Yishun is essentially the Florida of Singapore. A whole load of weird and scary things happen there compared to the rest of the country. As such, Yishun has racked up a somewhat negative reputation. Some of the more superstitious Singaporeans have even started calling the place cursed or haunted, including quite a few of my Army buddies.

My younger brother is an aspiring writer. I’m reading his latest manuscript.

Me: “So, the plot is essentially that the SAF [Singapore Armed Forces] has a unit of wizards that act as a rapid-response strike force to fight against ghost pirates and demons in the Straits of Malacca.”

Brother: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “And they’re garrisoned in a fictional ‘Yishun Camp’.”

Brother: “Yup.”

There’s a long pause.

Me: “I’d buy that. A couple hundred wizards camping out in Yishun would explain a lot about the place.”

My nine-year-old is reading a book and comes across a word she’s apparently heard in a different context from her teacher, who’s from England.

Daughter: “Mom, does ‘poaching’ mean something different in England?”

Me: “Well, it has two meanings, both in England and here. It’s a way of cooking, and it’s also hunting illegally.”

Daughter: “Okay, now this book makes more sense. I didn’t get how the characters were hunting in their kitchen.”

Me: “Right. You can poach an egg or fish…” *realization dawns as I’m speaking* “…or… you can poach an egg or fish.”

I work at a publishing house and started working on a new project where the author wanted fifty images in his book. I sent him an email asking for the image files, and he called me back.

Client: “So, you’ve asked that I send you the images at 300dpi and all these other requirements that I don’t understand. Didn’t you get the file I sent you?”

The file he sent me was a .DOC with the images pasted there.

Me: “I did, thank you, but I need the image files themselves.”

Client: “I don’t have them. Just Google!”

Me: “What about the image permissions?”

Client: “Well, in a perfect world, this book would be on the New York Times bestseller list and everyone would read it, but that’s not going to happen, so I don’t think anyone will notice.”

Me: “But stealing images and hoping no one notices won’t work except in a perfect world.”

Client: “Okay, so you’ll do that.”

I ended up reverse-searching all of the images from his .DOC file and chasing down permissions for a week, none of which was in my job description.

I am in a bookstore. A lady is looking a bit desperately at the shelves while already engaging with another patron.

Patron: “Well, I don’t know the title, and for the moment, I just draw a blank regarding the author’s name.“

Me: “Ah, the famous ‘it has a blue cover.'”

Patron: “I don’t even know the cover.“

It turned out that she was reading the book in the original language, but it turned out a bit too complicated, and as she really liked the book, she wanted to read it in Dutch. Kudos to the employees, though; when I passed her again, she was at the information desk ordering the book. She recognized me and told me radiantly, “They found it!”

I am cashiering at a major bookstore. A customer comes in asking for a particular novel.

Unlike other customers, this one knows the name of the book. She knows the author of the book. She knows the publisher and the release date. She even knows the ISBN of the book. However, I still cannot find the book in our records. After digging around with the ISBN, I finally find the reason.

I’m still lost as to how a young adult in her twenties could get so much information on a book and yet never once note that it’s a digital eBook release only!