(It’s my last day working part-time at this small-chain grocery, as I’m about to start a full-time job at the local library. Since we’re a smaller establishment frequented by older folks, it’s not uncommon for some customers to tip the workers for doing a little extra like carrying bags to the car, or just being very polite, so we’re allowed to keep extra money that customers give us. I’m ringing through this jovial old man who is joking with his buddy the whole transaction and generally making everyone smile. Near the end of scanning his items, he makes a “wager.”)

Customer: “Double or nothing, how much do you think my total will be? I’ll pay you that.”

Me: *playing along* “About… $37?”

(I have worked here long enough to know the general price of common items by heart, and many of his things are common. Lo and behold, his total is $37.43!)

Me: “Wow, lucky guess!”

Customer: “I’ll say!”

(The customer pulls out a 100-dollar bill after I hand him his bags, and I make the change. I count it back to him, and he proceeds to hand it BACK, plus extra to even out at $75.)

Customer: “Have a good night, Lady Luck!”

(I finished the last hour of my last shift on Cloud 9!)

(I work at the self-service checkout. A mother and her young son, probably around two years old, come and start scanning their items. The son is very energetic and he starts to climb up on the part of the machine that weighs the items. A messages pops up on the screen saying that there’s an unknown item in the bagging area.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, but this part of the machine is actually a scale, so when your son is climbing around on it, it gets all confused. You won’t be able to continue to scan until he’s down from there.”

(The mom doesn’t speak very good Danish and is obviously a little confused, but she grabs her son and puts him on the floor. He immediately runs out of the self-service area and stands at the front end of the store. The mother looks after him, but then continues her scanning, so I follow the boy to keep an eye on him. Usually, kids will run over to the bakery department to look at cakes, but not this boy. When he sees I’m following him, he starts to run, laughing, towards the store exit. Even though I’m not supposed to leave the self-service area, I decide to follow him, to see if he is actually going to leave the store. I doubt that he will, but our store is placed on a very busy street that has a lot of both bikes and cars. The boy runs out of the store, and I start running after him. I almost lose him out on the sidewalk, because there are people everywhere, but I manage to grab him right before he enters the busy bike lane. I pick him up, and he grins at me. I carry him back into the store and give him to his mother.)

Me: “You better hold on to him. I just got to him before he ran out onto the road.”

Mother: “Oh, okay.”

(She picked him up and held him for the rest of the transaction. I didn’t get a thank-you.)

A coworker’s husband, who is a department head at another grocery store, had a customer come through the cash lane with just about $50 worth of groceries. Her card was declined. She started crying and asked him to try it again. It was declined again. She explained that the problem with the card should have been fixed, and she didn’t know what to do, because she and her kids hadn’t eaten a real meal in three days.

Anyone in a position of power that works in retail has heard this type of story a million times, and at least 999,990 of them are scam artists trying to get stuff for free.

She asked him to hold her items while she made some phone calls in a last-ditch attempt to fix whatever was blocking her from her money. She called home. A kid answered. He could hear the voice on the other end say excitedly, “Mommy! Are we going to eat for Christmas?”

He decided to take the risk, and paid for her food, with several coworkers pitching in, which made her cry harder than before. I think of that family every year and I hope they’re doing better now!

(A customer walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

(The customer gives me a smile.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

(The customer puts a dollar bill on the counter, puts a bunch of coins on top of it, and slides it towards me.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

(The customer slides the money closer to me.)

Me: “What is it you want me to do with this?”

(The guy gives me a blank stare.)

Customer: “I want a five dollar bill for that.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I open the drawer, count his change, and give him a five dollar bill. He slides the bill back to me and stares again.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Can I buy five dollars of lottery with this?”

Me: “Oh, sure. You have to say that, though.”

Customer: “You couldn’t tell?”

Me: “No.”

(The guy gives me a blank stare.)

Me: “You could have paid with the change, too.”

Customer: “But I needed five dollars for lottery.”

Me: “The coin came to five dollars, though.”

Customer: “I guess it did.”

(I slide him the lottery ticket.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything else?”

(The customer walks away.)

This story is part of the Lottery roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Satisfying Stories Where The Customer Was Proven Wrong!

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Read the Lottery roundup!

(All of our self-checkout lanes are currently out of order. We have signs up on each one of the screens explaining this, as well as a rack of plastic bags placed on each one to discourage use. Most customers, however, still attempt to check out at these lanes. A customer walks up to self-checkout, noticing the bags in the way. She makes a face, removes the bags, and attempts to scan her items at a black screen. She does this several times before coming to my lane.)

Customer: “I couldn’t use the self-checkout!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They’re broken. They have been for a month now. That’s what the signs are for.”

Customer: “…”