(I am a huge nerd and have no problem with nerdy jokes or behaviour! Three young men come to my line. They are more on the nerdy side of the spectrum, and therefore I am genuinely friendly to them. While ringing up the first gentleman, a colleague of mine rushes over to my register, interrupting me with some question, and runs away after getting an answer.)

Me: “Sorry about that. It seems quite a stressful evening for her. Your total is 6.34€, please.”

Nerd: “Oh, my God, I can read you know!” *to the others* “I mean, it’s not like that’s Sanskrit — though I even could read Sanskrit. It is just Latin numbers. I am not a dumb cashier; I can read Latin numbers, you know.”

Me: *a bit taken aback* “Arabic.”

Nerd: “What?”

Me: “Those are Arabic numbers… Just so you know next time, we are not using Latin numbers here… or anywhere, for that matter. It’s Arabic. Would you like to take the receipt with you?”

Nerd: “No, I don’t need that stupid receipt!”

(I proceed to ring up his mates, who are snickering about something. The last one of them takes the receipt, to which [Nerd] rages.)

Nerd: “At least you got your receipt! I wasn’t even asked if I need mine!”

(Luckily, his friends dragged him out of the store. It is a shame; I really thought they were nice people until that.)

(I’m working on a register. It’s been a slow day and as a result, there’s no one at my register. [Customer #1], an elderly woman with a trolley full of groceries, approaches my register. Seeing that there is no queue, she decides to push her trolley right up to my register and starts unloading her groceries at the front of the belt, rather than unloading them at the end of the belt and letting the belt carry them up to me. This is perfectly fine and not at all uncommon for customers to do when there’s no line. I begin ringing up her groceries and we start chatting. As we do, [Customer #2], an old man, pushes his trolley to the end of the belt and begins unloading his stuff, while [Customer #1] is still trying to unload her stuff at the front. Fairly quickly, [Customer #2]’s stuff begins encroaching on [Customer #1]’s stuff.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me. Sorry, I’m still unloading my stuff. Could you just wait a moment? Thanks.”

Customer #2: “Oh, yeah, sure.”

([Customer #2] just stands there for a second, before continuing to unload his groceries onto the belt as if nothing had happened.)

Customer #1: *pushing [Customer #2]’s stuff back a bit to clear more room for herself* “Um, excuse me. Could you just wait a moment? I need more room to finish unloading my stuff.”

Customer #2: “Huh? Oh, all right.”

([Customer #2] just continues to unload his groceries. Now [Customer #1] is getting really fed up. She stretches her arms across the belt and shoves all of [Customer #2]’s stuff back into his trolley.)

Customer #1: “WOULD YOU STOP ALREADY?!”

([Customer #2] suddenly shoots up as if he’s just woken up from a dream and is aware of his surroundings for the first time. He gets that look on his face that a four-year-old gets when they’ve been told off. He finally stops unloading his trolley, and waits for [Customer #1] to finish.)

Customer #1: “Some people.”

(I finished helping [Customer #1], and began serving [Customer #2], who never spoke and just awkwardly stared at the floor the whole time.)

I work as a bagger at a large grocery store chain. I am bagging a woman’s groceries when she starts talking to me. Keep in mind I was a totally normal 16 year old and this was my first job.

Customer: “So you work here, what do your parents do?”

Me: “Well my parents are both engineers at [a large local engineering firm.”]

Customer: “Oh wow! You must be on the autism spectrum then!

Me: “Nope.” (hand her the bag) “Have a nice day.”

Lady: Do you sell puddings?

Me: (stood in an aisle where various kinds of puddings can be acquired, be they desserts or black pudding or sweet puddings) What kind of puddings are you looking for?

Lady: I don’t know.

Me: …

(There are two customers at my register. I’m currently serving [Customer #1], while [Customer #2] has just finished unloading her groceries onto the belt, ready to be served next.)

Customer #2: “Sorry, I just forgot to get something. Do you mind if I quickly run and grab it?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

Customer #2: “Thanks.”

([Customer #2] leaves her groceries on the belt and races back down an aisle to find what she wants. This is a fairly regular occurrence, so I think nothing of it. Shortly after she has left, though, [Customer #3] arrives and starts unloading her groceries onto the belt behind [Customer #2]’s stuff. As she does, I finish serving [Customer #1]. Then, although she is not back yet, I start scanning through [Customer #2]’s groceries.)

Customer #3: “Um, excuse me. Those aren’t mine.”

Me: “I know. They’re—“

Customer #3: *sounding very panicked* “No, really, they’re not mine. I didn’t put them there. I have no idea where they came from.”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Customer: *sounding even more panicked* “I really don’t know how they got there, honestly. I didn’t put them there. They’re not mine. Please. I don’t want them.”

(At that moment, [Customer #2] returned to claim her groceries. A look of relief instantly washed over [Customer #3] as she finally understood where those groceries came from. But for a moment there, it honestly sounded like she thought I was going to force her to buy these groceries that had magically appeared out of nowhere. Customers are weird.)