Bosses Abhor A Vacuum

, , , , , | Working | December 9, 2019

(We have lost two coworkers in the last three weeks, leaving us severely short-staffed. My manager has been riding everyone about their work but in a manner reminiscent of a dog barking at shadows; it’s ineffective and annoying at best. Shortly after I clock on for the final closing shift of the day, she approaches me.)

Manager: “When was the salad case last vacuumed?”

Me: “Well, at worst I did it the last time I worked the final shift last week. I don’t know about [Other Coworkers] since I leave before they do.”

Manager: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yes?”

Manager: “Well, I was told the vacuum was broken.”

Me: *baffled* “If it’s broken, I had no idea about it. It’s been working fine.”

Manager: “Well, one of the service-clerks up front said it was broken.”

Me: “Huh. I’ll check it out.” *retrieves the mini shop vac in question, plugs it in right in front of her*

Manager: “This was like two weeks ago.”

Me: “Oh, heck no. I just used this in the last four days.” *flips the power switch and fires it up just fine, turns it back off* “Seems fine to me.”

Manager: “He said it had no suction.”

Me: *flips the vacuum back on and proceeds to show it has perfectly fine suction by sucking my glove visibly away from the palm of my hand while looking her dead in the eye* “Yep, still working.”

Manager: “Maybe he was wrong.”

Me: “Eh, maybe the hose was clogged, but I’ve cleared and washed it a few times in the last couple of weeks.”

Manager: *walking off* “Well, the case wasn’t vacuumed last night.”

(It wasn’t until hours later after she left that I realized she had called me out in front of my coworkers, expecting to catch me in some two-week cleaning lie, and was disappointed it backfired. This is made all the more ridiculous by the fact that I had only worked the final shift requiring the shop vac four times in those two weeks.)

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Getting Into The Holiday Dispirit  

, , , , , | Working | December 9, 2019

(It’s the beginning of December. I’m ringing customers out.)

Me: “…and you are all set. Thank you, and have a merry Christmas!”

Customer #1: “Thanks! You, too!” *exits*

(My coworker, who is bagging for me, gives me a weird look.)

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “You’re supposed to say, ‘Happy Holidays.’”

Me: “I try to tailor my greetings to what the customer is buying. That guy was buying tree ornaments and lights, so I think it’s safe to say he celebrates Christmas.”

(Later, another customer walks up with multiple food items from our Hanukkah display. I ring her up.)

Me: “Thank you, and happy Hanukkah!”

Customer #2: “How’d you know? Oh, wait… I guess my groceries gave it away! Thank you, sweetie!” *exits*

Coworker: “You are supposed to say, ‘Happy Holidays’!

Me: “When [Manager] tells me to stop, I will. Until then, don’t be a mini-[Manager].”

Coworker: *shouts across the store* “[Manager]! Do we say, ‘Merry Christmas,’ or, ‘Happy Holidays’?”

Manager: “Uh… I guess ‘Happy Holidays’ covers everything, but—”

Coworker:Ha! Told you! Now you have to say, ‘Happy Holidays’!”

Me: “Is your goal for today to annoy me? If so, congrats, you’ve succeeded.”

Coworker: “You don’t have to be so b****y about it.”

Me: “Go bag somewhere else!”

(My coworker stomps off to the next register. Another customer walks up. I ring him up.)

Me: “Thank you, and have a nice day!”

Customer #3: “What, no ‘Merry Christmas’ or anything?”

Me: “…”

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Put Her Own Head On The Block

, , , , | Friendly | December 9, 2019

(I’m at the grocery store and need to get some produce. A couple and an elderly lady have stopped to chat and are nearly blocking the main path into the produce area. I’m in a foul mood, and I silently push my cart between the two parties to get where I need to be, keeping careful not to hit anyone. The elderly lady then turns to me.)

Elderly Lady: “What do you say?”

Me: “Quit blocking a high-traffic area!”

(I think she was expecting an “excuse me”!)

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That Just Crossed A Line  

, , , , | Right | December 6, 2019

(It is a slow night. I have no one in my line. My coworker behind me has two customers. One is taking very long to finish.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], can you take her?” *points to the other customer*

Me: “Sure!”

(The lady and I start to put stuff on my line. I have my back turned to the register, and when I put some of the lady’s stuff down, I see that someone has just come on my line.)

Me: “Oh! Hello, I’m sorry but this lady is—”

Customer: *on my line* “WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING?!”

Me: “I… I am taking this lady’s stuff on my line because she has been waiting. I’m sorry, but I did not see you. You can go to register five if you—”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

(By this time, I am starting to check out the lady.)

Me: “I… I don’t know. I think he left.”

(I finish up with the lady and start to ring the other customer up.)

Customer: “I am going to talk to your manager. You should have not done this.”

(I finish and she goes to the front end. I am about to cry because I have only had this job for a few months and need money. My coworker behind me is trying to calm me down. One of the front end people comes to me and asks what happened. I tell her.)

Me: “I was just trying to help.”

Front End Coworker: “Okay, don’t worry about it.”

(She goes back, and I see the customer leave the store. My front-end coworker comes back and tells me that I am not in trouble.)

Me: “Thank you.”

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Unfiltered Story #179093

, , | Unfiltered | December 6, 2019

I am the current Person in charge of the front end, when a female customer approaches me.
Customer 1: “Hi, um…a girl just walked in and she isn’t wearing any pants.”
Me: “What?!”
Customer 1: “Yeah, she just walked in that door and she doesn’t have any pants on.”
I head over to the home department, and I call our Loss Prevention Manager, who tells me that he’s in the home department already, and that I should head towards grocery. I walk through stationary, and glance down one of the aisles, and there she is. A man is pulling his small child out of the aisle, while she is casually browsing the pens. I call LP back, and tell him where she is, and as I am talking to him, she walks behind me, and into the grocery department. LP tells me that he is on his way, and to kick her out. I approach her in the feminine hygiene aisle.
She is wearing high socks, a thong, and a couple shirts and a jacket, none of which cover her bare bottom.
Me: “Excuse me, I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you aren’t going to be wearing any pants….”
Pants-less Woman: “I don’t understand….”
Note: she is clearly high, as her eyes are barely open.
Me: “I need you to leave, because you’re not wearing pants.”
Pants-less Woman: “I don’t understand, I can wear this anywhere else I go.”
Me: “It’s not okay. I either need you to put on pants or leave.”
Just then, LP walks up. Note: I am a small female, and LP is a huge Korean guy.
LP: “You need to leave, let’s go.”
Pants-less woman: *suddenly agitated* “I can wear whatever the f*** I want! Get the f*** outta my business and leave me the f*** alone!”
She continues in this vein as she walks out of the store, followed by LP. I stand stunned in the aisle. He called me after to tell me that she got incredibly racist with him once they were outside.
Kids, this is why you don’t do drugs.