Mission: Impossible

, | | Right | August 3, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysTHROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s the most unrealistic customer request you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!

Customer: “I just locked my key in my car in front of the shop.”

Me: *I pick up some stuff* “Not a problem. I’ll pop it open for $5.00.”

Customer: “What are you going to do with that stuff?”

Me: “Open your car.”

Customer: “It’s a brand new Mercedes. I just drove it here from the dealer—you can’t touch it!”

Me: “Then how do I open it?”

Customer: “That’s your problem.”

Me: “Actually it’s not; I didn’t lock the key in your car.”

Customer: “You have to open it.”

Me: “Watch me not open it.”

Customer: “Okay, then, but if you make any scratch or mark at all then you will have to pay Mercedes to repaint the whole car. That will cost thousands.”

Me: “So, If I’m successful I get $5.00, but if I make the smallest error it will cost me thousands of dollars?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your car might just be there forever.”

1 Thumbs
13,223
VOTES

How To Scam A Scammer, Part 2

, | | Right | July 6, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysTHROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s a crazy refund requests have you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!

 

(Note; electronic ignition keys sell for $25 to $90)

Customer: “I want to return this key. Here is the receipt.”

(The electronic key is worn from use; the receipt is 2 years old)

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, let me go out to your car and see what the problem is.”

Customer: “I sold that car.”

Me: “Okay, but it looks like you’ve been using the key for a long time. It must have worked.”

Customer: “Well it did work, but I sold the car and I don’t need it anymore, so I want my money back.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry sir, but we sell keys; we do not rent them. When you sell the thing the keys fit in, you either give the keys to the new owner or toss them. And even if we did rent keys, the rent for two years would be more than the purchase cost–so actually you would owe us money.”

*customer runs out the door*

1 Thumbs
5,096
VOTES

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | November 8, 2015

(After working for another company for 45 years, I have purchased a key shop and am now the owner. Needless to say all contacts with my previous employer are gone. My cell phone rings.)

Me: “This is the key shop. I am [My Name].”

Caller: “Has your insurance changed?”

Me: “Pardon? What insurance?”

Caller: “Your insurance. Has it changed?”

Me: “What insurance?”

Caller: “Has your insurance changed?”

Me: “What kind of insurance? I have just started this business. Are you asking about my business insurance or my locksmith insurance? I just received my locksmith insurance renewal notice last week but have not opened it yet.”

Caller: “No, no, your insurance. Did it change?”

Me: “What kind of insurance are you asking about? I have two cars with insurance on them, home insurance, life insurance, and others, but my wife takes care of them.”

Caller: “Your insurance. We need to know if it changed.”

Me: “And who is ‘We’? Who are you?”

Caller: “I am from [Medical Office]. You have an appointment next week so we checked your insurer and they told us that you no longer have a policy with them.”

Me: “Well, no. I no longer work for the company that contracts with them for employee medical insurance.”

Caller: “So are you canceling your appointment?”

Me: “Nope, I am 65 and now have Medicare and also supplemental insurance. I am bringing my new cards to my appointment with you.”

Caller: “Why didn’t you just say that before?!”

1 Thumbs
1,096
VOTES

Customer Variant #3: The Penny Picker

| | Right | July 19, 2008

(Everyone has had this customer. They must clone them somewhere.)

Me: “That will be $2.88.”

(The customer puts a dollar on the counter and out of her purse pulls a snap-top coin pouch and I know I am screwed. She starts rooting in it, pulling out one coin at a time.)

Customer: “5, 10, 20, 25, 26, 27…”

(I void out her sale and wait on the next customer. I ring him up and give him his change.)

Customer: “Why did you wait on him? I was first.”

Me: “Well, he had the mystical ability to hand me 3 dollar bills for his key and you are still trying to come up with $2.88, a coin at a time.”

Customer: “Now you made me lose count! 5, 10, 20, 25, 26, 27…”

(I wait on several more customers.)

Customer: “Young man…” (I am 59, btw.) “… can you tell me if this is a penny or a dime?”

Me: “It is a dime.”

Customer: “Oh, I want to get rid of my pennies…” *puts dime back in pouch, starts rooting in it again* “… 76, 77, 78…”

(I continue to wait on more customers until after what seems to be an eon…)

Customer: “Oh, I only have $2.86. I will have to give you another dollar.” *starts emptying purse on counter*

Me: “No, no, that will be just fine… $2.86, no problem.”

Customer: “But I am 2 cents short!”

Me: “Trust me, not a problem.”

1 Thumbs
2,904
VOTES

Visions Of Dogs Chasing Their Own Tails

| | Right | June 10, 2008

Customer: “This electronic key does not work in my car.”

Me: “Does it turn in the ignition?”

Customer: “Yes, but it will not start.”

(I put the original and copy key in my magic decoder box and they check out fine.)

Me: “Well, let me have a look… where is your car?”

Customer: “At home.”

Me: “Well, you have to drive it here.”

Customer: “But the key does not work.”

Me: “Use your original key.”

Customer: “That does not work either.”

Me: “Okay, let me explain how this works. I make a copy of your key. If your key does not work, then the new key will not work either.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Let me put it like this. If you copy a paper with misspelled words the copier will not correct the spelling, because it’s a copy! What happens when you try the key?”

Customer: “The dash says ‘Code not found’.”

Me: “Well, then the problem is the car, not the key. It is not reading the code on the key.”

Customer: “So make me another.”

Me: “The problem is the car. Are you going to pay when the next one does not work?”

Customer: “No, I’m not going to pay for a key that does not work!”

Me: “So you want me to keep making keys for you until one works or I run out of them. But you will not pay for any of the keys that do not work even though the problem is your car, not the key.”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m just not that stupid.”

 

1 Thumbs
3,806
VOTES
Page 1/212
Next »