23 Times Customers Said “Screw The Environment!”

| Right | June 5, 2020

Dear readers,

Today is World Environment Day! We only have one planet, so we need to do our best to take care of it. Recycle your plastic, volunteer for a clean-up, or just spread the news about climate change so that everyone is better informed!

After you’ve done that, take the time out to read these 23 stories from our archives about people who just want to watch the world burn…

Espresso Yourself Can Cause A Latte Problems – They’re the reason we’re running out of fresh water.

An Inconvenient Car Boot – They’re saving the trees! Just not all of them.

Must Hate Watching Animal Planet – We’re pretty sure the planet feels the same way about you, dude.

Build Up Of Hot Air – The whole planet needs some better ventilation!

Ed Begley Jr. Starts To Cut Back – When the environment is trashed and you can’t breathe, take solace in your bank account balance!

Environ-mental – We have some hang-ups about how they tackle caring for the environment.

Saving The Earth, 7 MPG At A Time – Hypocrisy smells like petroleum.

Fair Trade Waylaid – They are sooo not ready for equality.

Mind Over Biodegradable Matter – The plastic cup of self-righteousness.

Out Of This World Prices – I’ll save the environment as long as it’s cheap!

The Bear-est Signs Of Intelligence – So that’s where they’ve all been going!

Waste Not, Bag Not – The environment versus her principles.

Bagging On The Bags – Even if the solution is literally sitting on their (bur)lap they won’t take it.

Has Been Given “Alternative Facts” About Climate Change – Must try harder.

Got Some Bones To Pick With Your Request – We have a few bones to pick with this imagery.

An Environmental Mess – Not saving the environment, one bag at a time.

Realizing Their Baggage About Baggage Is Not Really Baggage At All – You can give them enviro-friendly bags for free and they’re STILL not happy!

Maybe Allowed You To BREATHE, For One? – “The environment?! What has the environment ever done for me?!” – let us count!

Put A Lid On It! – The moment it becomes inconvenient you can scree the environment!

Bagfuls Of Drama – If you want to ‘not’ save the environment, the alternative is worse!

Not A Planet You Want To Piss Off – See above, about three stories!

Talking Trash About Trash – If you always leave the environment to someone else, it gets left to no one.

Obamacaring For The Environment – Climate Change deniers, what a pleasant bunch!

And finally, a bonus story about a customer who does care for the environment, and really wants everyone to know about it:

It’s Corny But It’s True – We don’t think she gets how any of this works.

 

We hope you enjoyed this collection of stories! Know any that we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to submit your own story? Do it here!

Stay safe, everyone!


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