That’s The Tall And The Short Of It

, , , , , | Friendly | January 13, 2019

(My 6’7”, male friend is a very intelligent engineer but is very oblivious to common sense and socially acceptable, appropriate, and expected behaviors. He asks me to go to the grocery store with him to help him get ripe produce — i.e. show him how to pick out good fruit and vegetables. We are rounding a corner to an aisle when I notice that a very short woman, maybe three and a half feet tall, is scaling the shelf and about halfway up the rack. My friend, being a southern gentleman, says, “Here! Let me help you!” and tries to grab what she is attempting to reach on the higher shelf. She snaps:)

Woman: “No! I will get it myself!”

(I watch in absolute shock and horror as he puts a hand on each side of her waist and lifts her up. She turns to look at him, slack-jawed, as she grabs the box of cereal. As he is setting her down, I profusely apologize as well as chastising him about not grabbing strange women, especially not picking them up! He immediately realizes something is amiss and sputters out:)

Friend: “But she said she wanted to get it herself!”

Me: “Then let her get it! You don’t pick random people up!”

The Couponator 11: Barcode Of Duty

, , , | Right | January 13, 2019

(I work in a grocery store that has printers at each register which automatically prints either coupons, or advertisements for ways to earn coupons. Whichever it prints is based on your purchase. Because they come from the same machine and use the same paper, both have some common information such as our store name and “Manufacturer’s Coupon” printed at the top. However, the ads don’t have a barcode to scan whereas the coupons do, and in very large font on the ads it reads “Non-redeemable coupon”. I’m bagging for a coworker when the customer we’re serving pulls what appears to be some of our coupons out of his pocket.)

Customer: “I have a coupon for [Item], and this $10 coupon, too.”

Coworker: “A $10 coupon? Hmm, may I see it, please?

(The customer hands my coworker the paper, who then shows it to me. It is very clearly an ad, although his other coupon is actually a coupon to save money.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this $10 one isn’t actually a coupon. It’s just an ad.”

Customer: *snatches the ad from my coworker, then shoves it in my face* “COOOU-POOON. It says so right here!”

(He points to where it says “Manufacturer’s coupon” at the top. I take the ad and turn it around, pointing to where it says “Non-redeemable”.)

Me: “Actually, sir, I’m sorry but it says right here it’s non-redeemable.”

Customer: *snatches it back* “COOOU-POOON. It says right there, COOOU-POOON! Give me my $10!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I can take $5 off of your order today to make up for the confusion, but I can’t—“

Customer: “COOOU-POOON! Can you read? COOOU-POOON!”

Coworker: “Sir, please be patient with me; I’m trying to help you. As my coworker explained, this isn’t redeemable.”

Customer: “It printed in your store! You have to accept it!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but no, I don’t.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *holding up his ACTUAL coupon* “Sir, would you bear with me for a second? Do you see this barcode? And how this paper says ‘Save $1.00 on [Item]’?”

Customer: “Yeah, so?”

Me: “[Coworker], can you scan this one in please?”

(He does so, and the register displays -$1 for the coupon. I gesture to my coworker.)

Me: “Can you please hand him the other piece of paper?”

(The customer obliges and seeing where I’m headed, my coworker tries several times to get the ad to scan. Obviously, it doesn’t.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but since this doesn’t have a barcode, and says it’s non-redeemable, we cannot accept it as a $10 off coupon.”

Customer: “Try again! You just didn’t line it up right!”

Coworker: “Sir, I tried every single way I could. I even did it backwards. It didn’t scan.”

(My coworker holds up the ad, and then notices what else it says.)

Coworker: “Sir, did you get two [very expensive supplements]?”

Customer: “What? No! Why?”

Coworker: “Even if this was a coupon and not an ad, I couldn’t scan it through. It’s an ad saying you could earn a coupon for $10 off two [very expensive supplements] for a future visit if you purchase one prior, not $10 off your entire order.”

(The customer goes bright red, staring at the ad for a moment. He swipes it from my coworker, crumples it up, and throws it on the floor. He doesn’t say another word for the rest of the transaction, and throws his receipt on the floor as well. As he storms off, the next customer steps forward and picks up his trash, throwing it into a garbage bin.)

