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Dad Gets An F

, , , , , , , , | Right | September 15, 2021

I work in the childcare area at a gym. There is a three-year-old who is walking around flipping off the teachers and other kids in the room. He also has said, “F*** you,” to a few of the kids. When the parents pick him up, I have a conversation with them. 

Me: “Hi there, I hope your workout was good. Can we chat really quick?”

Mom: “What’s up?”

Me: *In a quiet voice* “I just wanted to make you aware that we had a few problems today with [Child]. He was flipping off some of the teachers and other kids, and I caught him using the F-word.”

Mom looks baffled and Dad has an “Oh, crap!” expression on his face.

Mom:What?! That’s impossible! He doesn’t even know that word. I’m home all day with him and I don’t use that word! There’s no way he used that word or flipped anyone off.”

Mom continues to rant at me, implying that I’m not telling the truth.

Dad: *To their son* “Were you flipping people off and saying ‘f***’?”

Son: “Uh-huh!”

Mom: *To her son* “Where did you learn that from?!”

Son: “From Dad when he yells at other cars!”

Dad looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him, and Mom stopped yelling. They quickly left, with Mom now yelling at Dad.

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Your Lack Of Motivation Is Not My Problem

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 15, 2021

I’ve been training for an upcoming charity obstacle course. Luckily, there is a circuit class running on a field right by my house. I’m early and watching over the equipment while the trainer runs home to fetch something.

A middle-aged woman walks over to me.

Woman: “Do you have to do that here?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “The running around.”

Me: “Oh, the class? It’s not mine, actually. I just attend.”

Woman: “Well, you shouldn’t! It makes me feel bad.”

Me: “It what?”

Woman: “I can see you all from my house, running and jumping around. It makes me feel bad about myself.”

Me: “Okay? I mean, you could join us. First lesson is free.”

Woman: “No. Why should I? You should just stop!”

Me: “Okay, I’m not going to bother talking with you anymore. If you don’t like it, don’t watch.”

The houses aren’t even close by; she must have been straining to see us. I turned back to see her kick a medicine ball out of frustration only for her to hurt her foot and limp the long walk back to her house.

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She Gets A Lot Of Exercise By Running (Her Mouth)

, , , , , | Friendly | September 8, 2021

I’m a bit of a fitness nut. I’m not in the best shape, but I’m fit and I enjoy it. I’ve only ever trained at home, and a new outdoor class is really popular online, so I email the instructor and turn up for the next session 

I catch up with the instructor before the lesson, explain who I am, and tell her that this is my first fitness class. She puts me near the other newbies and tells me to follow along as best as possible.

One newbie has overheard my conversation. 

Newbie: “Hi, I’m [Newbie]. This is my fourth week. It seems pretty intense, but you can stop for breaks whenever you want.”

Throughout, [Newbie] offers “advice” on how I should be doing the moves, although I’m sure I am doing just fine. [Newbie] is barely managing herself.

At the end, [Newbie] gives me her evaluation, which I didn’t ask for.

Newbie: “Not bad, but try to get the moves right and your knees up. I would say you did okay.”

Instructor: “Amazing first session. Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

Me: “It’s my first proper class; I’ve done plenty of virtual stuff.”

Instructor: “Seriously, absolutely great. Not a thing wrong. [Newbie], could we try to be a bit more controlled in our movements?”

The instructor walks off. [Newbie] isn’t happy with me.

Newbie: “You lied. You made me look stupid!”

Me: “No, you were listing in on someone else’s conversation and made yourself look stupid.”

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Bad Customers Need To Be Cancelled

, , , | Right | August 20, 2021

Due to the ongoing health crisis, corporate has amended our gym’s cancelation policy to allow us to cancel accounts over the phone. This call occurs on the day that monthly dues are pulled.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Gym]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Member: *Already yelling* “I wanna know why I got charged when I called three times to cancel, and I want my money back!”

Me: “Let me look into that. What’s your phone number so I can look up your account?”

The member gives me her number. I find her account and immediately see several red flags. She has another account in RFC, which means she stopped paying until it went to a collections agency, and she owes almost $100 on that account, so there’s no way she’s going to get any more money back from us. Two other red flags are the absence of a cancelation document on the active account or notes detailing two of her claimed previous conversations, so just one note from one conversation. Still, people make mistakes, so I give her the benefit of the doubt regarding previous calls.

Me: “It’s showing me that your account is still active, I don’t see any cancelation document, and I only see a note from one previous call. Do you remember who you spoke to the other times?”

Member: *Now screaming* “I told that b**** to cancel me out! Put her on the phone!”

Me: “The note she left says she asked you if you wanted to cancel—”

Member: *Interrupting me* “I TOLD HER I WANTED TO CANCEL!”

Me: “And that you hung up on her without answering. Without verbal confirmation that you wanted to cancel, she was not able to cancel your account.”

I begin the usually quick process of canceling her, forgoing the usual “Would you like to freeze, instead?” questions. She continues screaming.


I finish canceling the account, barely keeping my temper but maintaining a tone of calm professionalism.

Me: “The email address we have on file for you is—”

Member: *Interrupts again* “I DON’T F****** CARE WHAT EMAIL YOU HAVE!”

Me: *Still calmly, reads off email* “Is that correct?”


I am tired of hearing my coworker disparaged like this. She’s a great worker, she always does her best to help members out, and she’s also my shift lead, so she knows what she’s doing.

Me: “[Member]?”

The member keeps yelling.

Me: “[Member]!”

Member: “What?!”

Me: “[Member], you’re going to stop screaming at me, you’re going to stop swearing at me, and I won’t be putting my coworker on the phone to be verbally abused by you. I’ve completed your cancelation and a confirmation email is on its way to you, which is why I confirmed the email address. Now, regarding a refund, my assistant manager is here and I can put him on the phone. Would you like to speak with him?”

Member: *Finally quiet* “Yes.”

Me: “All right, one moment, please.”

I put her on hold and explained the situation to my manager. He took over, listened to her scream again, and told her in no uncertain terms that she would not get her money back because we’ve been open for four months and there’s no proof that she actually tried to cancel before screaming at my shift lead. She was naturally quite angry, but since she’s canceled, she’s not our problem anymore. To my knowledge, she hasn’t called back again.

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That Sounds Plain Uncomfortable

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 19, 2021

Some fourteen years ago I was on a business trip in Germany. The hotel I was in had a wellness area with a sauna and a little gym just beside it. As those two rooms were beside each other with identical doors — the only difference was the names “Gym” and “Sauna” on the doors — they would get people in their bathrobes and clutching towels opening the gym door, turning on their heels, and leaving for the right room. In Germany, you are usually expected to be naked in the sauna.

I had a long day ahead, so I was running on the treadmill at about 6:30 am, enjoying the quiet and clean air. Suddenly, the door opened and in came a guy with a towel wrapped around his waist. I thought I’d get the usual reaction: “Oops, sorry, wrong room.”

No. This guy just dropped the towel and, naked as a baby, hopped on the treadmill, selected a programme, and started running.

I remember being very confused. Was he some kind of a perv? Or just used to being naked so he didn’t care? 

Nevertheless, I didn’t last long because, in all honesty, the sight of a man running while his ding-dong moves like a metronome can be pretty funny, but not so much that I would like to watch it in the mirror for a long time. I moved to a stationary bike and then left soon afterward while the man was still running.

It was an incredible experience and one I am happy to share but don’t need to experience again.

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