(It’s the day before Canada Day and the store is insanely busy. It’s going smoothly, however, until, this customer comes to my register. He has already spent about five minutes doing “unprepared” price matching: not knowing where something is, not highlighting, circling or flagging the items that he wants to match, not writing down page numbers of items on sale.)

Me: *coming to the end of the transaction* “So your total today is [relatively low price].”

Customer: “What? That can’t be right.”

Me: “Well, there is tax on the popsicles and ice cream.”

Customer: “Can you check that?”

Me: “You want me to check the prices on everything?” *at this point, a number of significantly long lines have started to form*

Customer: “No, can you calculate that it’s correct? Did you price match the cherries right?”

(I hold back a sigh and pull out the register calculator, adding everything, including tax. Unsurprisingly it’s the same total as what I and the computer say it is. I show the customer and he skeptical accepts it.)

Customer: “Well, can I see a supervisor or a manager about it? I didn’t think it would be this much, so maybe I can get a discount?”

Me: *taken aback by the question, but calls the supervisor down* “All right, she’ll be right down.”

(My supervisor comes down and is thoroughly taken aback by the question like I was, but basically says the same thing I did: the computer doesn’t make mistakes and that’s the price of his groceries. Finally he concedes.)

Customer: “All right, fine. But I’m gonna calculate this myself and if it’s wrong, I’m coming back later and I want a full refund if I’m right.”

Me: *handing his change* “Have a good weekend, sir.”

(He never came back later.)

(I’m at a grocery store’s prepared food section with my parents to get dinner. My mom mentions that there’s a deal going on since it’s Thursday.)

Mom: “What’s the deal for today?”

Employee: “It’s ten wings for $7.99.”

Mom: “And what’s the deal with that?”

Employee: “…You get ten wings for 7.99.”

(Both my dad and I burst out laughing. Turns out my mom was asking if the wings came with a side or not. The employee was very good and continued to humour us while we got our food.)

(The first Tuesday of every month is “10% off Tuesday.” I amv working the customer service desk when a customer brings me his receipt.)

Customer: “The cashier never took off my 10%.”

Me: *reading the receipt* “I’m sorry, sir, but you only spent $25. The promotion requires a minimum purchase of $50.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Where does it say that?!”

(I walk exactly three feet and point to the fine print of the giant sign on the window, which clearly reads “with purchase of $50 or more in a single transaction.”)

Customer: “How do you expect anyone to read that? It’s so small!”

Me: “It… it really isn’t.”

(My store does a service where people order online, and an employee shops it for them to pick up later. I had just started my first order of the day and am grabbing some items from the frozen section when a customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hi, do you know where the [Brand] burgers are?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t know exactly where they are, but they should be somewhere either in this aisle or a couple aisles over. I know that most of our burgers are in the freezer at the end of the aisle.”

Customer: “Well I just came from [Other Store] and they didn’t have them!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know if we even have them, but they would probably be with the other burgers if we have them.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “Don’t you work in frozen?”

Me: “No, I go around the entire store shopping items for people who order online, so I don’t know any specific part of the store too well; I’m sorry again.”

Customer: “Can you find them for me?”

Me: “I can look around the aisle for you and let you know if I see what you’re looking for, but I can’t guarantee that we have them.”

Customer: “Then why do you even work here?!”

(The customer then walked off and started complaining about me to her husband. Poor guy seemed to have had to deal with that attitude far too much. I ran into her one more time in the store and she just sneered at me.)

When products get recalled, our managers print out a copy of the information regarding the recalled products for the service desk. We’ve had quite a few recalled products lately. One was front page news — bacteria outbreak — when it happened, but a few others were merely typos on the labels. This particular event, I was working the desk with my little sister when we got handed a recall notice.

Notice: “These [breaded oysters] are being recalled because some packages contained broccoli instead of oysters.”

We still haven’t figured out how anyone could mistake broccoli for oysters, but this happened.