stores have been limiting the numbers of customers inside at any time and have had shoppers waiting outside in lines, six feet apart.

Not so this store; it’s as busy as any given time. As worrying as this is, I am wearing a mask and gloves, and I really need these supplies, so I decide I will be okay.

I get to the checkout, and the poor woman working the register looks very pale, and I can see she is desperately trying to stifle her coughs.

Me: “You shouldn’t be working if you’re sick! H***, you shouldn’t even be outside!”

Cashier: “I tried, but my boss said I had to come in.”

Me: “What?! Call your manager!”

She does so and we wait. She has to call a second time before a grumpy-looking man storms up to the cashier.

Manager: “What?!”

I interject before the poor cashier gets any more bad treatment.

Me: “Your cashier is sick. She needs to go home and self-isolate right now.”

Manager: “I need her to work! Too many people have been lazy and called in! She has to work.”

Me: “She has to do nothing! She is sick, coughing, and handling other people’s food! What you’re doing is—”

Manager: *Interrupting me* “Buy or don’t buy. You’re holding up the line.”

Realizing the manager is a lost cause, I turn to the cashier.

Me: “Go home, now. Call this number for medical advice.”

Manager: *To the cashier* “Leave and you’re fired.”

Me: “Wow, seriously? That is it.”

I call the police. They arrive surprisingly quickly and I explain the situation. They step into the store, see the cashier, see the lack of social-distancing, and approach the manager.

Officer #1: “Sir, why are there no social-distancing procedures in place? Everyone here should be at least six feet apart, with controlled entry. Also, your cashier is obviously sick; why is she not self-isolating at home?”

Manager: “Look, all these policies are ridiculous. Everyone is saying they’re sick, and I have a store to run!”

Officer #2: “They’re probably sick because you don’t have these procedures in place! Also, they are not just policies; they’re also the law.”

Me: “He also said that he would fire the cashier if she went home.”

Both officers look shocked at this and they turn to the manager.

Officer #1: “Is that true?”

The manager, for the first time, begins to realize how much s*** he might be in.

Manager: “I… uh… Look, you have to understand.”

Officer #2: “That’s it; I don’t need to hear any more.”

[Officer #2] shouts out to the entire store authoritatively.

Officer #2: “Ladies and gentlemen, please put down your shopping and leave the store immediately! This establishment is being closed due to health and safety violations!”

Manager: “What?! You can’t do that! I—”

Officer #1: “And you, you’re coming to the station.”

The manager was led away to the car, cursing and screaming. All the customers did end up leaving but took all their unpaid shopping with them anyway. The sick cashier left immediately and another member of staff closed up the store, with the officers leaving him some documentation and explaining what he should do next.

The store is still closed. I have to go further to a larger store which, thankfully, is adhering to the state-wide health and safety mandates.

This story was featured in our May 2020 roundup!

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