Mayo America Great Again

, , , , , | | Right | May 13, 2019

Customer: “Do you have any mayonnaise packets?”

Me: “Sorry, we’re out right now.”

Customer: “YOU’RE OUT?! HOW CAN YOU BE OUT OF MAYONNAISE?! WHAT KIND OF DELI IS THIS?!”

(She throws the food she was holding at me and stomps away.)

Me: “Well, that was a bit of an overreaction.”

Coworker: “Dude. Old, white people have nothing in their lives but church, mayonnaise, and Trump. You literally just took away a third of her entire existence.”

With Every Breath, It Gets More Hurtful

, , , , , , | | Related | May 12, 2019

(My youngest brother is thirteen and a very sweet kid. He can be a bit overwhelming at first; he’s very energetic and loves to talk your ear off with fifty different topics all at once. Despite this, my family and I love him dearly. He has some mental damage done from seizures he had as a baby, so he’s certainly “different” to others, but to us he’s normal. Most people in our family accepted him right away when they met him, thinking he’s a sweetheart… Some didn’t — not right away, at least. One day, my cousin, about four years older than my brother, visits from out of state to see us and our grandparents. I offer to drive her and my brother to the store as they need something. This happens while we’re there.)

Brother: “Oh, oh! [My Name], look, look! This shirt has a Minecraft creeper on it! I want it.”

Me: “It’s 30 bucks! I don’t have that money on me right now, bud. Sorry.”

(He’s a bit upset but walks it off. He tends to mumble to himself to let off steam. He’s mumbling something about getting money himself for it, and I can hear him. So can [Cousin].)

Cousin: “Um, excuse me?!”

(Both my brother and I look at her.)

Cousin: “What did you just say?! Under your breath?”

Brother: “N-Nothing…”

Cousin: “I know you said something. What was it?”

Brother: “I… I just wanted the shirt…”

Cousin: “Okay, so you act like a f****** baby because she said no?”

Me: “Woah, woah. Calm down, [Cousin].”

Brother: “N-No… I wanted it but… I can wait for it… I just said that I could get money myself.”

Cousin: “Yeah, okay, sure. You need to stop acting like a f****** baby. Grow up! You’re too old for Minecraft, anyway. Get over it.”

Brother: “But I like it. It’s fun and I play with friends.”

Cousin: “You’re too old! Grow up. Your stupid friends are probably younger than you. Why do you act like such a baby?!”

Brother: “I just–”

Cousin: “No excuses! [My Name], your brother is so immature. What the h*** is wrong with him?”

Me: “[Cousin], you don’t need to make a scene. I heard him and he said nothing bad. You don’t need to be insulting him like this.”

Cousin: “Yeah, well, it’s not like it’s my fault he’s so [disability slur].”

(That’s when I stare at her, unsure of what to say. My brother tears up and runs off, about ready to cry.)

Me: “Excuse me?! It’s not his fault… You have no right to act this way towards him.”

Cousin: “This is why he acts spoiled. You’re a f****** idiot for giving him what he wants.”

(She stormed off towards the checkout with whatever she happened to pick up while I ran off to look for my brother, who was crying in the toy aisle. I tried to calm him down, letting him know I’d talk with [Grandparents] when we got home. He accepted that and walked with me towards [Cousin] who looked impatient. The drive home was silent, save for a few sniffs from my brother. I tried to explain the situation to my grandparents, but [Cousin] kept interrupting and, in the end, my grandparents scolded my brother for his behavior and me for allowing him to act like that. [Cousin] was smug about it, too. My brother and I went home and I refuse to speak to my cousin, who has tried to talk to me like nothing happened since.)

Unfiltered Story #149721

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 12, 2019

Customer with accent: Where are the naughty bars?
Me:….I’m sorry what?
Customer: Naughty bars!
Me:… Oh! Nutty bars, isle 2.
(Not even my strangest encounter all day)

In The Future Cars Will Run On Carbs

, , , , | | Right | May 10, 2019

(We host an annual fundraising dinner for our high school band, and we serve a lot of spaghetti. My dad’s a longtime supporter and one day stumbles across something interesting. About a month before the dinner, one brand of spaghetti goes on special at local grocery store, and at the same time there’s a coupon that can be used in conjunction if you also buy the same brand sauce. With both, you can get extra “points” on your card for the purchase, which can be redeemed for gas. Because of this, if you get the spaghetti and sauce and then donate it, you actually end up with a slight profit in gas savings. The only issue is that there is a maximum of six boxes of spaghetti per customer. A few calls later, and everyone associated with the marching band comes and buys six boxes of spaghetti and some of the sauce, donating it to the dinner, and earning their free gas. My dad is checking out when the manager comes over.)

Manager: “Excuse me, but you’re the tenth person today who has bought just spaghetti and sauce and used the same coupon. May I ask if there’s a reason?”

(My dad explains it, and then with pen and paper does the math to show how it works out. The manager thinks this is great and says they will gladly hang flyers for the dinner, then leaves. But the cashier is gobsmacked.)

Cashier: “Can I take that paper where you did all that math? I want to give it to my kids to show them when they ask why they have to study math in school. Imagine, free gas for spaghetti!”

Will You Can It!

, , , | | Right | May 9, 2019

(In Michigan, cans and bottles can be turned in to a recycling center for a credit of $0.10 each. As customers, we pay a deposit to cover this credit — i.e. a 12-pack of pop would cost an extra $1.20 when you buy it — so it highly encourages you to recycle to get your money back. However, it’s a great way to make some quick money if you can get ahold of someone else’s cans and bottles. As such, our youth group is knocking on doors asking for people’s cans and bottles to raise money for an overseas trip. I have to leave early to go to work at a grocery store, and most recycling centers are inside of grocery stores. Part of my job is to fix these machines when they break and to empty the big bins in the back when they fill up. When a bin gets full, the sorting machines stop running, and we have a doorbell customers press that rings a buzzer up front as our center is in the back of the store. Since they know I’m working that day, the youth group brings all that they’ve collected from hours of knocking on doors to my store during my shift. There are about 20 kids and adult leaders, and each of them has a cart — some two carts — full of cans and bottles as they come into my store. This happens a few minutes later. Buzzer rings.)

Supervisor: *to me* “Can you get that? Those people brought in so many carts. You might just want to stay back there. They might fill up the aluminum bin by themselves.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they just want to see me in my uniform. I’ll probably be back.”

(I go back and say hey. I check the bins and they’re all fairly empty, so I go back up front. However, the buzzer rings again, and this time they lay on it and it won’t stop buzzing, annoying cashiers and customers alike up front.)

Supervisor: *yelling on the loudspeaker heard throughout the store* “To the customers in the bottle return room, we hear you and are sending help. Please stop pressing the doorbell! It is very annoying and we’re trying to work here.”

(They still rang it a bunch of times until I got back there and scolded them for embarrassing me. They did have a jammed machine, but that was a bit much. To top it all off, it was one of the adult leaders pressing the button so much, not another teenager.)

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