I’m not someone who adapts very well to changes. I get upset if a site I regularly use changes its design after five years of having it one certain way, and if I find a style I like, I will stay with it until I personally get tired of it. I’m not someone who follows “trends” at all and never have been, even in my teens.

With that said, I find myself having to shop for my clothes online since most of the popular clothing boutiques and stores don’t carry the kinds of clothes that I like.

I am casually shopping for groceries and a security guard stops me near the door.

Security Guard: “Sorry to bother you, but I just had to say, I love those jeans. It’s a real blast from the past! I haven’t seen that in almost twenty years! They used to be really popular with college kids back in 2004, 2005!”

A couple of days later, I am getting a haircut in a salon, and someone passes by.

Stranger: “D***, 2000 is back!”

They start singing a popular Backstreet Boys song.

Needless to say, I quite soon find myself in a clothing store, and when I am asked if I am looking for anything in particular:

Me: “Just updating my wardrobe before I start turning into my parents!”

Customer: “And I also want a pound of white American cheese.”

Me: “I’m afraid we’re sold out of that kind.”

Customer: “What? You mean you don’t have any more?!”

Me: “Yeah. It’s on sale, so everyone’s been buying it. But we still have the yellow American.”

Customer: “No! I want white American! I want white cheese! NOT N***** CHEESE!”

Me: “Uh… you know what, I just…”

I walked outside and stared plaintively into the horizon for several minutes.

Customer: “Is this blue crab? It says red crab on the sign, but I think it’s blue crab.”

Me: “It’s red crab.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “You should make it more clear for your customers.”

I work at a grocery store as a cashier, and our lanes are right next to each other. I’m in the second to last one, so there’s a lane behind me I can see clearly.

I currently have no one, so I’m leaning against my register facing the one behind me, talking to my coworker before she leaves. Cue a youngish lady with a small kid and a cart full of things.

Lady: “All right, we’ll go to this lane, then.” *Starts unloading*

Kid: “I can help!”

The kid starts handing things to Mom, including handing her eggs.

Lady: “Thank you, honey! But I’m not sure if these are actually good and fresh or not, so I have to check.”

She cracks an egg on the edge of her cart, letting it leak all over the floor.

Me: *Attempting to follow customer service* “Would you like us to get you a new one?”

Lady: “Oh, it’s fine! Only one is missing, but there’s a big mess on the floor now.”

She rolled her cart through it to give it to the bagger.

I cleaned it to the best of my ability so my poor coworker wouldn’t have to, but it still didn’t change the fact of how irritated we were at the fact that a lady “had to check the freshness of her eggs” this way.

Related:
Was Not Egg-specting That

Customer: “I bought a turkey a couple of days ago. I’m looking at your thermometer; it says, like, thirty-three. Does it have to stay at that temp?”

Me: “My cases run really cold. You don’t have to do that; you just need to keep it refrigerated.”

Customer: “Crap. Really?”

Me: “Um… yes. It needs to be kept under refrigeration.”

Customer: “I’ve just had it sitting on my kitchen table.”

Me: “For two days?!”

Customer: “I put it in a freezer bag.”