(I’m shopping at a superstore in the clearance section and find a cold brew coffee maker. I pick it up thinking it would be an awesome gift for my husband and see the price is listed as $89.99. I think this must be a fancy electronic version at that price and look it up on my phone. It’s literally just a plastic pitcher with a metal filter and is listed for $10 on the store’s website. I’m sure this must just be a mistyped decimal point so I go find a nearby associate.)

Me: “I found this pitcher in clearance and I think it was mispriced.” *shows her the website price and the item* “What should I do?”

Associate: “Yeah, that’s weird. If you go up front and ask for a manager they should be able to look it up in the system and fix it.”

(I go up to a register and ask the cashier to call a manager. He’s very friendly and we chat a bit while we wait until the manager comes up.)

Manager: “What’s the issue?”

Cashier: “She found this item in clearance and we think it was mispriced.”

Me: “Yeah, on your website it says it’s $10.” *shows my phone to the manager*

Manager: *looks at my phone for a while and then hands it back* “Well, sometimes items on the website are a different price and that one is talking about free shipping after you spend $35, as well.”

Me: “I’m not concerned about the shipping cost; it’s the big price difference. I would get if it was a few dollars different, but a $79 price gap is big. Can you look it up in your system to see if the item was mislabeled in the store?”

Manager: “It is the price it is in the store; you can order it online if you want.”

Me: “You won’t match your own price or look it up?”

Manager: “It is the price it is in the store.”

Me: “Fine, I guess I’ll not buy it, then, and get it somewhere else. I feel bad if someone wastes their money spending $89 on a $10 item, though.”

(The manager walked off and the cashier and I had a laugh about how ridiculous that was. I got a nice cold brew pitcher from another store for the correct price later.)

(A woman comes in to pick up her order. I realize that her entrees are ready, but whoever took the order neglected to make her side salads.)

Me: “And if you’ll just give me about a minute and a half, I’ll have your salads out. You’re welcome to have a seat while you wait.”

Customer: “No problem!”

(I move over to the salad bar, about fifteen feet behind the register, but still visible. I quickly make her salads and close the plastic containers. As I’m bagging them, one slips out of my hands and flips over into the tray of lettuce. Still wearing gloves, I quickly grab it and finish bagging, hoping nobody saw my fumble. I turn to the register, where I see she is still standing.)

Customer: “One almost got away, huh?” *chuckles*

Me: *feeling my face get warm* “I like to consider it ‘a free upgrade to a tossed salad!’”

(She laughed as she thanked me and left. About a week later, she called again and asked for a “tossed salad” upgrade with her dinner.)

(I try to order a gift card from [Terrible Phone Company]’s website. After hitting “Submit” on the order, the website hangs. Logging out of my account and then back in shows the card still in my cart, with no confirmation that the order has gone through, and I receive no email stating that it has gone through, but the rewards points I was using to purchase the card are deducted from my balance. After three days with no confirmation that the order has been received, I use [Terrible Phone Company]’s online chat to ask what is going on with the order. Just for reference, this is the second time I’ve had this exact issue with this company, and I have previously had issues with this same company randomly not sending e-bills to an email address I have been using with them for years.)

Me: “Can you just confirm that you are going to redeem [points] for a [Place] gift card?”

Automated Chat system: “Typically it takes two to three weeks for delivery of the partner gift card. The eGift cards will be sent to you via email within 48 hours.”

Me: “Okay, but can you confirm that the order was placed?”

Automated Chat system: “Ordered [expensive Internet package] recently and want to check the status?”

Me: “That is not what I want. I would like to talk to a human now.”

(Eventually, a — presumably — human agent gets on the chat. After several minutes of the representative confirming my account details and identity, we finally get around to checking the order. It takes several minutes for the chat rep to actually look up the order info.)

Chat Rep: “Upon checking your account details for the recent redemption of [card I ordered]…”

(Radio silence.)

Me: “So… is that a yes? My gift card is on its way? Because I’ve received zero confirmation and your website still shows me as having it in my cart and every time I hit submit it just sits there and hangs.”

Chat Rep: “Yes, you will received [sic] also an email confirmation regarding the status of your gift card.”

