Exploding Over Turkeys Happens Outside The Holidays

, , , , , | Right | January 10, 2019

(I work in a bakery at a chain grocery store, but I am also cross-trained in the deli department, which is connected to the bakery. We just hired some new people, and I am scheduled to work in the bakery at the same time as a trainee is working in the deli by herself. The manager asks me if I can keep an eye on her in case she needs help, and I happily agree. It’s also important to note that we just switched some of our deli meat brands and flavors after we finished training our new employees, so some of the meats that we had when she first started training we either no longer carry or we carry it in a different brand. I’m working in my department when I hear this:)

Coworker: “Good afternoon, sir. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “I would like some oven-roasted turkey.”

Coworker: “Okay. Would you like [Brand #1] or [Brand #2]?”

(Somehow, this question sets him off. He turns red in the face and starts yelling at my poor coworker.)

Customer: “You are so incompetent! Do you not know what you are doing? How hard is it to slice some meat?!”

(He goes on, and my coworker is too shocked to say anything. I step in to see if I can defuse the situation.)

Me: “[Coworker], are you okay?”

Coworker: “I just asked what brand he wanted because I couldn’t remember if we had the same flavor in another brand…”

Me: *to the man, as sweet and cheery as I can be* “Can I help you with something, sir?”

Customer: “NO! This entire store is filled with incompetent people! I just asked for some meat and she can’t slice it for me? How hard can it be to slice some meat?! I just want some meat!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We are currently switching our brands, and my coworker was confused about which brand of turkey you wanted, Did you want [Brand #1] or did you want [Brand #2]?”

Customer: *throwing a temper tantrum at this point* “I just want some meat! How hard is that?! You are all incompetent, and I will never shop here again! I’m about to leave and I will never come back!”

(I can deal with rude customers, but at some point, a switch just goes off in me, and I’ll be d***ed if I’ll let a customer talk about my coworkers like this. However, instead of blowing up at rude customers, I have a different tactic.)

Me: *with a sweet, peppy smile* “All right, sir! Well, you have a good day! Thank you for shopping at [Grocery Store Chain].”

(The man looks like he is about to lay an egg — just totally shocked. He shakes out of it, and angrily grabs his cart and goes to check out.)

Me: *to coworker* “You okay?”

Coworker: “Yeah… I just asked him a question.”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Some people are just jerks.”

(I went back to my work and our shifts continued normally. He must have had a bad day, because there is no way that turkey is so important that you have to have a meltdown in the middle of the store over it. That employee left a couple months later; most people don’t stay too long. I still work here, but I graduate school soon, so hopefully, I will never have to deal with rude customers like him again! If I do have a rude customer, I just kill them with kindness.)

Next Time Use Those Anti-Gravity Bags

, , , | Right | January 10, 2019

(A customer comes up to my register with some assorted groceries, including meat, vegetables, eggs, and a gallon of milk.)

Customer: “Bag this light, please. I can’t carry anything too heavy.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am.”

(I separate the items into smaller bags — meat in one, milk in another, etc. She pays and leaves. About ten minutes later, my boss walks up to my station.)

Boss: “You have a customer complaint.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Boss: “Apparently, there was a lady who asked you to bag her items light, and you didn’t.”

Me: “But I did! I separated all the items out, put the eggs in one bag, the milk in another– “

Boss: “That’s the problem. She said the gallon of milk was too heavy for her to carry.”

Oh, My Sweet Summer Boyfriend

, , , , | Romantic | January 10, 2019

(My boyfriend has taken a liking to a European candy that randomly showed up in our local grocery store, but once they run out of the first shipment they never seem to restock. We find the same candy at another branch of the store, but the packaging seems much smaller than the ones we got before.)

Boyfriend: “Huh, these only come in fours; the ones we got before were in eights.”

Me: “Maybe we accidentally had two stuck together last time and didn’t realize.”

Boyfriend: “That couldn’t be it. The alarms would have gone off, then, wouldn’t they?”

Me: *looking at him quizzically* “Huh?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, if you don’t scan the barcode, then the alarms by the doors will detect it and go off, right?”

Me: *fighting down laughter* “That… that’s not… those sensors detect the electronic tags they put on expensive items, not barcodes!”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: *still trying not to laugh* “How would it detect a barcode through your bags? Even the checkouts can’t do that!”

Boyfriend: “So… Wait, what keeps people from stealing the stuff without tags?!”

Me: “Cameras and common decency!”

(I swear my boyfriend is normally very smart, but I was reminded very strongly that day that he has never in his life worked retail.)

I’m Going To Pencil You Down As A “No”

, , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2019

(I’m a cashier in a grocery store that does a lot of donation drives, so sometimes customers get really upset when they happen back to back. That was the case for this story:)

Me: “All right, your total is going to be [dollar amount] today. We’re doing a back-to-school donation drive to give supplies to local schools. Would you like to give a pack of pencils for—“

Customer: *interrupting me* “NO! I’ve been a teacher for nineteen years. Kids don’t use pencils to write; they use them to stab each other!”

Me: *pause* “Okay.”

“Cash Only” Doesn’t Mean What It Used To Mean

, , , , , | Right | January 9, 2019

(My mom stops by the store on her way home from work to pick up a couple of things. She gets in line at the self-checkout. One of the machines isn’t working right and is cash only, and there is a sign taped to it saying, “Cash only. Sorry for any inconvenience.” The font size is very large. There are a couple of people in line in front of Mom, but neither of them is indicating they are going to use the cash-only machine. So, Mom walks over to the machine.)

Customer: “Hey! Get back in line! That machine isn’t working!”

Mom: “No, it works. It’s just cash only.”

Customer: “You can’t cut the line!”

(The customer shoves her way past Mom to use this machine.)

Mom: “Hey!”

Customer: “If it’s not broken, then I’m using it, b****!”

(Mom just rolled her eyes and got back in line. The man that was in front of Mom let her stay in front of him, since he was planning on using his card. Mom went to the next available machine and got out before the other woman, who clearly wasn’t planning on paying with cash.)

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