(I work at a boarding kennel for dogs and cats. Part of the job is walking the dogs — the friendly ones, anyway — once or twice a day. I am walking a big, goofy, friendly black lab at the parking area. A middle-aged woman and a girl of about eight or nine park there and cautiously approach me.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, is the family home?”

(To this day I’m not sure if she didn’t realize that it was a business, but regardless, there is no “family,” just my boss and her husband.)

Me: “The owner is down at the office, and her husband works nights, so he’s likely asleep right now.”

Woman: “Is it all right if I leave some literature?”

(She is holding some Bible tracts.)

Me: “The kennel has a no solicitors policy, and like I said, her husband is probably sleeping and wouldn’t take kindly to being woken up.”

Woman: “Do you go to church?”

Me: “I don’t discuss religion or politics in the workplace, ma’am.”

(This is still true, to this day.)

Woman: “Can I leave these with you?”

(I’m getting annoyed. Fortunately, the lab I’m walking is very excited at the prospect of meeting new people, so he’s really tugging on the leash. The little girl looks like she wants to pet the dog, but the woman looks wary, so I use his behavior as an excuse.)

Me: “He’s getting pretty agitated… Better get back in your car! I’ll get him back to his cage!”

Woman: “Oh, my! Be careful!”

Me: “I’ll try! Have a nice day!”

(The lab and I ran back down to the kennel. I kept an eye out, just in case she tried bothering the boss’s husband, but common sense won and she just left. I don’t bother people about their religions. I might even discuss religion with someone if I was interested. But DON’T force your religion on other people. They’re not interested in handouts or being bothered while they’re working, at home, or otherwise minding their own business.)

(I’ve been applying for jobs and have gotten an interview at a gas station, specifically for the night shift. The woman interviewing me is very casual and laid-back, which makes me feel very comfortable about the position.)

Interviewer: “And you do get a few strange folk during the night, but nothing too creepy. One guy asked to lick me because he wanted to know if I taste as sweet as I look.”

(She seemed completely unconcerned about the incident, and even laughed. I left the interview with no intention of ever working a gas station, anywhere.)

Content Warning: Car Accident.

I work at an inbound call center that answers for roughly 400 different companies, one of those being an American car-sharing program. I got a call, and the woman on the other end casually informed me that she had just been in an accident.

I asked if she’d had a collision with an object or another person; she replied that it was involving another person. I asked if she’d gotten the other person’s info.

Her response was, “No, because he is not alive anymore.”

It took me a couple seconds to process that, and I continued with the accident report.

The kicker is, the entire time I was filling everything out, she was sitting there complaining about the cold, and kept asking how much longer it was going to take.

That’s what was the most unsettling part of the call: the fact that she had just killed a guy — accidentally, but still — and did not seem to care at all.

Not something I’m going to forget any time soon!

A gentleman comes in and he’s got a return. I pull his item out of the bag, and it has a green price label on it containing a couple short sets of numbers, too short to be an item SKU, and a price of $1.99 — our labels typically don’t have prices.

After having another department provide the SKU for the thing, I’m running through the refund process and not finding this item in the records, with a manager over my shoulder. And this is where the manager pieces together why I can’t find anything on this item:

One of the short sets of numbers is the date the price label was put on this item… He’s seeking a $1.99 refund for an item he’s had laying around for 18 years. And we gave it to him.

(I work on the deli counter of a large UK supermarket chain. I recently served a guy who was either high or an alien.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’d like some normal ham, please.”

Me: “We have several different kinds of ham; which one would you like?”

(The customer randomly points at the honey roast ham.)

Customer: “I’ll have that one.”

Me: “Okay, how much would you like?

Customer: “The normal amount.”

Me: “All the ham we sell is sold by weight, so there’s no set amount;, you can have as much as you like.”

Customer: “Give me as much as I deserve.”

(I grab a random amount of ham slices, wrap them, and then hand them to him.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know this place, all the food here… I can buy as much as I want, right?”

Me: “Yes, as long as we have the stock, you can buy as much as you want.”

(The customer grinned at me and wandered away, mumbling, “Wow, this is amazing.”)