The One Who Apologizes Is Not The Jerk Here

, , | Right | April 3, 2021

I am concentrating on something I am working on and have my head down, so I don’t see a customer standing fifteen feet away.

Customer: *Rapid-fire shouting* “Hey! Excuse me! Hello!”

Me: *Startled* “What?!”

Customer: “What? What?! I’m a paying customer with a question, that’s what! You’ve got a nasty attitude! Now, start over.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir, I—”

Customer: “No, with a smile.”

Me: *Smiles* “Of course, I’m so sorry. What can I help you with today, sir?”

Customer: “Much better. Now. Show me where the salad is.”

I show him to the boxed green salads. This is my third mistake in one single interaction.

Customer: “No, salads! Like, salads. You buy them in the deli. Salads.”

I apologise again and show him the potato and pasta salads.

Customer: “Nooooooo, I want the ones in the deli, not next to it. Where are those?

I finally manage to show him the right items.

Customer: “Great. Move so I can actually look at them.”

Me: “Of course, sir, and I am so sorry again to have offended you. I was completely in the wrong.”

Customer: “S*** happens. You’re just rude and nasty to the customers.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am, and I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “Thank you. You can go now.”

I went back to work feeling guilty. Apologies if anyone has to shop at my store; clearly, I’m not good at this kind of work.

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Let’s Hope She Managed To Leave While He Was Out

, , , , | Right | April 2, 2021

I’m doing a cover shift in the deli at a large supermarket. A young bloke comes in, obviously not having showered for a couple of days, with a dumper — half-smoked and extinguished — cigarette in his mouth. He orders five slices of Devon, a lunchmeat. I take out the slices and bag it up, and as I’m about to print out the label, he says:

Customer: “You’re going to run that through as chicken, right?”

Me: “No. It’s Devon.”

Customer: “Yeah, but you need to run it through as chicken breast.”

Me: “I can’t do that. It’s Devon. And it’s significantly cheaper than chicken breast.”

Customer: “Yeah, but my wife sent me here to get chicken. We can’t afford chicken and she’s dumb as dog s***, so if you just put chicken as the label, that’ll fool her.”

Me: “I can’t do that, sorry. Maybe try writing chicken on the bag once you’ve left the store?”

The customer nodded as if I’d given him something profound to think about. He took the Devon and walked off. It was by far the strangest interaction I had that day.

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No Need To Restart This Conversation

, , , , | Right | April 2, 2021

I work for a grocery chain as a supervisor in a very affluent area. Because of our location, our customers tend to be very demanding and somewhat out of touch. A fellow employee tells me that a customer is having trouble at the [Movie Rental Company] machine we have outside, so I go out to help him.

Me: “Do you need help?”

Customer: “Yes, your machine isn’t working. You need to fix it. I need a movie for tonight.”

I look at the machine and see that the screen is black. 

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t own the machine, [Movie Rental Company] does. I’ll call a technician, but in the meantime, you’ll have to use one at another location.”

Customer: “No.”

I’m a bit flabbergasted by how abruptly he says it. His face is expressionless, and he doesn’t say anything else.

Me: “Again, I apologize, but I really have no way to fix it. I can help you find another one.”

I take out my phone and start looking for directions.

Customer: “No. This is the only one for fifty miles.”

Me: “It looks like there are two within a ten-minute drive.”

Customer: “That’s too far; I need a movie for tonight.”

It’s 10:00 am and he’s holding car keys.

Customer: “I worked in tech. Just restart it.”

Me: “I’m not sure if I should do that. I can call the technician to ask, but if it requires a password to log in, I won’t be able to bring it up. Do you want to wait?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, in that case— Sir, please don’t do that!”

He has started looking behind the machine and tugging on wires.

Customer: “I’m going to restart it. It’s okay; I worked in tech.”

Before I can say anything else, he pulls the plug out of the wall. When he plugs it back in, the start-up screen for [Outdated Operating System] loads.

Customer: “Well, there’s the problem! They can’t use this version! How could you let them use this?! It’s not supported anymore.”

Me: “We don’t have control over that.”

We wait in silence as the timer counts down to when the operating system will finish booting up. When it does, the screen returns to black.

Customer: “I guess it is broken. I’ll just go to the other one. You need to call somebody and have them fix it!”

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If They Never Work For You… Maybe It’s You

, , , , | Right | April 1, 2021

Customer: “Did those chips ring up for $1.79?”

I check.

Me: “No. They rang up at $3.79.”

Customer: “Your stupid digital coupons never work! Every time! They just never work!”

He now has his phone out and is gesturing at the coupon in the store app. I notice something important.

Me: “Sir, you need to ‘clip’ it first.”

The coupon has a button saying, “Clip to card,” which I point to. He presses that and I void the order because the system won’t recognize a digital coupon that was added after the order was started.

The whole time while I do this and re-ring him up, he keeps grousing about how our digital coupons never work, it’s just a waste of his time, and we need to fix our system. I ignore his ranting, give him his new total, and tell him that the coupon has gone through. He pays.

Me: “Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Customer: “The coupons just never work.”

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Five Out Of Ten For The Memory Test

, , , , , | Right | March 31, 2021

I am buying groceries at the store, and when I pay, the self-checkout machine doesn’t give me my change. The employee comes over and opens the machine.

Employee: “How much did you put in?”

My mind goes completely blank and I pause.

Me: “Five dollars?”

Employee: “Are you sure?”

They take out a ten-dollar bill.

Me: “Yes.”

The confused-looking employee gave me change for five dollars, and I left, too embarrassed to admit that I put ten dollars in originally.

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