I worked in a store that sold computers, and the current sale we had going was that if you bought certain computers, you would get one of those ‘cheap’ Android tablets (worth $99, but the cost price was $25) for free.

A customer walks into the store, and I recognise her as someone I sold a computer to in the last few days with the tablet deal.

Customer: “I got this tablet a few days ago, and I don’t need it. I would like to return it.”

Me: “Sure, can I see the receipt?”

The customer hands over a receipt, which shows the tablet zeroed out (usually a bold line on the receipt with a [B] at the end).

Me: “You got this tablet under the deal we had a few days ago, so you got this for free. I can take it back, but you would be better off selling this on Facebook or something.”

Customer: “No, it was $99, so I’d like that back.”

I spend about ten minutes trying to explain that’s not how it works, until the manager comes over and (not politely) states the situation and tells her to f*** off.

I used to work in a small boutique-style coffee shop that was attached to a game and hobby store that catered to neurodivergent individuals. (The coffee shop was there because the boss/owner loved coffee, and it gave the parents of neurodivergent kids a place to chill for a bit while they were doing activities.)

It wasn’t much, but it was work, and I loved it.

We were in an industrial estate, with other similar coffee shops/cafes around, so our customers were usually either people visiting the main store or from the businesses in our complex.

One Saturday afternoon, we were the only coffee shop open, so we were a little busier than normal. I was dealing with customers, while my coworker was handling the coffee shop. We’d done a few coffees so far that afternoon and were just cleaning up after the last customer, when another customer walked in. She had an air about her that she was the most important person in the room, and she certainly had the demeanour of someone not used to being sent on a coffee order.

Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Give me—”

She proceeds to rattle off a list of about fifteen different drinks, both hot and cold.

Coworker: “No problem. You’ll have to give me a little bit to make all of these. Did you want to come back and collect them?”

Customer: “No, I’ll wait.”

She then proceeded to do things on her phone.

My coworker was a fantastic barista, but even the best barista in the world can only make coffees so quickly on a small coffee machine. At best, we could make three coffees at once, but due to the size and nature of the machine, each making cycle would take a few minutes.

Taking into account the various coffee types, different sizes, etc., the customer was looking at about a twenty-five-minute wait for all of them to be made. My coworker informed her of this, but she just waved him off.

There was only enough room for one barista behind the coffee machine, so I couldn’t assist him. Plus, I had other customers I was assisting. As he made the coffees, he asked the customer if she wanted to grab them or if she wanted him to keep them on top of the machine to keep them as hot as possible. She opted to grab them and ferried them out to her car.

Once the coffees were made, you had to go to the main counter (where I was) in order to pay. She approached the counter and thrust the list into my face.

Me: “Thanks for coming in. Let me just read back your—”

Customer: “I’m not happy with your service. I’ve wasted all twenty minutes — and then some — of my lunch break waiting for you to make some d*** coffees, and now they’re all f****** cold!”

Bear in mind, that I had a lot of kids and parents in the shop.

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. However, I will ask that you please refrain from swearing in my shop.”

She looked quite annoyed by this. I then read out her total and informed her that, because she had ordered so many coffees, I would give her a discount of 5% off her entire order.

Customer: “With the level of service you provide, I should get at least 50%! Your prices are ridiculous!”

We were the cheapest coffee shop in the area.

I’m a non-confrontational guy, and I’m usually good with customers, even ones like her. However, if you abuse me or my staff, any respect I did have for you as a human being goes out the window.

By this point, my customers, all of whom were my regulars, were watching the interaction. I could see that some were about ready to intervene. I just held up a hand, motioning that I had this.

Me: “Okay, just so we’re clear. You come into a small coffee shop and order fifteen coffees off the bat without calling ahead so we can minimise your time waiting. We inform you of the wait time, and you accept that. Then, you come up here, swear at me, and shove a list in my face, which, by all means, should warrant me refusing service to you, and then, even after I give you a discount, you still demand a bigger discount? Is that right?”

By this point, I’d removed the 5% discount (about $2.50) and replaced it with a $1-off discount on one of the coffees.

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait twenty minutes for coffee! I’m not going to pay for cold coffee that I expect to be hot!”

Me: “All right, then. Now, you have two choices. Either you can pay the total, which is [total], or you can leave all the coffees here, leave, and not return to my store. The choice is yours.”

