An older customer who does nothing but walk up and down the aisles all day comes in trying to play tricks on the staff. He comes up to me with a loaf of bread.
Me: “G’day, how are you?”
Customer: “I’m not going to tell you; you’ll tell everyone.”
Me: “All right, so that will be two dollars, thanks.
The customer hands me a $10 note; I give him $8 change.
Me: “All right, have a nice day.”
The customer stands there for a moment.
Customer: “Didn’t I give you a fifty?”
I am slightly taken aback.
Me: “No, you definitely gave me a ten.”
The customer then bares the biggest toothless grin I’ve ever seen and laughs.
Customer: “I’ll get you one day, mate. Have a good one!”
Ever since then, every time he goes through my register, he always does the same thing. He thinks it’s hilarious and that he’ll always get me next time.
I am working a night shift in a local grocery store, where this man comes in while on the phone starts screaming at me
man:WHERE IS THE BREAD!!!
me: its right here *pointing to the isle* on isle 6.
man: *walks past isle six and ends up at isle 3* WHERES ISLE SIX AT!!!!!
me: *trying not the be a complete smartass* right here sir between 5 and 7
(At my store, a buy one get one free sale just means the item rings up at half price. Because of this, many customers will only get one of the item instead of two. A customer asked me to show him where the buy one get one 5 pound bags of potatoes were. I show him and pick up a bag of potatoes.)
Me: Here we are, sir.
Customer: They’re buy one, get one, right?
Me: Yes. Did you want two bags?
Customer: Wouldn’t you?
Me: Excuse me?
Customer: They’re buy one, get one, right? Wouldn’t you want two?
Me: Well, it depends on how fast someone goes through potatoes-
Customer: No, look! Here (points to a sales paper) it says ‘5 pound bags of potatoes, buy one get one. Ice cream, buy one get one. Ribs, buy one get one.’ Wouldn’t you want two?
(At this point, I give up trying to explain anything more to him and just get him a second bag of potatoes. Later, I was telling my coworker about it.)
Coworker: Buy one get one just means half price. Not everyone wants two bags of potatoes.
Me: Exactly. And what I didn’t tell him was that I have never liked potatoes. I don’t know why, but I don’t.
Coworker: You’re weird.
(I was working as a bagger in a grocery store)
Customer: “Can I get my produce bagged separately from everything else?”
Me: “Sure, no problem!”
Me: *puts a container of strawberries and blueberries in the same bag*
Customer: “NO, I ONLY WANT PRODUCE WITH PRODUCE!”
Customer: *agressively removes strawberries from the bag and replaces it with a carton of half and half*
Me: *confused as hell* “I’m sorry…?”
(I was walking past the self checkouts when a woman who wasn’t even in line stopped me)
Customer: You need to tell one of your people that one of the self checkout machines isn’t working.
Me: They know.
(One of the machines at this time is cash only. There is a huge sign taped to it telling people it’s cash only. About ten minutes prior to this conversation, I overheard a couple of the managers talking about what they can do to get this machine fixed.)
Customer: No they don’t! They’re standing in line! Tell your people the machine isn’t working!
Me:…. Okay….
(I walk past the Customer Service desk, confused.)
Manager: What was that all about?
Me: Oh, that lady wanted me to tell you one of the self checkout machines isn’t working properly.
Manager: I see. The sign means we don’t know it’s not working right.
Me: I guess…
