Unfiltered Story #92625

, , , | Unfiltered | September 5, 2017

(This was relayed to me by my roommate, who works in the deli of a store.)

Customer: “Hi, I want some sandwich meat, but I’m on a diet so I can’t have anything with too much salt.”

Roommate: “Well, our beef has no added salt, so that should work for you.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m lactose intolerant. Unless your beef only comes from boy cows?”

Collegiate Enough To Prove Them Wrong

, , | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work in the produce department and am just straightening out the floor displays, when a customer walks up to me. Keep in mind I’m about 20 years old.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where your bathroom is?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am, it’s up next to the sandwich shop on the right.”

(I go back to work but notice she’s still standing next to me, just staring at me.)

Customer: “Young man, how do you expect to get into college with an attitude like that?”

Me: “Well, that statement would make sense if we were talking two years ago.”

Customer: “What are you referring to?”

Me: “I’m referring to the fact that I’m going to be a junior in college in the fall, and I was a senior in high school two years ago.”

(I notice she is still standing next to me, but continue to straighten product out.)

Customer: “What college are you going to?”

Me: “[University Name].”

Customer: “What field of study?”

Me: “Electrical Engineering.”

(The customer turned and walked away.)

Unfiltered Story #92619

, | Unfiltered | September 4, 2017

Customer: Excuse me, would you have a cloth I can use to clean my glasses?

Me: Sure, you can borrow mine.

Customer: Thanks! *proceeds to SPIT ON HIS LENSES and use MY cloth to wipe them clean!*

Me: … you know what, keep it. *I always have a spare in my locker, but you know… ew?!*

Should Be Carted Away

, , , , | Friendly | September 1, 2017

(I am shy, but can handle being around small crowds. My mom is the complete opposite: outgoing and unafraid to say what she thinks. While out shopping, my mom leaves me with the cart in the middle of produce section. I push myself to the side to not be in people’s way. The cart already has some items in it, and I am standing close to it while looking at some fruit. All of a sudden, an old man comes and takes the cart.)

Me: “Excuse me; I believe that is my cart, not yours.”

Old Man: *looks at me like I have three heads, frowns, and leaves with the cart*

(I told my mom and she got mad at me, and sent me to get another cart. As we were moving to another section of the store, I saw the old man look into his cart, realize it wasn’t his, and just push it away in rage.)

They’re Really Popular In Charlottesville

, , , , , , | Working | August 31, 2017

(I manage the deli section of my store. Today I’m inventorying the cooler, when one of my employees enters.)

Me: “What do you need?”

Employee: “[Brand of cheese]. I’m making a racist sandwich for a customer.”

Me: “You’re making a WHAT?”

Employee: *cheerfully* “A racist sandwich!”

Me: “What the h*** is a racist sandwich?”

Employee: “Plain white turkey and plain white American cheese, on plain white bread, with plain white mayo. You know, a sandwich for somebody who’s so terrified of dark-colored people that they can’t even eat dark-colored food. Also known as a ‘Klanwich.’”

Me: “…Are you serious right now?”

Employee: “It’s totally true. Remember that scene in ‘American History X’ where the fat guy won’t eat the black jellybean?”

Me: “That was a MOVIE.”

Employee: “Hey, truth in fiction or whatever. Besides, this is the South. Pretty much everybody here’s a racist.”

Me: “You didn’t call it a racist sandwich where the customer could hear you, did you?”

Employee: *cheerfully* “I’m pretty sure he couldn’t hear me!”

Me: *putting down my notebook and grabbing the cheese* “I’ll help the customer. You stay in here and skewer chickens.”

Employee: “I don’t wanna do that, that’s gross.”

Me: “It’s less gross than whatever’s going on inside your head!”

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