I am at work and start getting cramps. I have endometriosis so I need to get painkillers in my system before my period starts or I become incapacitated from the pain. I forgot to refill the container I bring to work, so I don’t have any pain relief on me.

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], do you have any Tylenol? Or any other pain killers?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t take any medication. If you’re needing something like that, it means you have some deficiency, and your body’s telling you need to get more vitamins or water.”

Me: *Long pause* “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to help my chronic illness. I have endometriosis.”

Thankfully, she actually apologized for making assumptions and offered to ask others if they had any for me.

We take turns being on call. I live the furthest away — twice what anyone else does — so I try to do only my fair share. I will cover holidays only when I really have to.

I get a call one weekend.

Coworker: “Is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, who is this?”

Coworker: “It’s [Coworker] from work. Can you pop in? We’re having issues with [machine].”

Me: *Sighing* “It’s not my turn on call this week. You can find the rota with the phone number in the break room.”

Coworker: “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

A little annoyed, as this isn’t the first time they’ve just called me before checking the rota, I go back to my weekend. Unfortunately, it’s not long before I get another call.

Coworker: “It’s [Coworker] again. I can’t reach [Coworker #2]. Can you come in?”

Me: “Did you try [Coworker #3]? It states on the sheet who to call next.”

Coworker: “Can’t you just come in?”

Me: “No, we have a rota for a reason. Please call [Coworker #3].”

I message [Coworker #3] to let him know to expect a call. He messages back letting me know that it’s not a problem and he is nearby. Then, I get another phone call.

Coworker: “Yeah, [Coworker] again. [Coworker #3] isn’t answering. I’ve talked to my boss and he says you need to come in.”

Me: “You know what? I will sort this out.”

I called [Coworker #3] who had not received any other calls but said he would head to work now. I called [Coworker]’s boss and explained what was happening. I said that he doesn’t tell me what to do on my weekend and that he needed to tell his team to follow process.

On Monday, my boss pulled me aside as there had been a complaint, but when I explained, it was dismissed. My coworker kept ignoring the on-call list and eventually got removed from the plan and lost a bit of cash out of it, too.

I studied Tae Kwon Do up until college, and I dabbled a little throughout college. I was nothing great, but I did get up to second dan black belt. (Trust me, that really isn’t as impressive as you may think.) I lacked stopping power, given my size and lack of aggression, but I did develop a decent focus on defense and being hard to hit, as well as covering large distances quickly to be able to move in and out of my opponents’ reach.

Not long into my first job out of college, I was joking with a colleague. I forget the details of the conversation, but eventually, he jokingly threatened to hurt me for something, including pantomimed kicking me.

I wasn’t expecting the mock kick. It took me by surprise so much that my sparring instincts kicked in the moment the leg started to come up and I immediately tried to slide back out of the way of a potential attack. I rapidly slid across the room, until I ran hard against the wall behind me; we were in a much tighter space than I usually sparred in, so I’d tried to slide back much further than there was space to cover.

What I didn’t realize was that my manager’s office was behind my coworkers’ backs. My manager didn’t have a clear view, but he had enough of a view to see my coworker move as if to kick me followed by my flying across the room. He ran out of his office, all set to fire my poor coworker for apparently kicking me across the room for no reason. I had to rush in to assure him that I wasn’t kicked and everything was fine.

After we had assured him that my coworker had not snapped and gone on a wild kicking spree, my manager found this hilarious. For the next two years I worked there, my manager would jokingly tell the story of how I “tried” to get my coworker fired for attacking me to anyone that would listen.

I guess you could say he got a real kick out of it.

It’s Mother’s Day weekend. I have a standard answer for whoever asks me what I’m doing for Mother’s Day that seems to stop any awkward questions. I just tell people, “Oh, I don’t have a mother,” in a very cheerful voice, and that’s usually the end of that, but a coworker has been bothering me all week about my lack of plans.

Coworker: “So, you’re not doing anything for Mother’s Day?”

Me: “Nope.”

Coworker: “But, nothing? Nothing?!”

Me: “I don’t have a mother, so why would I do anything?”

Coworker: “That’s so stupid. Everyone has a mother.”

Me: *Flatly* “Well, I don’t so—”

Coworker: “Who gave birth to you? She’s your mother!”

Me: “Surrogate mothers are a thing.”

Coworker: *Sputters* “Who raised you?”

Me: “My dad.”

Coworker: “So do something for him, then!”

Me: “He hates these kinds of holidays.”

Coworker: “You’re not doing anything for anyone this weekend? Wait, is your mother dead?”

Me: “Not as far as I know. Look, I really don’t want to talk about this—”

Coworker: “If she’s not dead, you should at least send her a card to tell her you love her!”

Me: *Fed up* “The woman who gave birth to me made it very clear to me that she hated me and wished that I hadn’t been born. She kept me locked in a dark bathroom for days at a time, without food or human interaction, because I was ‘too loud,’ when I was three years old. I don’t know her address, and even if I did, I would not be sending that b**** a card.”

Coworker: *Pauses* “Oh. Um, right.” *Flees*

If someone tells you they don’t want to talk about something, don’t force them to talk about it.

This story is part of our Best Of August 2021 roundup!

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I work in a hotel and handle the night auditing. I recently had a rather irritating situation, though that has thankfully resolved itself.

I have only been working at this particular hotel for approximately three months, and since I work from 11:00 pm to 7:00 am, I am on shift when the [Breakfast Bar Girl] arrives. 

It’s 1:00 am when the phone rings, which is a little unusual.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel], this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Breakfast Bar Girl: *Slurring* “Hey, it’s [Breakfast Bar Girl].” *Giggles* “I’m really sick and won’t be in in the morning, but you should be able to cover the breakfast, right?” *Giggles some more*

Me: “No, I can’t. You’re supposed to notify the manager. Do you have a pen so you can take down her number?”

Breakfast Bar Girl: “Nooooo.” *Laughs and then pauses for a long time* “Why do I have to call her?”

Me: “Uh, because she has to come in and cover your shift or approve the overtime for me to wait until another manager comes in.”

Breakfast Bar Girl: “Well, can’t you call her? I can’t call her. You have to.”

She giggled again and hung up.

I was ready to jump through the phone and shake her. Her shift started at 5:30, and she was clearly drunk, and, by the sounds of it, having a good time with someone. I messaged the manager about her calling out, and he confirmed it.

Well, apparently, after calling out with the giggle illness, she came in to work anyway. The poor guy at the desk who had to replace me also reported to the manager that she was swaying and falling over a lot. 

The breakfast food was 90% gone before he realized he hadn’t seen her restock in a while and went to check. She had swayed her way into the pantry, shut the door behind her, and promptly passed out on the floor, where the front desk guy found her.

She mumbled refusals to wake up and slapped drunkenly at people who tried to shake her, and it took a glass of ice water to the face to bring her shrieking to awareness. She found herself looking at the front desk guy and a scowling manager with the empty glass in hand.

She slurred, “I kwuh… I quite… I, um, I quit,” and walked out.

An anonymous call to the police was made about a drunken driver on the road the instant her car started moving.