What Would Be Wonderful Is You Leaving

, , , , , , | Working | January 26, 2018

I am the customer in this story, my father is at the hospital having open heart surgery while I am at the store getting get-well gifts, and frozen meals for my kids so they can fend for themselves for the evening. I’m checking out at a lane that has both a very happy trainer — she is demonstrating and therefore doing the work — and a trainee observing. I’ve been crying off and on all day and look like a wreck.

As the trainer is checking me out she asks, “And how is your day going, ma’am?”

Distracted, anxious, and barely hearing her, I respond, “Just fine, thank you.”

Then she says, in a very cheerful voice, “Why don’t you tell me the most wonderful thing that happened to you today?

I’d like to think that I would typically be able to answer that question, but with all of the stress, and the absurdity of the question itself, I’m a bit flummoxed. I stare at her for a minute and then say, “Actually, nothing good has happened today. My father is being operated on as we speak, and I am worried and stressed. I apologize for telling you I was fine; it’s actually been a terrible day.”

The trainee is staring at me with wide eyes, looking horrified. Meanwhile the trainer just says perkily, “Well, that’s too bad, but I’m sure something has been wonderful for you today!”

I am literally dumbstruck. Thankfully it is a quick transaction so I just pay and leave without another word.

I’d Tell Them To Go Suck An Egg, But They Won’t Buy Any

, , , , , , | Right | January 26, 2018

(I’m an assistant manager at a grocery store. It’s around Christmas time, and I’m on the midnight shift. The store is packed, and the lines at the registers are long, even with every lane going. One of the cashiers calls me over to their register because the customer has an “issue” with the price of her eggs. I come over with a smile.)

Me: “What can I help you with?”

(When the customer looks up from her phone after a few seconds, she says:)

Customer: “Finally. I’ve been waiting for a manager for 30 minutes!”

(I know this is a lie, because I’ve only been on the clock 15 minutes, and this is the first time I’ve come to that register. I apologize for her non-existent wait, and ask what the issue is.)

Customer: “My eggs rang up wrong, so I get these for free; I know your store policy. Take them off.”

(Our store does have a policy that if an item does not ring up at the shelf price, it is given to the customer for free. This is not one of those cases.)

Me: “What were the eggs supposed to ring up as?”

Customer: “You work here; you should know. It’s not my job to tell you the price of things.”

(I flip open the weekly ad, and find that the one-dozen store brand eggs – which she has three of — are on sale, three for $5. I look at the register, and the eggs have rung up two at $1.67, and one at $1.66, making the three dozen eggs exactly $5. I explain to the woman that her eggs have rung up correctly, and she immediately blows up.)

Customer: “You are always trying to steal from me! You never honor your store policy, and you never fix the prices that ring up wrong. It’s like this every time I come in here! I just want my d*** eggs for free like they’re supposed to be, or I’m never shopping here again! I’ve waited long enough for this s***!”

(Again, I try explaining that the $1.66, $1.67, and $1.67 she was charged for her eggs is the correct price, at three for $5, but she isn’t having it.)

Customer: “Your corporate office will hear from me immediately. I’ve never been treated so poorly by anyone at this store! I’ve shopped here for 30 years, and I’ll never set foot in here again!”

(She storms out, not paying for or taking any of her order. After she leaves, the customer behind her remarks:)

Next Customer: “I can’t believe she’s been shopping here 30 years; this store’s only been open for 22.”

Bugging Out With The Buggy

, , , , , , , | Friendly | January 24, 2018

(I’m at the grocery store, trying to ignore the loud-mouthed woman who keeps berating her three-year-old son for getting in front of her buggy. I have sent her a few nasty looks, and so have some of the other shoppers, but as I’m not a confrontational individual, I’m hesitant to say anything. I’m watching as she keeps grabbing his hand and yanking him to the side any time he gets in her way.)

Other Shopper: “You shouldn’t talk to that baby that way.”

Loud-Mouthed Woman: “Shut the f*** up!”

(She grabs her kid and goes to another aisle. It happens that I come across them a few aisles later, and she’s still yelling at her kid. Eventually, he gets in front of her again, and this time she rams her cart into him, knocking him down on the cold, concrete floor. He busts his nose, hard, and starts screaming.)

Loud-Mouthed Woman: “That’s what you get! I told you not to get in front of me!”

(I come up behind her and ram my cart into her hard enough to knock her forward.)

Loud-Mouthed Woman: “OW! Hey! What the f***? Watch where you’re going!”

Me: “Doesn’t feel so good, does it? B****.”

Loud-Mouthed Woman: “F*** you!”

Me: “No, f*** you! That baby doesn’t deserve what you’re doing. You’re an abusive mother.”

(By this time, another shopper had notified the manager of the incident and they saw to the kid, whose nose wasn’t broken, but we could tell he was still hurting. Since there were so many witnesses to what the woman did for the past thirty minutes, and because she basically attacked her child, the manager decided to call the police about the situation. There were a lot of negative things said about her. I don’t know if CPS was called, or what the police did, but I hope she learned a lesson, either way.)

Cart Yourself Away, Fast

, , , , , | Friendly | January 23, 2018

(My mother is at the grocery store with my brothers, who are only a few years old. Both of them have been fussy all day, which makes my mother super irritable. As she pushes her cart full of groceries around, a random woman comes up to her.)

Woman: “Ah, this is exactly what I need.”

(The woman then proceeds to REACH INTO the cart and grab an item.)

Mom: “WHAT THE H*** DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

Woman: *drops the item* “I… I need this.”

Mom: “THEN YOU GO FIND IT YOURSELF, AND DON’T TAKE MINE!”

(The woman ran away.)

Dry Humor During The Wet Season

, , , , , , | Right | January 22, 2018

(I tend to have a dry sense of humor that people always don’t get.)

Customer: “I tell you, one moment it’s raining and the next moment it’s sunny. It’s like it doesn’t know if it’s winter or summer!”

Me: “It’s called spring, ma’am.”

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