When Reading Is The Hardest Exercise At The Gym

, , , , | Right | February 26, 2021

I walk up to the desk of my rec centre after work to renew my gym membership. A world-weary woman behind the counter looks up at me.

Attendant: “Are you here for the gym or pool?”

Me: “Umm, I’m looking to renew my gym membership. The pool’s closed for two weeks.”

Attendant: “Wait. You know that?”

I look at her strangely.

Me: “Yeah. There’ve been signs in the parking garage and on the doors for weeks. I was staring at three signs about it as I was waiting in line. I saw it in big letters on your webpage when I checked your hours. I mean, my hand is resting on a Sharpie-written notice right now.”

Attendant: “So… some people do see them…”

Me: “I am so sorry about your next two weeks. Here’s my card to renew.”

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New Year’s Devolution

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2021

I work at a gym and I’m greeting members at our front desk. A member is leaving and has a few questions. For reference, we were at a level red and have recently moved to level orange for disease prevention, which means we are allowed to up our max capacity.

Member: “Why does it seem busier than it was last week?”

Me: “Since moving to level orange, we were able to increase our capacity.”

Member: “What does that mean?”

Me: “We were running at 10% capacity and now we’re running at 25% capacity.”

Member: “I don’t know what that means.”

Me: “With the level red, we were allowed to have a max of ninety people in the gym at a time. Now, we are allowed to have a max of 180.”

Member: “I still don’t get why that would make it busier.”

Me: *Pauses* “It’s January. Everyone’s here for their New Year’s resolution and this is our peak hour.”

Member: “I still don’t get it, but okay.”

The member leaves and my coworker walks up to me.

Coworker: “I don’t know how else you could have explained that to him.”

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His Opinion Carries No Weights, Part 2

, , , , | Working | November 5, 2020

I am doing an internship for a few months. I am living in quite a poor area and going to a very local gym. During my first days at the gym, I ask the coach there what the barbell weight is, as it doesn’t look like a standard fifteen or twenty kg.

Me: “Hey, how heavy is this barbell?”

Coach: “Oh, we don’t know; we don’t have a scale.”

I’m a bit confused because there is one just at the entrance.

Me: “What about that one there? It doesn’t work?”

Coach: “Oh, yes, it does, but not for that.”

Me: *Confused* “Why?”

Coach: “Because it’s only for humans.”

Me: “But…”

This was Manila; I didn’t speak English fluently, and neither did the coach, so I didn’t argue anymore, but he seemed rather confused when I weighed myself and then myself AND the barbell.

Related:
His Opinion Carries No Weights

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You Have To Use Your Brain Periodically

, , , , | Working | October 26, 2020

I am working the front desk at a gym. For reference, I am a twenty-six-year-old female and my manager is male and twenty-four years old. A female member approaches us.

Member: *In a lower voice* “Hi there. I’m super embarrassed, but my period just started and I’m not prepared and don’t have any change on me. Can you help me out?”

Me: *Lowered voice* “Absolutely! Don’t worry about it; it happens all the time. Let me grab someone to get the key to the dispenser in the locker room.”

My coworker who is also a female walks up and I ask her for the key. My manager overhears.

Manager: “The what? What’s going on? What dispenser?”

Me: “There’s a dispenser in the women’s locker room that has tampons and pads.”

Manager: “Oh, we don’t have one of those in the mens’.”

All three of us look at him blankly.

My coworker is able to help the member out, and after they leave, my manager comes back up to me.

Manager: “Well, that was a really weird request, wasn’t it?”

Me: “No, not really.”

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Calories And Money To Burn

, , , , , , | Learning | October 24, 2020

In our younger days, my husband and I sign up for a “boot camp” fitness class. This class is pretty intense and fairly expensive; if memory serves, it costs $300 per person for ten classes.

At the start of the first class, our instructor does a quick roll-call. She frowns and comments:

Instructor: “Hmm, [Classmate] isn’t here. That’s a shame; attending the first class is pretty crucial, because I go over some important techniques. Oh, well. I’ll call her later and see what happened.”

At the start of the second class, [Classmate] is once again a no-show. Someone asks [Instructor] if she’d gotten hold of her.

Instructor: “Oh, yeah. She told me that she got super busy and was unable to make that first class, but she swore she’d be here today. I reminded her that she’d spent $300 and asked if another class time would fit her schedule better, but she said no.”

Third class, still no [Classmate].  

Fourth class, ditto. And so it went. She never did show up, despite [Instructor] bending over backward to try to accommodate her. [Classmate] always had an excuse: “I got busy,” “I forgot,” “I got stuck in traffic,” etc.

[Instructor] even offered to refund some of her money, because she felt bad for taking it and not providing anything in return. [Classmate] indignantly refused this offer.

Classmate: *Defensively* “I’m going to come! I just keep having bad luck!”

As for my husband and me, we enjoyed the class so much, we signed up again for the next session. So did [Classmate]. And you can probably guess what happened.

I guess some folks just have money to burn!

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