Wish You Could Give This Customer The Boot

, , , | Right | August 23, 2020

The shoe store I work for requires us to bring at least four shoes to a customer, even if they ask for fewer. I bring out three shoes the customer asked for, as well as a fourth of my choosing.

Me: “And here’s a similar style for you to try on if you’re interested.”

The customer looks intently at the shoe.

Customer: “No, thanks. That’s not really my style.”

Me: “All right, I’m going to ring up another customer. Let me get these shoes out of your way.”

I come back in just a minute or two to ask how the shoes feel, having just put the others away.

Customer: “These are great, but I really like this one. Can I try it on, too?”

She holds up the shoe I JUST showed her that she said she didn’t like.

Me: “You sure can.”

My manager was in the back room doubled over laughing.

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Unfiltered Story #205745

, , | Unfiltered | August 21, 2020

“In ‘Merica, Fantastic Beasts find YOU”

(This happened in late January, 2017. I am in the process of sweeping when this lady and her teenaged daughter chase me down from halfway across the store to ask a question.)

Both at same time: *confusing mess of gobbledygook as they both ask at the same time*

Me: …I’m sorry, can you please repeat the question?

Lady: *condescendingly* Are you SERIOUSLY telling me you have NO copies of “Fantastic Beasts” left?

(I have told her nothing of the sort, but I try to remain civil.)

Me: You mean the book? *thinking she meant the copies of the movie’s screenplay we have on sale*

Lady: *scoffs loudly* NO. I mean the MOVIE. Are you seriously out already?

Me: …I’m sorry, ma’am, but if we don’t have a movie on display, we don’t have any more.

Lady: *snorts* I can’t believe you wouldn’t have something so POPULAR!

(She stormed off, dragging her kid behind her. The girl had a look on her face that said “kill me now.”)

(I’m sorry ma’am. Surely our small grocery store was remiss when we forgot to stock the movie you wanted, a full two months before it came out on DVD.)

This Is So Not Tré Cool

, , , , , , , | Friendly | August 20, 2020

I am eating out, sitting in a booth, when I suddenly feel a sharp pain on top of my head. I flinch and turn to look, and I end up dodging the second swing of a spoon being held by a toddler in the next booth over. He has evidently stood up and decided that drumming on my head with a spoon would be a lot of fun.

I look at his parents; both of them are fully engrossed in their phones and are paying absolutely no attention.

The toddler swings again. I dodge and then fix him with a direct stare and a frown, before sharply shaking my head.

Me: “No, that hurts.”

The smile he has been wearing fades, and he ends up turning around and flopping down on the seat. I turn back to my meal, figuring that is the end of it, when the mother speaks up.

Mother: “How dare you?!”

I turn to see her glaring back at me.

Mother: “It’s not your place to scold my kid.”

Me: “It’s not my place to be your kid’s drum, either.”

She scoffed and actually stuck out her tongue before turning back to her phone. Meanwhile, her kid had moved on to doodling on the menu with a couple of crayons.

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Pulling At That Purse String Until She Realizes

, , , , | Right | August 19, 2020

I am working customer service when the following phone call comes in.

Me: “[Grocery Store], this is—”


Me: “Please, first, what is your name?”

Caller: “It has my wallet, my keys, my makeup, my meds, my phone, just everything in it! Someone stole it at your store!”

Me: “Are you still close to the store?”

Caller: “No, I’m at home. I just got home and found that my purse was stolen.”

Me: “Are you calling from the phone that was in your purse?”

Caller: “Well… DUH! It’s the only phone I have!”

Me: “And you drove home?”

Caller: *Disgusted* “Well, I didn’t walk!

Me: “And your keys and phone were in your purse?”

Caller: “Well, yes!

Me: “Think about it.”

Caller: *Pause* “Oh…” *Click*

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Cash Back Attack, Part 11

, , , , , , | Right | August 14, 2020

I am at the register at work, helping the cashier get a long line down as that is one of my duties as a manager. The customer is a man in his mid-to-late thirties with an army tattoo on his arm and a T-shirt with an American flag.

I have just opened a drawer to help my cashier, so I have the minimum amount of cash in the drawer. There is a sign by the screen that shows the total and another by the pin-pad, both of which say, “No Cashback,” in big, bold letters. This is because I literally do not have the money in the till to pay out a large cash order.

He pays with a debit card and decides to select $50 cashback on the pin-pad without telling me. When the receipt printed, it is already too late; it has already charged the amount to his card, so I either have to give him his money or cancel out the order entirely. Canceling orders after payment is made is not something we do often at the store and the void would show negatively on my record for the day.

Also, based on the smug look he fixes me with — that of someone who is used to getting his own way — I figure he will be the kind to throw a hissy fit if confronted directly and I do not have time.

I make it no secret how much of a problem he has caused as I count out almost every dollar in my register drawer. I speak as I count $1 bills.

Me: “The sign says, ‘No cashback.’”

Customer: “I saw, but the machine still let me do it.”

I explain through a forced smile.

Me: “I just opened this drawer. I may not have the money to give you this cashback.” 

Customer: “Oh.”

He at least has enough sense to look embarrassed as he realizes he is literally taking everything in the drawer.

I continue to count silently — it is a lot of ones — and apparently he can tell I am very irritated. He starts to huff and speak in his own defense.

Customer: “It’s not the worst thing ever; you ever serve?”

There it is. He assumes that his cred as a vet will get him kudos or sympathy or at least make him feel less small than his own inconsiderate behavior just has. 

Me: “No, I have not. I couldn’t; they would not accept me due to my medical issues and post-traumatic stress after extensive child abuse. We each have our own sufferings in life, none of which are relevant now.”

He stares, dumbfounded, as I double-count the money because he interrupted my count. I hand him his change and he counts it again, refusing to move out of the way of the customer behind him, one of our regulars.

He hands me two dollars back, saying he doesn’t want my drawer to be off count as if I gave him the wrong change. He looks meaningfully at the cashier to make sure she heard what he said. I believe he assumes she is the superior as she is older than I am and I have very colorful, unnatural hair and tattoos. I do not bother to correct him; I just let him walk away without two dollars of his change, still somehow thinking he has made me look like a fool.

The customer behind him grins and gestures to the man proudly swaggering out the door after shortchanging himself.

Regular: “You were right; I counted along with you. The look on his face when you shut him up made my day.”

I laughed and chatted happily with the regular until he, too, went on his way. Then, I shared a weary glance with my cashier and went about my work. Sure enough, my drawer was two dollars over that night.

Cash Back Attack, Part 10
Cash Back Attack, Part 9
Cash Back Attack, Part 8
Cash Back Attack, Part 7
Cash Back Attack, Part 6

This story is part of our Best Of August 2020 roundup!

Read the next Best Of August 2020 story!

Read the Best Of August 2020 roundup!

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