She ended up paying for the coffees and leaving, but not before requesting a receipt, which we email to customers, so she put her email into our system. I had flagged it as a “DO NOT SERVE – BANNED” account before she’d left the shop. I also gave her our business card, in case she wanted to file a complaint (which she never did).

It was a fun day!

Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 20
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 19
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 18
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 17
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 16

I’m waiting in a medical office that does diagnostic testing. It’s a Saturday, so they only have minimal staff (only the people running the tests), and due to the ongoing health situation, only a limited number of people are allowed in the socially distanced waiting room. The way it should work is as one person walks outside, and then another walks in from the line, takes a number, and sits in the now empty chair.

Inevitably, a person walks in and stands at the empty reception desk. They stare at the numbers and then stare at the large white sign with neon orange and green arrows pointing at the numbers, which says, “PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER AND TAKE A SEAT.”

They turn around and stare at the seat. Then they stare back at the numbers. Then they turn to the waiting area and ask:

Patient: “Do I take a number?”

This happens every single time I’m here.

I had issues with [Phone Provider] after moving house which culminated in replacing much of our ten-year-old home equipment with upgraded versions. The issue was escalated to a case manager who provided close to $1,000 in credits once resolved.

Once the bill is issued, I try to view it to work out whether I need to pay anything this month, but I can’t see it on the app or a browser.

I contact tech support and they have me do the usual troubleshooting: uninstall the app and reinstall it. (That doesn’t explain the browser issues, but okay.) After several different steps, they escalate it to their IT team.

After ten days and still no action, the person I dealt with suggests raising a complaint to have a case manager assigned — it worked last time? — so we do.

The case manager is pleasant enough and contacts me several times over a period of weeks, each time to let me know there isn’t an update but that he will follow up with the tech team.

Twenty-five days in, the case manager calls me and tries the same troubleshooting steps we did on day one. (I’ve been doing this regularly just to check.)

I mention that we’ve uninstalled the app a couple of times already and ask how to do another step on my phone. (It turns out it’s a PC step, not meant for phone troubleshooting.)

Case Manager: “You’re smart; you figure it out.”

After several rounds of him giving a similar attitude, I reluctantly ask for his manager.

Case Manager: “You can call the ombudsman. I will not connect you with a supervisor.”

Me: “Can I have the number for the ombudsman, then?”

Case Manager: “You’re smart; figure it out.”

So I did.

Lodging a complaint with the ombudsman took less than five minutes, and they assured me someone would call soon.

A day later, someone did. They apologised for the experience and asked me to try logging in online and tell them if I could see my services. I explained that I could see my services, and it was only when I tried to view my bill that the services disappeared.

The employee immediately figured out the issue and checked my profile to see that my account had been linked to another account with no services or billing and all online services were showing me the other account, which is why I couldn’t see my bill. She showed me how to change the account and I could again see my bill!

From beginning to end, this person listened to my issue, confirmed what had been tried, and walked me through trying other steps. The entire call lasted less than twenty minutes, and after twenty-six days, the issue was resolved by a non-tech person — meaning this could have been resolved on day one if the original person had taken a little more time to understand the issue.

She finished up by saying they’d go back and listen to the call from the day prior, and she applied another $200 credit to my bill!

They have security at one of the local shopping centres in the morning, I presume to keep people from using the lot as a park-n-ride.

As I’m walking back from the store, I see a woman who has parked in the “for parents with strollers” space. She gets out of her car, unfolds her stroller, and walks toward the store. A female security guard who is of Pacific-Islander descent approaches her.

Security Guard: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed to park there. You don’t have a baby.”

Customer: “I have a stroller. It says, ‘For parents with strollers!’”

Security Guard: “It’s for parents with children in strollers.”

Customer: “It says nothing about children! It says strollers!“

Security Guard: “I have the towing company on speed dial. And there’s a space right there—” *points* “—which is literally right next to that one. You can move your car. I’ll even stand here and hold the spot for you while you do. Or you can come out from shopping and have to call a cab.”

Customer: “What difference does one space make?”

Security Guard: “That…” *claps* “…is…” *claps* “…my…” *claps* “…point! Now you can move it or…” *claps* “…you…” *claps* “…can…” *claps* “…get…” *claps* “…towed.”

She moves her car. I am by now driving past with my window rolled down lest I miss anything else.

Security Guard: “Thank you.”

Customer: *Walking away* “F****** Moana.”