Let’s Hope They Found Them

, , , , , | General | November 10, 2018

(I am a clerk at a well-known grocery store. I’m fixing a storage bin and cleaning the area when I hear a woman with her kids behind me.)

Woman: “Kids! We need to go find your daddy’s nuts!”

(Upon hearing this I smirk a bit, put everything down, walk into the back of the store, and begin laughing for a couple minutes.)

Old Man Behaves Like Big Baby When Confronted With A Real One

, , , , , | Working | November 9, 2018

We just returned from the hospital after the birth of our son. The birth itself started at 5:00 pm and took over 24 hours. Naturally, even after one week in the hospital my wife is merely holding on, trying to get as much sleep at a time and generally moving like a robot with a near-dead battery.

Nevertheless, we decide to go grocery shopping; after a week in the hospital we have almost nothing fresh left at home.

The baby is not very content with the first drive in the stroller and decides that he definitely needs to be held in someone’s arms — otherwise he screams his head off — so I carry him through the store, which, of course, means my wife needs to handle all the produce.

Due to our lack of mobility we decide to use a traditional register as opposed to the self-scanning we regularly use. While my wife is very slowly putting the products on the conveyor belt, an old couple behind us simply starts to load their items on the belt, which means we can no longer place our remaining items, as the belt moves much faster than my wife. Luckily, she manages to put most of it on the belt and simply tells the cashier what’s left in the cart so she can ring it up manually.

After she manages to grab the wallet out of my pocket and pay for our stuff, we start loading the items into our stroller, which is empty due to the baby in my arms.

Naturally, the old man behind us decides it’s now his turn to bag his items, as well, and he literally pushes past my wife while mumbling, “I need to get my groceries, too, you know!”

The cashier, an older woman I never perceived as very friendly before, sternly looks at my wife and tells her to go home and sit down for a while. She literally leaves the old guy’s wife standing there waiting to pay for her items, exits her booth, and helps my wife to load the remaining items into our cart.

I have never ever seen any cashier bagging items in this country where the customer is expected to do this himself. Thank you very much for the support in our difficult situation. The longer I am a parent, the more I feel that only people who have kids themselves know how tough certain situations are.

A Sure Way To Cheese Them Off

, , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(Our grocery store recently added coupons to other stores on the back of our receipts. It helps offset the price of till paper, because other companies are paying us for the advertisement space. Apparently this is a brand-new concept to some. A customer places five blocks of cheese on the counter.)

Me: “All righty, sir, that will be $23.54.”

Customer: “I have a coupon.”

(I start looking for anything indicating a discount, which some of our receipts will print, if you buy gas from our adjacent gas bar. He reaches over and tugs the receipt out of my hand, and turns it backwards.)

Me: *immediately aware of where this is going* “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t see anything—”

Customer: “Right there! $20 off in-store purchase!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, this is for [Family-Owned Music Store], not our store.”

Customer: *tugs the receipts over again* “It’s says, ‘[Our Store],’ on the front! Right there!”

(I kept trying to explain the advertisements on the back to him, and he kept getting angrier, until I finally snapped, “It’s not our store!” He then grabbed his cheese and marched off in a huff, and I was forced follow him because I needed to rescan the cheese to get it off my till.)

A Healthy Conversation About Religion

, , , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(I’m a cashier. A customer sneezes several times as he approaches one of the self-checkout stations.)

Me: “Ah, gesundheit, sir!”

Customer: “You know you shouldn’t be saying that to people, miss.”

(A little perplexed, I stop making rounds around the self-checkout stations and turn to look at him.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? What should I not be saying?”

Customer: “You shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to people.”

Me: “Eh, I didn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ though, sir; I said, ‘Gesundheit.’”

Customer: “I heard what you said; ‘gesundheit’ means ‘God bless you.’” *beginning to get irked*

(It takes me a moment to process what the man’s just said to me, since I know for a fact that “Gesundheit” means something like, “Good health to you.” But before I have a chance to respond to the man, he starts off on a tirade about how he can’t stand the fact that people have to shove matters like religion and God onto him and others all the time and can’t keep their opinions to themselves and whatnot. Meanwhile, I’m standing there, stock-still and quiet, as I’m holding my handheld monitor to my chest, definitely feeling a bit more than dumbfounded at what I’m hearing, all because I said a simple phrase! At some point I finally find a break in the man’s fervent outburst and manage to get a word in.)

Me: “Um, sir? ‘Gesundheit’ doesn’t mean ‘God bless you.’ It’s German for ‘Good health to you.’”

Customer: *stares at me again* “You sure about that?”

Me: “Completely so, sir.”

Customer: “It has nothing to do with God.”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you know, you still shouldn’t say, ‘God bless you,’ to someone.”

Me: *actually feels my eyelid twitch a bit at this* “Yes, sir, I know that. Anyway, if you should at all require assistance while checking out, sir, let me know, okay? I’d be more than happy to help you.”

(I had to walk away from the man ASAP as I had a feeling that he would continue to incessantly drone on about why you shouldn’t say, “God bless you,” to someone when they sneeze. Honestly, had I known the man was going to get so cantankerous about me saying something with polite intention when he sneezed I’d have just stayed quiet! I’m not even religious, anyway!)

Regroup When You Can’t Recoup

, , , , , | Right | November 8, 2018

(The store I work at has a “super double coupon week” every so often. However, there is a limit of twenty coupons per store card per day.)

Me: “Find everything okay?”

Customer: “Oh, yes.”

(I scan her store card and she tells me how she wishes she had more time to shop, but she has to pick up her grandkids from school. I see her with a big stack of coupons.)

Me: “Are you aware there is a twenty-coupon limit?”

Customer: “There is?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “I didn’t know that. I never coupon, and I don’t have time to go through and pick out what I want.”

Me: “I can get a manager over to void the whole transaction.”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I call the manager on duty over.)

Manager: “What’s the issue?”

Customer: “I didn’t know there was a twenty-coupon limit. I spent over two hours shopping and I need to get my grandkids!”

Me: “She wants the whole transaction voided.”

(The manager voided the transaction, and we gave her overflowing cart to a bagger to put back. The manager ran to catch the woman and give her the coupons back, but she didn’t want any of them back.)

 

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