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Cut The Old Jokes Cold Turkey

, , , , | Right Working | May 17, 2022

I was at the checkout at a grocery store, and the poor cashier kept trying and trying to get a small package of turkey breast to scan. She then tried multiple times to key in the SKU number. Then, she called for her supervisor or someone of elevated rank, who also couldn’t make it work.

Then, THAT person called for a Customer Service Representative, who also couldn’t make it work. The machine kept saying the item didn’t exist.

Cashier: “Dude, it’s right here in my hands!”

I kept struggling to resist the urge to make that “Oh, I guess it’s free” joke. Finally, she threw up her hands.

Cashier: “I give up!”

I cracked.

Me: “Well, I guess you could just make it ‘on the house’!”

She laughed as she entered the name and price manually, and I was finally able to check out.

Usually, When They Shout They Have The Right, They Have The Wrong

, , , , , | Right | May 17, 2022

I’m bagging as usual when I am asked to move to a busier lane. Once there, I get surprised as a woman nearby suddenly starts yelling at one of my managers.

Customer: “How dare you? I’m your best customer and you treat me like this! I have a mask exception!” *Waves a small card around* “It’s from the department of masks!

My manager continues to try to calm her down and deescalate the situation, but even if he let her just go without a mask, she wouldn’t hear him at this point.

As she storms out of the building, she cries out this gem:

Customer: “Besides, it’s my right!”

Either she was the worst actor ever, or she had no intention to hide that she was lying about having a medical condition.

This Deal Has Expired

, , , , , | Right | May 13, 2022

I am a cashier. A customer puts gross vegetables on the counter by my till.

Customer: “This was in amongst the fresh produce.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I’ll get rid of this and make sure someone goes to check the produce aisle more thoroughly.”

Customer: “No, I want this one at a lower price.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, if you want to buy something that’s expired, you will have to pay full price and I’ll take note of you acknowledging its condition. We don’t give discounts on expired food.”

Customer: “I’m not going to eat it; I want to put it in a compost heap.”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, but it’s store policy.”

Customer: “It’s really disgusting that you throw all this produce out rather than let us buy it at a lower rate.”

Me: “Like I said, ma’am, it isn’t my decision to make.”

The customer threw the vegetable at me and stormed out, leaving her trolley full of items to block the queue.

The Trolley Cops Want You To Have Late Fees!

, , , , , | Working | May 13, 2022

I borrowed a large number of craft books, all pretty big and bulky and HEAVY, from our local library. The library is right next to the supermarket, so patrons park in the supermarket car park. The library book drop is literally right next to the trolley bay; in fact, if the line of trolleys is too long, they block the book drop. Yes, it’s a bad design.

I was doing my weekly grocery shop, so I piled the books into the car, parked at the supermarket, did my shopping, and took the full trolley back to my car. That’s where the fun began.

An employee was in the car park collecting trolleys, and he spotted me unloading my trolley. He headed my way with his long line of trolleys.

Employee: “Hi! I’ll take that for you when you’re done.”

Me: “It’s okay. I’ll take it back to the trolley bay.”

Employee: “No, it’s fine. I’ll wait.”

Me: “I’m going to use it to carry my books. I’ll leave it in the bay when I’m done.”

Employee: “You can’t take it away from [Supermarket]. I’ll just take it now.”

Me: “I’m not taking it anywhere! I’m just going to take my books to the book drop.”

By then, I’d finished putting my bags into the car, and he tried to grab the empty trolley. I quickly grabbed a book bag and put it in the trolley.

Employee: “This is for [Supermarket]! You can’t take it anywhere else.”

Me: “I’m literally taking it back to the trolley bay. Honestly, it’s not going anywhere else.”

As I turned my back to get the second bag, he obviously saw his chance. He put the first bag on the ground, added my trolley to his line, and started pushing them back to the store.

I picked up both very heavy bags and walked to the library. I literally walked right next to him all across the car park, across the forecourt, and right up to the trolley bay. And then I darted in front of him and stood feeding my books into the book drop. He had to wait because I was blocking him from putting his line of trolleys away. Petty? Yes. But satisfying.

Something Fishy About Google Searches These Days

, , , | Right | May 11, 2022

I’m working the seafood counter.

Customer: “You’re lying. Those aren’t salmon. They’re regular cheap fish!”

Me: “They are real salmon. It’s illegal to mislabel them.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “You can Google it.”

Customer: “Nice try! I know Google is in on it!”