(I’m working at a checkout and processing a home delivery. These usually take a long time to put through, as they are usually quite large orders and require me to sort the bags, enter a lot of information into the system, and place special stickers onto each bag before loading them into a trolley, all by myself. As such, it’s common practice to put a closed sign up at the end of the register so that customers know to go to a different register, instead of waiting the ten to fifteen minutes it can take to be served. As I’m still only halfway through the home delivery order, a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Are you open?”

Me: “Yes, but this is a home delivery, so I’ll be a while. You’re better off going through a different register.”

Customer: “So you’re open?”

Me: “Yes, but I’ll be a while.”

Customer: “I’ll come through here, then.”

(She begins unloading her stuff onto my belt, behind the current order. As she does, she takes my closed sign down.)

Me: “I really recommend going to a different register. You’ll be waiting a long time.”

Customer: “I’ll come through here.”

Me: “Okay.”

(As I continued processing the home delivery, the customer kept asking me questions about her groceries. I kept telling her that I was busy helping my current customer with the home delivery but tried and helped her as much as I could. Eventually, she asked me to call a manager to help her, which I informed her I could not do right then as I’d need to leave my register to do that and I was still helping a customer with a large order. Over the next few minutes, she kept complaining about how long it was taking and asking why I’d not called anyone to help her yet. Finally, I gave in and walked over to a microphone to call someone, but as I did, she decided she’d had enough and walked away, leaving all her groceries on my belt. I returned to my register and continued processing the home delivery. Of course, thanks to the customer taking down my closed sign, I now had a queue of customers, all very angry at how long I was taking. Eventually, I finished the home delivery, got rid of the missing customer’s groceries, and then dealt with a couple of angry customers, all fed up with how long I took. So, thanks, random customer, you really made my day.)

(I have just finished serving a customer whom I think is acting a little odd. I turn to watch her leave. As she turns the corner out of sight, I just think that maybe I had her wrong. I am still looking at the corner she turned when I see her coming back down another aisle. She seems to be trying to look over fixtures at another of our counters and keeps checking over her shoulder. I make a beeline for her but am still on the opposite side of a table from her.)

Me: *loud and cheerful* “Is there anything else I can do for you today? You look like you are looking for something.” *starts making my way around the table to her*

Woman: *turns to me with deer in the headlights eyes, saying frantically* “OH! It was there; I didn’t touch it!”

Me: “What was there?”

Woman: *still frantic* “I swear it was here; I just found it.”

Me: “What did you find?”

Woman: *even more frantic* “I never put it here; I just saw it!” *turns and pretty much bolts away*

(Her reaction has made me a little fearful about what I might find. There are three levels to the unit she was standing at. The lighting is not great, but bending down I see a small black rectangular item sitting amidst some very dark stock on the second level. There was no way for the lady to have seen it unless she already knew it was there. I pull it out to find it is a purse, and I immediately carry it to my counter and page for the owner. I don’t get an answer, so I take it over to the second counter to have it placed in the office for safekeeping. A coworker sees me with it.)

Coworker: “WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?”

Me: “It was on the display; I noticed a customer acting weird.”

Coworker: “Was it the customer you just served?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Coworker: “She was second in line and walked off, right before my customer noticed her purse was missing off the counter. I went after her and stopped her right by the display to ask if she had seen the purse, which she denied. We then watched her go around your counter, get served by you, and then leave. How did you find the purse?”

Me: “I noticed after she left, she pretty much snuck back, and it looked like she was trying to keep an eye on your counter at the same time. I went after her to see what she was up to.”

(The first customer had left her phone number and was very glad to have her purse back intact.)

My dad had a role as an extra for a TV show about the goings-on in the backrooms of parliament.

He was playing a driver for one government minister, and they were filming in and around Parliament House.

Waiting outside the main entrance, dressed the part, and in an official-looking vehicle, my dad waited for the scene to start shooting.

It turns out the delay was the current leader of the opposition coming out of parliament.  

Seeing the car my dad was in, he climbed in the back and directed my dad to take him to the hotel bar where the party members were known to stay when parliament was sitting.

The leader’s staffers and production staff for the TV show all bustled around, trying to get the leader out of the back of the car.

My dad let him know about the filming but told me that he was very tempted to take off and see how far he could get before the police tracked him down.

(The supermarket I work in has recently had a fire in the roof which has left us to power the store using only the backup generator. The technicians are currently trying to fix the problem when one of them cuts all power to the tills. As a result, not only can we not scan ANYTHING, but since it’s all electronic we cannot process ANY payment as the drawers will not open. Many people are waiting patiently for it to be fixed while others have decided to leave their groceries and either come back later or go to another store. We have someone standing at the entrance advising customers of the problem as they come in. We are also handing out cups of water and cookies and cake to those who have chosen to wait, while others are returning cold products to the fridge and freezers. A woman in her late 20s comes to the front with a product and proceeds to barge past the 80 or so other customers who are waiting with their trollies, including an elderly man who is sitting on a chair at the end of my counter as he was getting a little dizzy.)

Customer: “What the h***? Why is everyone just standing around?”

Coworker: “Sorry, miss, all our registers are currently down and we can’t scan anything.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I only want this one thing. Can you just put it through for me?”

Coworker: “No, sorry. We have no way of scanning it and, as all the registers need power, we can’t even process a payment.”

Customer: “But I’ve only got one thing and I’m paying by card.”

Coworker: “Like I said, the power is out. We can’t scan anything, let alone process a payment. You’re more than welcome to leave it here and come back in about half an hour when everything should be back up, or there are other stores in the mall that sell the same product.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for this; I’m in a massive hurry. I just need this one thing. Why won’t you help me? You’re all just lazy. I’m going to [Competitor down the mall].”

(She throws her item at my coworker and storms out, muttering about bad service and only having one thing.)

Elderly Man: *to my coworker and me* “Is she serious? What doesn’t she understand about you having no power? I may not understand technology, but I know all this stuff runs on electricity.”

Me: “I really don’t know how else he could have told her.”

(Five minutes later, the power was back up. The elderly man was out about one minute later but came back to tell me the young lady was still standing in line at [Competitor], ranting about how incompetent we were.)

(I’m at the checkout of a bookstore. A teenage girl and her mum are buying some Christmas presents when a security alarm attached to the register goes off.)

Staff: “All good — I know you’ve paid for everything. Let’s just check the security tags on the items you’ve bought.”

(The staff rechecks all items, and all are fine, but the alarm goes off again.)

Staff: *still being super nice* “I can also fix the security tag on the other items, so this doesn’t happen all day.”

Mum: “Thanks, that would be great.”

(The mum and daughter go through their shopping, and it’s all looking good. I then notice the daughter starting to look uncomfortable.)

Staff: *quietly* “Did you buy something at the chemist?”

(The daughter opens her handbag and slowly places a large box of condoms on the counter. The staff member deactivates the security tag. The mum gives the daughter a stern look worthy of legend and they both leave the store slowly and quietly.)

Staff: *loudly* “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”