Trying To Resuscitate Their Knowledge

, , , , , , | Learning | November 9, 2017

(My coworker has just returned from a three-day first aid course, so he can be qualified as the first aide for our pool and gym. On his first day back, we are discussing how his course went.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, God, the course was so boring. I had to fight to stay awake the entire time.”

Me: “Was there nothing that interested you?”

Coworker #1: “Well, the guy who took the course did say he had done something from the course a lot of times.”

Coworker #2: “Resuscitate someone?”

Coworker #1: “No something else, to help keep them alive.”

Coworker #2: “Resuscitation?”

Coworker #1: “No, it was something else! The main thing we learned.”

Coworker #2: “That’s resuscitation!”

Coworker #1: “CPR! He had done CPR to save people!”

Coworker #2 & Me: “What do you think the ‘R’ stands for?”

Coworker #1: “…”

Me: “Please tell me you didn’t sleep through the course.”

(We don’t plan to leave him as the sole first aide of the gym any time soon.)

There Are Some Things You Just Don’t Do, Period

, , , , , | Working | October 27, 2017

(I work as a cleaner for a gym. I also have a bladder problem that makes me go to the bathroom a lot. Plus, this day I’m on my period, so I go.)

Boss: “Why were you in the bathroom for so long? I don’t pay you to go!”

Me: *embarrassed* “I have a bladder issue.”

Boss: “Whatever! Clean those mirrors!”

(I go, but the feeling comes back so I run back in the bathroom. I’m finishing up when I see two eyes peeping at me! They’re not [Boss], so I go to him.)

Me: “Did you send someone to peep at me?!”

Boss: “I had no choice! You were in there slacking off! My other employee saw you!”

Me: “I’m on my period! And it’s illegal to peep on someone while they’re on the toilet; it’s called voyeurism!”

Boss: “I didn’t do it! It was my employee!”

(I quit that day. Really, who sends someone to peep at others?)

The Only Trauma Is For The Parent

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(Our gym is right next to an adult store that has several mannequins in lingerie.)

Customer: *in a fury* “How can you be right next to that disgusting store?! My kids will be traumatized!”

Me: “Sorry, but we have no control over that.”

Customer: “Hmph!”

(She pushes her kids, who look like teenagers, out the door. I can see her yelling and banging on the adult store’s door until an employee comes out. The employee speaks to her, and the crazy customer swings at her, misses, and stomps off. Then the employee comes into my gym.)

Me: “You okay? She’s crazy.”

Employee: “I guess I shouldn’t have told her that I’ve seen her kids try to sneak in there!”

H2OMG

, , , , | Right | September 25, 2017

(I work at the front desk of a recreation center that has a pool in it. The pool is scheduled to shut down for annual maintenance, as it does every year. An elderly man comes in and walks up to me in a huff.)

Old Man: “Why are you closing the pool for a week this year?”

Me: “Sir, we always have. It’s an annual—”

Old Man: “Why? What’s wrong with the pool?!”

Me: “Sir, were resurfacing the bottom of the pool.”

Old Man: “Why can’t you just take the water off the bottom, and just leave the rest of the pool open?”

Not So Hot About Your Hot Dogs

, , , , | Working | September 8, 2017

(I recently got hired as a laundry person; it is my job to gather the dirty towels from the female locker rooms, and place them in the washer. There is another guy who does the towels from the men’s locker rooms, and he is always listening to his headphones, but he nods to me. I’m a naturally quiet person, so I’m just folding the towels. I have a bad feeling about him, but I just put it off.)

Coworker: “Hi.”

Me: “Hi.”

(He gives me a weird look and takes off. Later, as I’m loading up the washer, he sneaks up behind me and forcefully takes the wet towels and shoves them into the washer, nearly hitting me. I can hear the music on his headphones. It’s rap with some explicit lyrics… against females.)

Coworker: “You have to do it fast!” *condescendingly* “Understand?”

Me: “Okay… Thanks.”

(The next day, he comes up to me again while I’m folding.)

Coworker: “Hey! You like eating hot dogs?”

Me: “Uh, no, I don’t like hot dogs.”

(His expression suddenly turns to a rage.)

Coworker: “You don’t have to be uptight! Work can be fun, you know!”

(He glared at me, fists clenched, and I felt very unsafe, since there was no one else around at that moment. He stormed off, and I was left feeling bewildered. I told the truth, I don’t like hot dogs. Or maybe he was alluding to something? I told my supervisor exactly what happened and he told the guy to leave me alone. He didn’t say anything else to me, but stood there, glaring with fists clenched, while I worked, and it was so creepy that I left soon after. Luckily, I was able to find another job after, without creeps as coworkers.)

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