Time And Space Are Intertwined  

, , , , , | Working | October 7, 2019

(My friend is at a grocery store that also has a pharmacy counter in it. He stops by the pharmacy, but as it’s fairly early in the morning, the counter isn’t open yet. He goes to find an employee:)

Friend: “Excuse me, could you tell me when the pharmacy will be open? I was just over there, but I didn’t see the hours posted anywhere.”

Employee: “Oh, yeah, the pharmacy’s right over there!” *points*

Friend: “No, sorry, I know where the pharmacy is. I was just there. I’d like to know when it will be open.”

Employee: “Yeah, so, the pharmacy is just right over there.” *points to it again*

Friend: “…”

(This repeats a few more times, until:)

Employee: *gives directions to pharmacy yet again*

Friend: “Right. Thanks.” *wanders off to find a different employee to ask*

(After telling me this story:)

Me: “Maybe if you had asked for directions instead, they would’ve told you when it opens!”

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Baking Up A Fiendish Scheme

, , , , , | Right | October 7, 2019

Me: “Hi, [Regular]! Are you finding things okay?”

Regular: “No! Where is that bread I like? You’re always moving things around. I’m an old lady. I shouldn’t have to look for things. You people should do more to help the elderly.”

Me: “I would be happy to help you look. Remind me which bread you like?”

Regular: “You know which one. It’s the one with the man on it!”

(I look at the bread section and see two different brands with a man on the package. I pick one and ask her of this is the one.)

Regular: “No! I hate that man! Don’t even show him to me!”

(It is a cartoon-like drawing of a happy baker. The other brand also has a drawing of a baker.)

Me: “Wow, I’m sorry. The only other bread we have with a man on the package is this other one. Is this the bread you were looking for?”

Regular: “No! I hate that man, too! They are all criminals who don’t know about bread!”

Me: “Okay. Well, these are the only two kinds of bread we carry that have men on the package.”

Regular: *angrily* “I know you. I know your type. You Greeks are always trying to rip me off. You look me in the eye when you are lying to me!”

(Yup. You got me, lady. I am the one who hides bread with cartoon drawings of bakers on the package from old ladies. Busted!)

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The Fish Scales Are More Accurate

, , , | Right | October 4, 2019

(I work in the seafood department of a well-known grocery store chain. An elderly female customer comes to the counter to place an order.)

Customer: “I’d like one pound of the cod that’s on sale.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am.” *places the fish on the scale, and the total weight is 0.99 — just a hair under a pound* “Is this okay?”

Customer: “No, it’s too light. Try the piece in front, instead.” *note that it’s a much smaller piece*

Me: “Yes, ma’am.” *weighs it up, and it comes to .85*

Customer: “Perfect. I’ll take it.”

Me: *screams internally* “Will that be all, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.” *wanders off*

Me: *rethinking choices I’ve made in life that lead me to this job*

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I Got 99 Problems And All Of Them Are Unpaid For Items

, , , , , , | Right Working | October 3, 2019

(I have been on shift for around eight hours and am scheduled to leave about ten minutes after this takes place. A customer enters my line to check out with a cart full of objects. Knowing this could take a bit, I call over one of my coworkers to help me bag. As I am waiting, I greet the customer.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today? Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “I guess so.”

(She begins carelessly throwing her items onto the belt. I think nothing of it and begin, still waiting for my coworker. After a few minutes, I can tell she’s getting agitated.)

Customer: “Can’t you hurry the h*** up?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m also bagging myself. I called for one of my coworkers to help, but they haven’t shown up yet.”

(The customer sighs and throws the rest of her things onto the belt. Once she is finished, she starts glaring at me.)

Customer: “Well?!”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry? Well, what?”

Customer: “Put in your [Rewards Card] number! I came here for the savings!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t just give you my card number. Don’t you have your own?”

Customer: *throws her hands up* “What the f***?! You’re supposed to give me your card number! I don’t have a f****** number! I have over 400 dollars worth of s*** here; just give me your card!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cannot do that. We don’t permit sharing the rewards card between two people, especially cashier to customer. If you want a card, you are free to go to the courtesy desk to get one! It’s free!”

Customer: “No! I am not giving them my number. Just give me yours! I don’t have enough to pay for all of this s***!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cannot do that.”

(I stop scanning, knowing well that it’s no use. She won’t pay.)

Customer: “Fine! Whatever! You are a slow, s***ty cashier. You can’t even bag properly, and you are nothing short of a selfish, worthless brat! Typical teenagers! I don’t want this s***!” *storms out of the store, leaving me with a half-completed transaction and over a hundred items on either side of me*

(I ring over my coworkers one last time. She walks over, looking annoyed.)

Coworker: “Maybe you should have called us and we could have helped you bag…” 

Me: “I did call, and you never came.”

Coworker: “Not my fault. It’s yours. You were supposed to clock out already… Now, you can either help us put this stuff back, or go up to the manager and explain why you didn’t clock out in time.”

(I just clocked out and left. I was too tired to really fight them. I called out of my shift the next day to relax. As upsetting as their scolding was… it was somewhat pleasing to know they had to return all of the rude customer’s purchases.)

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What A Grape Idea

, , , , , , | Right | October 3, 2019

I work at a grocery store where grapes are sold per pound. Three guys come up to my belt. One puts a bunch of stuff on the belt and says he forgot something. He walks off.

Meanwhile, his buddy is standing just past the end of register eating from a bag of grapes. I get busy with other customers for a minute, and then the guy who walked off comes back. He puts his forgotten item on the belt. As I am ringing them up, the guy with the grapes nearly finishes the bag, so there is only one little grape stem left.

When I put the grapes on the scale, I touch the edge of it with my thumb, making the grapes weigh more than what is left. So in the end, he ended up paying for at the very least all the grapes he ate, if not more.

Serves him right.

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