Me: “When will I receive that email confirmation?”

Chat Rep: “Anytime. Please check your email every day.”

Me: “I do. That’s the issue. That’s why I’m chatting with you. Because it’s been, let’s see, three days, and I’ve received bupkis.”

Chat Rep: “You’re welcome! I’m glad to assist!”

Me: “That was not a thank-you. Supervisor, now, please. Please escalate this. I have found a bug in your program. I need to report it.”

Chat Rep: “Even if I will connect you to my supervisor, it will be the same. We do have the same access on your account.”

Me: “So… I can’t report a bug? Your website will not give me the info I need and won’t send me an email confirmation. I would think you’d want to know that. ‘You’ in this case meaning [Terrible Phone Company], not [Chat Rep]. Escalate. ESCALATE. YOUR WEBSITE IS BROKEN.”

Chat Rep: “Sure thing! Please allow me a few minutes.”

(The chat rep then sends me to his supervisor.)

Chat Rep Supervisor: “I understand that you want to know when you will receive your [Place] gift card, is that right?”

Me: “Just for a summary: your portal for redeeming [Terrible Phone Company] rewards through your website is not working. I tried to redeem rewards but received zero confirmation from the website that the order had been completed, and the item never left my cart. And I received zero emails about the order. So I had no way of knowing if the order went through at all. So, yes, I wanted to know if the order was placed and when I will get my gift card, but I’d like something in writing to that effect, and [Chat Rep]’s assurances that I will get an email ‘anytime’ are less than assuring, because it’s been three days and your website is still borked.”

Chat Rep Supervisor: “I got you! I actually checked your account and I see the transaction for a [Place] gift card.”

Me: “Terrific. So… when will I get an email to that effect?”

Chat Rep Supervisor: “What I will do is to check my resources on how we can make sure you will get this gift card.”

Me: “That’s not what I asked for. How about this? Instead, pass along a bug report? I’m using [Browser] on [Cell Phone Brand] and also on [Laptop Brand]. Browser is 100% up-to-date on both.”

Chat Rep Supervisor: “Please allow me a few minutes.”

Me: “Just tell your techies there’s a bug.”

Chat Rep Supervisor: “Please allow me a few minutes.”

(I waited. Time marched inexorably on. After several more minutes, I gave up and told the chat rep supervisor I was signing off. Five minutes later, I received an email that my gift card was on its way.)

I am on my way to an event and decide to stop at a fast food restaurant to pick up a coffee for myself and one for someone I am meeting at the event. I am about ten minutes early, so I figure I have plenty of time to use the drive-thru.

I place my order, then pay, and then go to the pick-up window. The person there asks me to park in a numbered space reserved for drive-thru customers. I figure they are making more coffee or some such. So, I wait, listening to music in my car and playing on my phone. After several songs have played, I realize that it has been ten minutes, and I am now going to be late.

I walk in and ask about my order. There is frantic commotion behind the counter, and I am told that my coffee isn’t ready. They are cleaning the coffee maker… which will take another thirty minutes.

For coffee.

She does ask if there is anything else she can get me, but I just ask for a refund, which I get.

I wind up late for my event and have to apologize to my friend for not bringing coffee. Fortunately, we’re still friends.

(I am eight months pregnant with an UNMISTAKABLE pregnant belly. I am being a bridesmaid for my sister tomorrow and need some special underwear to avoid a visible panty line under my bridesmaid dress, so I visit a popular lingerie store.)

Me: “Hi. I’m a bridesmaid tomorrow and I need some underwear for going under my gown that won’t show. Do you have any low-waisted, seamless knickers? Something that will sit under my baby bump?”

Worker: “Oh, no, not any low-waisted ones. I’d probably recommend our very popular shapewear.”

(She gestures to a pair of those squeezy knickers designed to act like a corset that goes all the way up to under your boobs — not remotely accommodating to a giant baby tummy. I stare at her, dumbstruck, for a full minute before I can find some words.)

Me: “Um… and where would the baby go when I’m wearing these?”

Worker: “Oh… um…”

Me: “I think I’ll try somewhere else.”