I used to work in a small boutique-style coffee shop that was attached to a game and hobby store that catered to neurodivergent individuals. (The coffee shop was there because the boss/owner loved coffee, and it gave the parents of neurodivergent kids a place to chill for a bit while they were doing activities.)
It wasn’t much, but it was work, and I loved it.
We were in an industrial estate, with other similar coffee shops/cafes around, so our customers were usually either people visiting the main store or from the businesses in our complex.
One Saturday afternoon, we were the only coffee shop open, so we were a little busier than normal. I was dealing with customers, while my coworker was handling the coffee shop. We’d done a few coffees so far that afternoon and were just cleaning up after the last customer, when another customer walked in. She had an air about her that she was the most important person in the room, and she certainly had the demeanour of someone not used to being sent on a coffee order.
Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “Give me—”
She proceeds to rattle off a list of about fifteen different drinks, both hot and cold.
Coworker: “No problem. You’ll have to give me a little bit to make all of these. Did you want to come back and collect them?”
Customer: “No, I’ll wait.”
She then proceeded to do things on her phone.
My coworker was a fantastic barista, but even the best barista in the world can only make coffees so quickly on a small coffee machine. At best, we could make three coffees at once, but due to the size and nature of the machine, each making cycle would take a few minutes.
Taking into account the various coffee types, different sizes, etc., the customer was looking at about a twenty-five-minute wait for all of them to be made. My coworker informed her of this, but she just waved him off.
There was only enough room for one barista behind the coffee machine, so I couldn’t assist him. Plus, I had other customers I was assisting. As he made the coffees, he asked the customer if she wanted to grab them or if she wanted him to keep them on top of the machine to keep them as hot as possible. She opted to grab them and ferried them out to her car.
Once the coffees were made, you had to go to the main counter (where I was) in order to pay. She approached the counter and thrust the list into my face.
Me: “Thanks for coming in. Let me just read back your—”
Customer: “I’m not happy with your service. I’ve wasted all twenty minutes — and then some — of my lunch break waiting for you to make some d*** coffees, and now they’re all f****** cold!”
Bear in mind, that I had a lot of kids and parents in the shop.
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. However, I will ask that you please refrain from swearing in my shop.”
She looked quite annoyed by this. I then read out her total and informed her that, because she had ordered so many coffees, I would give her a discount of 5% off her entire order.
Customer: “With the level of service you provide, I should get at least 50%! Your prices are ridiculous!”
We were the cheapest coffee shop in the area.
I’m a non-confrontational guy, and I’m usually good with customers, even ones like her. However, if you abuse me or my staff, any respect I did have for you as a human being goes out the window.
By this point, my customers, all of whom were my regulars, were watching the interaction. I could see that some were about ready to intervene. I just held up a hand, motioning that I had this.
Me: “Okay, just so we’re clear. You come into a small coffee shop and order fifteen coffees off the bat without calling ahead so we can minimise your time waiting. We inform you of the wait time, and you accept that. Then, you come up here, swear at me, and shove a list in my face, which, by all means, should warrant me refusing service to you, and then, even after I give you a discount, you still demand a bigger discount? Is that right?”
By this point, I’d removed the 5% discount (about $2.50) and replaced it with a $1-off discount on one of the coffees.
Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait twenty minutes for coffee! I’m not going to pay for cold coffee that I expect to be hot!”
Me: “All right, then. Now, you have two choices. Either you can pay the total, which is [total], or you can leave all the coffees here, leave, and not return to my store. The choice is yours.”
She ended up paying for the coffees and leaving, but not before requesting a receipt, which we email to customers, so she put her email into our system. I had flagged it as a “DO NOT SERVE – BANNED” account before she’d left the shop. I also gave her our business card, in case she wanted to file a complaint (which she never did).
It was a fun day!
Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 20
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 19
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 18
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 17
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 16