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Pickling Her Way Right Into A Pickle

, , , , , | Legal | May 9, 2022

I work in a grocery store. A lady came into the store, broke a glass pickle jar, and then stepped on it until she sliced her foot open. She threatened to sue us.

She was later charged with fraud because she was supposed to be on “bed rest” due to an injury. She forgot there was video footage, so she didn’t get anything, and she had to pay back all her fraudulent earnings.

A Real Cabbage Patch Kid!

, , , , , | Right | May 6, 2022

When I was little, the cashier in the small-town grocery store was a friend of my mom’s. They were concerned because I lost a lot of weight. Mom didn’t have a scale at home that would weigh me, so she and her friend thought the new digital scale on the register seemed like a good option.

It was accurate, but the register required a product code to get the weight, and they were so excited that it worked that the friend forgot to clear that “item”. My mom paid for a baby-sized cabbage! She got home before she realized it!

Cart That Harassing Behavior Right Out Of Here

, , , , , , | Working | May 4, 2022

I’m a freshman in college. One of our baggers, a guy who recently graduated college, always comes to my register just to chat. A customer with a very large order has come to my line. My coworker is standing in the bagging area, trying to start a conversation, not paying attention to the growing pile of groceries that I’m scanning. My customer, an older lady, is still unloading at the other end of the register.

Me: “[Coworker], start bagging or go away.”

He laughs.

Coworker: “It’s cute when you’re frustrated!”

I let out an annoyed sigh and start scanning with one hand and bagging with the other. He keeps throwing comments at me, laughing at his own jokes. My customer finishes unloading and shoves her cart into the bagging area with force. The bagger jumps out of the way before it hits him.

Coworker: “HEY!”

My customer starts grabbing the already bagged items and loading her own cart. She gives my coworker a nasty look.

Customer: *Loudly* “Young man, are you going to help your cashier or keep striking out with her?”

I restrain my laughter with great difficulty. My coworker silently starts bagging.

Customer: “That’s what I thought.”

She pays. I hand her the receipt with a HUGE smile.

Me: “Here is your receipt, ma’am. Thank you so much.”

Customer: “You’re welcome, dear. Have a wonderful day!”

Coworker: “Can I help you to your car?”

Customer: “NO!”

She grabs her cart and walks out. I snort.

Me: “She told you!”

Coworker: “Shut up.”

I see our manager emerge from the front office. When she catches someone goofing off in front of customers, she comes down hard.

Manager: *In a stern tone* “[Coworker]! CART DUTY!”

Coworker: “But it’s hot outside and I’m helping [My Name]!”

Manager: “No, you’re not. Go get carts. [My Name], I’ll find you a different bagger. “

I burst out laughing as he headed to the parking lot.

That’s One Heavy Burden

, , , , , | Working | May 3, 2022

Manager: “I don’t need this albatross around my neck like the Sword of Damocles!”

Me: “That’s the most pretentious mixed metaphor I’ve ever heard.”

No Soup For You! Part 5

, , , , , , | Right | May 2, 2022

The phone rings.

Me: “Hello, [Grocery Store], how can I help today?”

Caller: “Tell me about your soups.”

Me: “Did you want our canned soups, our soup of the day, or the local prepacked soup?”

Caller: “Oh! You know what?! I bought some the other day. Let me grab it and you can tell me more about it!” *Her phone rustles* “Okay, here it is.”

There’s a long silence.

Me: “…umm?”

Caller: “Could you let me know more about this?”

Me: “Ma’am… I can’t see what you are holding.”

Caller: “What?! Are you blind?!”

Me: “You know what? I may actually be visually impaired, but at least I can understand how a telephone works.”

Caller: “…oh, God!” *Click*

Related:
No Soup For You!, Part 4
No Soup For You!, Part 3
No Soup For You!, Part 2
No Soup For You!