Common Sense Has Totally Checked Out

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Right | May 7, 2017

(I am a customer in a large chain grocery store notorious for having many lanes for checkout but only opening barely a handful. I have maybe 10 items but have to use one of the regular lanes as no express ones are open. As I go to turn into the nearest lane a woman with a cart full to bursting knocks my cart out the way to get in the lane before me. I let it go as I don’t need to be anywhere. The woman begins unloading her cart onto the conveyor belt and the cashier looks ready to cry at how much stuff she has. About halfway through the process the woman checks the amount thus far.)

Woman: “So how much is it now?”

Cashier: “$193, ma’am.”

Woman: “Okay, stop ringing stuff up when it gets to $200.”

(She proceeds to unload roughly two dozen more items onto the belt despite this.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, it’s over $200 now.”

Woman: *looking between the cashier and the items on the belt* “You know what? Ring these up, too. It’s okay.”

(The cashier does so. Her basket is still fairly full at this point, mostly loose produce and small packages of things that she grabbed multiples of.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, if you could just put your basket over here, someone will return those items for you.”

Woman: “Oh, no, I can do it. I shouldn’t make you guys do all this work.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, it’s policy.”

Woman: “So what? I need to do it; I may find more items that I need that I missed the first time!”

(And she walked off with both her paid items and nonpaid items. The cashier, however, watched her like a hawk until she went further into the store, making sure she wasn’t trying to steal anything. The whole transaction took 20 minutes.)

She Likes Both Dem Apples

| NC, USA | Right | May 5, 2017

(I’m training as a cashier. It’s my first week at a major grocery chain, and a nice little old lady is next in line. She only has two apples in her hands.)

Me: *cheerily* “Would like a small bag for your items?”

Old Lady: “Yes, but first, I’d like to decide which of the two apples to buy.”

(I open a small paper sandwich bag for her and wait while she turns the apples over and considers. Before I know what happens, she takes a bite of the first apple. I’m certain this is the only time I’ve ever literally had my jaw drop. She chews thoughtfully for a second and THEN takes a bite of the other apple and chews that bite thoughtfully. I’ve recovered by this point and she waves the first apple at me:)

Old Lady: “I’ll take this one!”

(We sell apples by the weight. Technically that’s stealing but oh well, what can you do? But how do I ring up these apples now, they are, for lack of a better word, “open” and I feel that putting them on the register scale or touching them would be unhygienic and probably unappreciated by her, the manager, and the following customers. As this all flies through my brain I look over at my trainer hopefully and he sighs:)

Trainer: “Just give it to her.”

(I held out the open bag and explained with a smile that the apples were on us today, which she understood pretty quickly, happily plopped her apples into bag, and walked out. It has been six months and luckily no one else has taste tested their produce in line.)

Trying To Get The Measure Of You Early

| Larvik, Norway | Right | May 5, 2017

(I work as a cashier for the summer. I AM fairly new, while my coworkers have been working for a while. It’s a slow Sunday, and a man in his sixties comes into our store. He struggles a while with the bottle deposit machine.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Man: “It won’t take my bottle.”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I check the bottle, to find that he’s removed the bar code. The machine won’t take it without that. I’m about to tell him as much, but he walks away to do his shopping. I shrug and go back to the checkout.)

Coworker: “He’s trouble.”

Me: “Really? He looks so harmless.”

Coworker: “Maybe, but he constantly tries to provoke us. Just try to stay calm and deal with him quickly.”

(About 10 minutes later, he approaches me.)

Man: “The price on this cake is wrong.”

(He’s holding up a pretty standard, small chocolate cake.)

Me: “Okay? Do you want me to check the price in the registry?”

Man: “Yes.”

Me: *scans the cake* “It says 45 kr.” *about 6 USD*

Man: “See? It’s wrong!”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Man: “It doesn’t weigh 1 kg.”

Me: “No, it feels much lighter.”

Man: “Then the price is wrong.”

Me: “How is it wrong?”

Man: “It doesn’t weigh 1 kg!”

Me: “Do you want me to weigh it for you?”

Man: “Yes!”

(I weigh the cake.)

Me: “It weighs 300g.”

Man: “You see? It doesn’t weigh 1 kg!”

Me: “Yes, I understand that, but how is the price wrong?”

Man: “It costs 45 kr for a kg!”

Me: *hesitantly* “I don’t think that’s quite right.”

Man: “And it doesn’t weigh 1 kg!”

Me: “No, it weighs 300g, but it’s a set price. That cake costs 45 kr.”

(Another customer has started putting his groceries on the belt while we’re talking. The man with the cake turns to him.)

Man: “Feel this.” *hands him the cake* “It doesn’t feel like it weighs 1 kg, does it?”

Me: *politely, before the clearly uncomfortable man can say anything* “No, it weighs 300g.”

Man: *scowls and heads back into the store*

Customer: “Does that happen often?”

Me: “I hope not.”

(When I checked him out later, he didn’t really say much. I didn’t have any trouble with him for the rest of my time working there.)

Chocolate Doesn’t Need To Scream To Be Bought

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Working | May 4, 2017

(A display rack has collapsed close to the entrance of the store and a coworker and I are picking up the chocolate bars all over the floor. My coworker is male. I am female.)

Coworker: “Do you know what happened?”

Me: “No, I heard a crash and came over here. I asked, but a customer was just like, ‘It fell over at me all of a sudden!’”

Coworker: “Obviously he needed chocolate.”

Me: “He didn’t buy any.”

Coworker: “Yeah, it was the chocolate’s way of telling him he needed to buy it, but it’s not good with people. The poor things are socially awkward.”

Me: “Like me!”

Coworker: “I don’t think you fling yourself at people screaming, ‘Buy me!’”

Me: *laughing* “No! No, I don’t!”

(His face when he realized what he’d said was priceless.)

It Wasn’t Jackson, I’ll Grant You That

| USA | Right | May 4, 2017

(A customer I served a few moments ago has come back up to my register with their child, saying I short changed them.)

Customer: “You said my total was [price just under $20]. I paid with a $50! Where’s the rest of my change?”

(I open my register to see only three $20 bills and certainly no $50.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but there’s no such bills in here. I haven’t done a deposit today either so I can safely say that at no point have I been giving a $50.”

Customer: “Well, you obviously skimmed it then! Stole it to pay for your drug habit or something!”

Me: “Sir, can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I threw it away! Get me my change, or get me your manager!”

Child: “Daddy, you didn’t pay with a $50.”

(The customer promptly freezes and looks at his son.)

Child: “The picture on the money you gave was President Andrew Jackson. Teacher says he’s on the $20. President Grant is on the $50.”

(There is a moment of silence. The kid smiles proudly at remembering this fact. His father looks like he’s about to strike him for exposing his scam.)

Customer: “Really? Well then you can go to school and tell your teacher she’s the reason you’re not getting any ice cream today, now that daddy has no money to pay for it!”

(The child’s smile died as his father grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the store.)

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