(Our load of plastic shopping bags doesn’t come in, and we end up running out. We start using the environmentally-friendly bags, which are usually $2, free of charge to pack the shopping with.)

Me: “Hi, how are you this evening?”

Customer: “Where are your plastic bags? I want plastic bags. I don’t want to be charged with these rubbish enviro-friendly bags.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we have actually run out of plastic bags. But we’re not charging you for these bags, as it was not your fault we ran out.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you; go check the back for plastic bags!”

Me: “Sir, trust me; we’ve run out of them. We’re losing money by giving these bags out for free, and they are more difficult to pack. If we had plastic bags I’d be more than happy to use them, but because we clearly don’t, you’ll just have to put up with these bags that are normally $2, free of charge.”

(By this point he got quiet, and paid and left. I wished him a good night and he smiled back.)

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(I am setting up a new fish tank and have bought a light from a store. When I try to set it up, I find that the light doesn’t work and there are actually scorch marks around the fluorescent starter. I return it to the store, I have just been given my money back, and I am walking away from the service desk.)

Cashier: “Hey, [Coworker], that fish tank light has been returned again.”

(A five-year-old girl has arrived late at school. I asked her what happened, since it is quite unusual for her.)

Student: *indignant huff* “WELL! I would have been here on time, but Daddy went up to say goodbye to Mummy. She was having a shower and it took him aaaages! And when he came downstairs he was all wet and had to get changed before we could drive to school!”

(We don’t argue very often but when we do, my husband usually makes a comment that I should just pack up and leave. It’s never him doing the leaving; it’s always me — especially when the argument is not going his way. He’s following a pattern that I’ve seen his parents follow with each other. Saying anything about it just starts a whole new argument. We’ve had one of these arguments, he’s gone to work the next day, and I’ve stripped everything of mine out of the bedroom. I leave my drawers and wardrobe open for effect. Our teenagers have noticed and asked what I am doing as I carry everything to our back room.)

Me: “Oh, I’m just sorting through my clothes and stuff. I need to get rid of things and de-clutter.”

(I am sitting out, folding and sorting, when I hear my husband get home and go into the bedroom. A few moments later I hear him in the kitchen with my son.)

Husband: *very quietly* “Do you know where Mum is?”

Son: “Yeah, she is in the family room.”

(I don’t even acknowledge him as he looks in the door, just keep folding my clothes while watching TV. I think my passive-aggressive lesson worked; he’s never made a comment like that in the five years since.)

(It’s early morning, and we are making ourselves some breakfast before we start working. One of my coworkers is of an ethnicity where the sharing of food is of utmost importance. She will not eat her food without offering it to others, even if she only just has enough for herself. She has just made herself some toast.)

Coworker #1: “[My Name], would you like some?” *holds out her plate*

Me: “No, thanks. You eat it.”

Coworker #1: *pushing plate towards me* “Are you sure you don’t want some?”

Me: “Yes, I am; I have my own food on the table.”

(Another coworker comes into the room.)

Coworker #1: “[Coworker #2], would you like some toast?” *holds out plate*

Coworker #2: “Yes, please. I didn’t get anything for breakfast today because I thought I was going to be late.” *reaches out for a piece*

(I watch in amusement as [Coworker #1]’s hand moves the plate away as it is reached for. [Coworker #2] puts down her hand.)

Coworker #1: “Aren’t you going to take it?”

(Again, [Coworker #1] pushes the plate towards [Coworker #2], and again the plate is withdrawn as [Coworker #2]’s hand moves towards it. [Coworker #2] has a confused look on her face as she puts her hand down.)

Me: “You can have some of mine; I still have more in the packet on the table.”

Coworker #2: “Thanks.” *starts moving towards the table*

Coworker #1: *starting to get agitated* “Why won’t you take some?”

Coworker #2: “I didn’t think you wanted me to have a piece.”

Coworker #1: “I’ve been trying to give you the whole plate and you won’t take it.”

Coworker #2: “I only wanted a piece.” *she is finally able to take a piece of toast*

(I could see that [Coworker #1] had no idea that she was doing what she had been doing; it was obvious that subconsciously she did not want to share!)