One of my distant cousins is, for lack of a better word, a bit of a sourpuss by all appearances. She’s very closed off and standoffish and is generally emotionless, but I’ve always chalked it up to her just being a private person. She also has Lyme Disease and was diagnosed while she was pregnant with twins. Both kids ended up having symptoms, and one of them had to get a cochlear implant.

On one of the rare occasions we get together, I try talking to her.

Me: “So, how are you doing?”

My cousin positively lit up and started talking like we were old friends. As it turns out, the entire six years she’s had Lyme Disease, not one person has asked how she was handling it, just the twins. I’m a little shocked that no one has asked, not even within the family, but I suppose they were too focused on the babies to realize.

I also found out that the reason she never smiles or shows much emotion is because the Lyme Disease gave her Bell’s Palsy on and off, and she’s self-conscious about it becoming apparent and someone pointing it out.

I have a very friendly regular who comes in super early every morning. They always order the same thing, and we always have a little talk.

Regular: “I just took one of those DNA test thingies.”

Me: “Oh, wow! Me, too!”

Regular: “It’s really cool.”

Me: “Yeah, the ancestry mix is amazing. My family is from so many places.”

Regular: “Yeah, but the family tree function is the best part. I found cousins and relatives I didn’t even know I had.”

Me: “Really? That’s on there?”

Regular: “Yes! You have to opt in. Want me to show you?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

Since it’s so early and quiet, the regular takes my phone and activates the “Relatives” section of the ancestry app. Straightaway, it highlights some distant cousins.

Me: “That’s so cool!”

The regular’s phone dings with a notification.

Regular: “Oh, would you look at that? I’ve got new relative matches, too!”

We both look at our phones for a moment to take in the new information, and then we both realize something. We look up at each other, shocked but smiling.

Me: “Your great-grandma was Nanna Beth from Brooklyn?”

Regular: “Hello, cousin!”

She’s no longer “just” my favorite regular now!

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My youngest cousin is, frankly, annoying as h***. She always has to be better than anyone, and her sense of humour consists of mocking, insulting, or hitting other people. Unfortunately, when she was little, most people thought it was cute and let her get away with it. She’s also very religious and has a “holier-than-thou” attitude. The majority of my family members are atheists and got tired of her attempts to proselytize us long ago, but at my brother’s wedding, she finds a new victim.

Cousin: “Have you welcomed Jesus into your heart yet?”

Friend: “Uh. I’ve heard of him. Personally, I’m a follower of the Raven Queen.”

Cousin: “But Jesus is our saviour! Don’t you want to go to Heaven? Have you even read the Bible?”

Friend: “Bits, yeah, in school.”

Cousin: “You should really take it more to heart! It speaks about how Jesus sacrificed Himself and died for our sins!”

Friend: “Don’t spoiler me! I didn’t get to that part yet!”

At this point, everyone around was listening, ready to save him from our over-zealous cousin. We all burst out laughing. So far, she hasn’t tried again!

One of my older cousins got married when I was in my early teens. Some of the bridal shower decorations were made with pearly pale pink beads. There were a few packs of beads leftover, so I used some of them to make a short necklace for my cousin. It didn’t look too different from any other inexpensive faux pearl necklace.

A few weeks later, she brought up the subject of the necklace.

Cousin: “It really is beautiful. Thank you.”

Me: “You’re welcome!”

Cousin: “You know the best part?”

Me: “What?”

Cousin: “I get to tell people, ‘Oh, my cousin made me a necklace for my wedding shower!’ and they assume I’m talking about a little kid. Then, I point to my neck and say, ‘Isn’t it pretty?’ and the look on their face is hilarious!”

She’s mostly stopped wearing jewelry since the birth of her first child, but I’m glad she got a few laughs out of it before it had to be hidden from grabby baby hands!

My cousin and his fiancé invite my family over for dinner at their new house. Having lived there for only a few weeks, they don’t have everything set up yet. I notice their TV isn’t mounted and is leaning against the wall. Later, his fiancé brings it up and I mention I noticed.

Fiancé: “Yeah, a couple of weeks ago [Cousin] invited a couple of his buddies over to help mount the TV and watch the game, and he told them to bring beer and tools. There was a mix-up as to who was bringing what, and they both only brought beer and ended up just drinking all night.”