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We Have A Petite Problem Here

, , , , | Right | May 29, 2018

(I work at a large, well-known department store. A middle-aged woman has been stubbornly ignoring me every time I politely tell her that the plus sizes she wants are upstairs in the women’s department, and has continued uselessly shopping in the misses department, getting more and more frustrated.)

Customer: *brandishing a blouse at me* “Where are the larger sizes for this?”

Me: “That’s an XL, ma’am, which is the largest size we have in misses. We do have that brand upstairs in women’s, so we might have that same blouse or something similar. Would you like me to check for you?”

Customer: *scowls and walks away*

(A few minutes pass, and she comes back waving around another blouse, still looking angry.)

Customer: “Why don’t your clothes come in larger sizes?! I need this in a bigger size!”

Me: “Ma’am, the misses department goes from XS to XL, and 2 to 18. The larger sizes are all upstairs in the women’s department. We have a lot of the same brands up there, so I’m sure we can find you something you like.”

(The customer harrumphs and leaves again. For some inexplicable reason, she starts shopping in the petites department. After a while, she storms up to me again, clothes draped over her arms.)

Customer: “Why are all your clothes so small?! I need these in a bigger size!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is the petites department, so the clothes are going to be smaller. The larger sizes are all upstairs in the women’s department.”

Customer: *scoffs dramatically and dumps the clothes on the floor* “FINE! I’ll just go find something to wear in juniors.”

(She charged off towards the teenager section, leaving me with a pile of clothes and a dropped-open jaw.)

Eye Think Eye Have A Problem

, , , , , | Healthy | May 25, 2018

(A woman comes into the ER.)

Woman: “I got bleach in my eyes.”

Me: “All right, ma’am, we have a flushing station over here, and then the doctor will check you out.”

(She’s uncomfortable for an hour, but we get her eyes clean, the eye doctor gives the all-clear, and she leaves. Two days later, she comes back.)

Woman: “I was gardening and a palm frond stabbed me in the eye.”

(I’m starting to wonder how good our eye doctor is.)


This story is part of the World Sight Day roundup!

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Diamonds Are Not A Cheap-Skates Best Friend

, , , , | Right | May 2, 2018

(I work in the fine jewelry section of a well-known department store. Two elderly ladies, a mother and daughter, come up one day, wanting a pair of diamond studs for their very young granddaughter/great-granddaughter.)

Mother: “Which diamonds were on sale today for the $199.99 price?”

Me: “That would be these right here.”

Mother: “Oh, no, those look awful! They’re so cloudy.”

Me: “Unfortunately, those are promotional diamonds, so while they are a better price, they’re very likely to be cloudy or have visible inclusions.”

Daughter: *gesturing to another set* “These look small enough for her. How much are they?”

Me: “Let’s see… The original price is [several hundred dollars], but with your [Store Card] discount, it comes down to [price more than half off original price].”

Mother: “That’s too expensive! Isn’t there anything you can do for me, as a long-time [Store] customer?”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s the price calculated with all your [Store Card] discounts. But it is a very good price cut, more than half off. And these diamonds are a much better quality than the others.”

Mother: “Yes, I want something that looks like these, but it’s too expensive!”

Me: “Would you rather get the other pair, instead?”

Mother: “No, those look horrible. I want nice-looking diamonds for [Great-Granddaughter].”

Me: “Well, our other option is cubic zirconia. We have several studs with CZ over here. They’re made by [Famous Crystal Company] and very good quality, and they’ll give you the clear sparkle of a diamond at a lower price.”

Mother: “No, I don’t want fake diamonds! [Great-Granddaughter] needs real ones.”

Me: “I see. Well, unfortunately, those are our three options. We have the cheaper promotional diamonds studs, the higher-quality diamonds, or the CZ.”

Daughter: *impatiently* “Just buy one or don’t. Make up your mind.”

(The mother stared and grumbled over the diamonds a few more minutes, as if something would change if she waited long enough, before wandering away without buying anything. The two of them have come back for the next three sales, having word-for-word the same conversation with me about the exact same items!)

Mahu Do You Think You Are?

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 7, 2018

(My family are native Hawaiians, and we live in Hawaii. Since we work hard to keep our culture alive, it didn’t upset us when my identical twin came out to be mahu, or what other cultures would describe as transgender. While some would take hormone pills or surgery, he never does that. Instead, he feels okay with a binder, short hair, and correct clothing. While this has confused people, he has been more than happy to explain it. This happens at the beach, where the two of us decide to hang out with my female friends. Of course, one of them does get confused by my brother, so he explains it to her.)

Female Friend: “I just don’t get it. I mean, I do. But why did you guys stop believing in it?”

(Before he can explain it to her, a beach ball lands near us. He picks it up, and we see a man running up to us.)

Man: “Hey, babe, you mind throwing that here?”

Brother: *tosses the ball* “Sure thing, but I’m not a babe.”

Man: “Aw, don’t sell yourself short. Hey, how about your hot self joins my friends and me in a friendly game?”

(It’s at this point I can feel a confrontation happening, so I get up and stand right next to him.)

Me: “Hey, do you mind backing off from my brother?”

(And just like that, you can see the man’s face go from perverted to disgusted in a matter of seconds.)

Man: “That’s wrong. She doesn’t even look like a dude.”

Me: “That’s your opinion. How about you keep it to yourself?”

Brother: “I just don’t want to get any treatments. Doesn’t make me less of a man. Our culture believes in this.”

Man: “Your culture is wrong. You want to know what dictates a man or a woman? This.”

(And just like that, the man tries to touch my brother in a very personal area. I stop him by punching him before he does. He falls to the sand, and I can hear our friends behind us shrieking.)

Man: “You’re going to Hell, you know that?!”

Me: “Sorry, but we don’t believe in Hell.”

(He stomps off, and the both of us walk back to our friends. I worry about my brother being upset, but the first thing he says once we get back to our friends is:)

Brother: “And that is why we stopped believing in it.”

(We all burst out laughing, and the rest of our time at the beach was amazing.)

Wasn’t Smart To Ask

, , , , , | Right | March 29, 2018

Me: “Aloha! [Hotel] operator. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Hi, I wanted to know if you guys charge for parking, and how much?”

Me: “Yes. We charge $29 for self-parking and $36 if you are going to use our valet services.”

(This seems really high, but for Waikiki, this is pretty good.)

Guest: “Oh, but my car is going to be one of those smaller smart cars. Do I get a discount for that?”

Me: *a couple of seconds of pause to register this* “No, ma’am. The price will be the same, because you are paying for the space.”

Guest: “But it’s not as big as a regular car. There’s no discount?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the price will remain the same, as long as you park within our parking structure.”

Guest: “Well, okay. Thanks.” *obviously disappointed and agitated, hangs up*