Next Customer: “Hi! I have a coupon today, and because I can read, I know for sure it’s a coupon for $1 off two [items], which I’m buying, and not an ad.”

The Couponator 10: Expiration Day
The Couponator 9: The Passive Aggression
The Couponator 8: The Fabric Of Reality

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Very Far From The Ent

, , , , , | Related Right | January 12, 2019

(I’m back in my fairly small, conservative hometown, going grocery shopping with my dad. We get up to the register, and our cashier, a teenage girl, has a Dalek bow in her hair.)

Me: “Your bow is rockin’!”

Cashier: *laughing* “Thanks! I was actually just admiring the X-Men button on your purse!”

(We chat back and forth a bit about our favorite comic series when my dad scoffs.)

Dad: “Nerds.”

(She immediately looks horrified, but I just laugh.)

Me: “Dad… you introduced me to Dr. Who and Batman and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy when I was seven! Where do you think I get it from?”

Dad: “Well, yeah. Hitchhiker’s Guide is classic, and Batman is clearly the coolest comic series. But the classic Dr. Who series is so much better. It just went downhill after they introduced River Song. You two are nerds.”

(Both the cashier and I were laughing by this point. Dad and I paid, collected our groceries, and left, my dad still arguing that I’m nerdier than he is. That may be, but the apple doesn’t fall far, Dad!)

Closing Down Any Empathy For You

, , , , , , | Working | January 11, 2019

(I just began working at a new deli after some issues at a previous job. Starting out, the new job is great! I had fun coworkers and a nice manager, and even the higher-ups seem very kind and helpful. As time goes on, of course, some things start to seem off or annoying, but I let those go. It isn’t much to complain about. One night, I am closing and, unfortunately, I am running a bit behind. I was supposed to be out by 8:00, but it’s coming onto 7:10 and I’m not where I am supposed to be.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], I’m running a little behind. Can you give me a hand, here?”

Manager: “Sorry, [My Name], I’m running behind on my own stuff, too. I don’t know if I’ll make it out on time myself.”

Me: “Oh, well… Okay. When you get the chance, I could really use some help.”

(I continue doing what I was doing. A few minutes later, I begin to filter our deep fryer. I still have other things I need to do, but I’m keeping calm so I don’t make any mistakes… That is, until my manager comes by and watches me work over my shoulder.)

Manager: “You’re not going to make it out on time, are you?”

Me: “Probably not… That’s why I asked for help before.”

Manager: “Well, I can’t help. I have stuff to do. Man, you’re not making it out of here until well past 10:00!”

(The deli closes at 10:00.)

Me: “Well… I still have quite a few things to do.”

(Once the fryer is done being filtered and has cooled down a bit, it’s about 7:50. I begin taking it apart to clean out the filter. My manager is close by, just watching me work.)

Manager: “Man, you are so behind!! I can’t believe it; how could you be so behind?”

Me: “I’m not sure… Look, if you’re just standing there, not busy, I could use a little help with something else.”

Manager: “I told you! I am not done yet! I’m going to be late, too!”

(A little annoyed, I continue with my work. My manager continues to watch me until the clock strikes 8:00, when she packs up her things.)

Manager: “You’re still behind? Good luck with that! I’m going home. Night!”

(And she left. I didn’t make it out until just before 10:00 that night. The next morning I came in for an earlier shift and my manager told me that I didn’t do anything right, and that I obviously needed to be retrained in closing. I’ve gotten better — and faster — at closing since, but that night just irked me enough to where I lost a little respect for my manager.)

Needs To Work On That Goodbye

, , , | Right | January 11, 2019

(I’m in line waiting to be checked out, shortly before the store is going to close. In front of me is an elderly lady, clearly in retirement already. This happens when she turns to leave. In Germany it’s very common to wish someone to have a nice end of the working day.)

Elderly Lady: “Thank you, and have a nice end of your working day!”

Cashier: *starts laughing* “Ha, I almost wished you the same!”

Elderly Lady: *starts laughing, too* “Well, my working days finished long ago!”

Page 2/39012345...Last