She Is Sooo Not Ready For “How Are You?”

, , , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

Our grocery store has a script for cashiers to follow, including such questions as asking whether the customer found everything, if they have a points card, and so on. It has been in place for years, and most regular customers have their answers prepared beforehand. A woman with grey hair approaches my cash register and unloads her groceries without a word.

Me: “Hello!”

The customer begins looking through her purse. I don’t mind, as sometimes my voice isn’t loud enough to be heard over the machines. I try again, louder.

Me: “How are you today?”

The customer continues to rummage, ignoring me, so I continue bagging her groceries. When I look up again, I find her holding a cue card a few inches from my face.

Customer’s Card: “Please do not ask me if I found everything I was looking for. I find it insulting to my intelligence.”

Me: *Pause* “Okay.”

Customer: “Thank you. I understand you’re supposed to ask, but it’s just so insulting!”

I finished the transaction in silence and the customer left. When I asked my manager about it later, I learned that she is well-known for this. According to her, being asked if she “found everything she was looking for” means that we think she is incapable of locating things on her own. I stopped seeing her a few months later; presumably, she began taking her business to a less insulting store!

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Shut Up And Take These Drugs!

, , , , , , | Working | May 18, 2020

I am a customer service manager in a grocery store with an in-store pharmacy. I am working at the customer service center when the courier who delivers our prescription drugs drops the totes on my counter.

Courier: “Here you go.”

I point toward the pharmacy.

Me: “The pharmacy is just around the corner.”

Courier: “You need to take these.”

Me: “No, I don’t. You need to take them to the pharmacy.”


Me: “No, I do not. It would be against the law for me to take them.”


Me: “I am not authorized to handle narcotics. You need to take them to the pharmacy. It’s just a few more feet that way.”

Again, I point towards the pharmacy.

Courier: “TAKE THEM!”

Me: “NO! Go around the corner!”

Finally, he picked up the totes and headed to the pharmacy. A few minutes later, he walked by my counter and gave me the stink eye. I went over to the pharmacy and told the pharmacist what had happened. Her eyes got very wide, and then she got on the phone immediately to the courier.

The next day, I was on my way in to work when I saw the same courier. I got the stink eye again.

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So Not Engaging In This Nonsense

, , , , , | Romantic | May 18, 2020

I’m a woman doing my weekly grocery shop, wearing a T-shirt with a character from a popular webcomic. A man steps in front of me — ignoring the social distancing guidelines of two metres — and starts talking to me.

Man: “Hi there! I like your shirt.”

I move away from him.

Me: “Thank you.”

Man: “Would you like to get coffee or something sometime?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Man: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m engaged.”

Man: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “I don’t see a ring.”

Me: “As it happens, my fiancee asked me to marry her about two months ago. We planned to visit my parents to tell them in person and collect my deceased grandmother’s engagement ring from their safety deposit box for me to wear. Obviously, that’s not possible right now.”

Man: “You could have just said you’re a lesbian instead of wasting my time.”

Me: “And you could have just accepted ‘no, thank you’ right off the bat, but here we are.”

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Puppy Love In The Time Of Corona

, , , , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

During the start of the panic buying, I need to go to the grocery store. I happen to be walking near an older man who has a service dog.

He and I are acquaintances, so I know his service dog is to detect serious allergic reactions and help him avoid them. His allergies are to things that are often “accidentally” omitted or lied about on labels, such as, for example, when something is labeled as gluten-free on the front, but on the back, a gluten-producing substance is listed. The dog is dutifully sniffing the edges of boxes of produce, and the man is sometimes directing the dog to sniff specific products.

A mother with a baby in the cart and a three- to four-year-old girl holding onto the side of the cart come from around the corner. They happen to join us in this aisle and the little girl gets excited, gasping loudly, almost shouting.

Girl: “A PUPPY!”

The little girl lets go of the cart and starts to run towards the service dog. I immediately prepare to intercept by “incidentally” moving my cart sideways in the aisle. The mother calls out, sternly but quietly.

Mom: “Come back here right now, [Girl]! Remember what I said before about approaching strangers?”

The girl returns to holding onto the side of the cart, looking anxious.

Mom: “Not only could you get sick if you got too close to a sick person, but also… You see how the dog is wearing a vest? That means the dog is working. You can’t bother the dog when they’re working, just like with your dad when he’s in the office at home.”

The girl is disappointed but not sulking too much.

Girl: “Oh, okay.”

The man with the service dog smiled at the mother. Relieved that he wouldn’t be bothered, I returned to my own shopping. Lady, thank you for doing your best to keep your kid from distracting service dogs and for reminding your child about safety during an outbreak!

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Unfiltered Story #194407

, , , | Unfiltered | May 18, 2020

(A woman comes up to me while I am stocking shelves)

Woman: *holding two chocolate bars from the same brand* These two chocolate bars have exactly the same ingredients, except one says dark cacao and the other says raw cacao. So what’s the difference between them?

Me: Um… one has dark cacao… And the other has raw cacao?

Woman: Oh, okay. Thanks. *walks away*

(I wanted to bang my head on a wall)