(While working as one of the front end managers, I am called over to a register by one of our cashiers in need of assistance with a difficult customer.)

Me: “Hello, I’m one of the managers. How can I help you, miss?” 

Customer: “Yes! She refused to swipe my debit card!” *pointing to our terrified cashier*

Me: “Miss, we have the PIN pad here for you to swipe your form of payment, select a cashback option or digital coupon—”

Customer: “Fine! I spend plenty of money here; she could at least swipe my card!” 

(The customer swipes her card and stares at me through large sunglasses indoors while sipping expensive coffee. After about a minute of nothing happening, I spin the PIN pad around to see the PIN spot blank.)

Me: “It’s asking for your debit PIN, if you can put it in here…”

Customer: “Haha, oh! What, she can’t do that, either?!” 

Me: “Depends. Do you normally give out your bank information and PIN to strangers?” 

(The annoyed customer behind her burst out laughing. She slammed in her four-digit PIN, grabbed her groceries, and left.)

(The clothing store I work in encourages its employees to ask customers if they would like to open a store credit card. We require a government-issued photo ID, which the customer must have on hand at the time of applying for the credit card.)

Me: *finishes ringing up the customer’s items* “Thank you, sir. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Don’t you have any coupons?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. However, if you would like to apply for a [Store] card, you would receive [% discount] on your purchases, as well as earn points towards [perks]. We also have special sales days specifically for cardholders! 

Customer: “Sounds good! Let’s do it.”

Me: “Wonderful! I’ll just need to see a photo ID, please.”

Customer: “Oh. I don’t have that on me. And I don’t show it to strangers, either. That’s how you get your identity stolen! I memorized all the information, though. You can enter it in that way, right?” *quickly rattles off info*

Me: *internal red flags going up* “Um… Sorry, sir. I can’t process the application without a photo ID. But if you’d like to open a [Store] card in the future, just bring in your driver’s license and any employee in the store can help you. 

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “So, your total today is [total].”

Customer: “I didn’t bring my wallet with me, but I have my credit card numbers memorized. Go ahead and manually enter them in.” 

(The customer quickly recites a long string of numbers, including the three-digit code found on the back of most credit cards, and the expiration date.)

Me: *more red flags going off* “I’m so sorry, sir. I’m afraid I’m not allowed to manually enter the numbers; I’ll need to swipe the actual credit card.” 

Customer: “But I didn’t bring it. My wallet is at home.”

Me: *wants him to leave without an altercation* “All right, well, I can take your name down and put these items on hold for you until closing tomorrow. Bring your wallet in with your photo ID and your credit card, and I’ll make sure you get the same sales.” 

Customer: “Okay!” *gives me his name and wanders away*

(I informed my manager of the incident, in case he tried this with any of the cashiers in the other departments. He never did return to purchase his items.)

It’s around 9:30 pm and I’m just heading home after a long day, but I stop at the supermarket to get a few essentials. I notice diet [Soda] is on special, so I grab a couple of bottles, as well. Admittedly, I’m a bit spaced out and not particularly chatty with the cashier.

Cashier:
“Are you going to drink the [Soda]?” 

Me:
“Yes?”

Cashier:
“Oh, ’cause I use it for a different purpose.”

She then lets out a weird giggle. I’m not really sure where she’s going with this, so I just kind of nod and there’s an awkward silence while she rings up the rest of my items. 

Cashier:
“I use it to clean my toilets! They’re porcelain, so it gets them all clean.” 

Me:
“Um… okay.” 

Cashier:
“Just think: if it cleans your toilets, what must it do to your insides?! It can’t be good for you!” 

I’ve paid and I have all my groceries bagged up, so I pick them up.

Me:
“Well, there are worse things to put in your body.”

Cashier:
“Oh, um, yes. But it’s good for your toilets!”

I walked out. I get that maybe she was trying to be funny or friendly, and yes, diet [Soda] isn’t healthy. But it was a very weird way to go about it, not reading social cues, and I don’t need judgement when buying what I want as an adult.

It is February 29th, and I am working the register. An older customer is paying by check, and has dated it March 1st.

Me:
“Excuse me, sir, you’ve dated this check incorrectly. Today’s date is February 29th.”

Customer:
“What the h*** are you on about? It’s March 1st!”

Me:
*Laughing* “Oh, I know, sir! But this is a leap year, so we get the extra day in February. I almost forgot myself!”

Customer:
“A leap what?! What the h*** are you on about!?”

Me:
“This year is a leap year, which means we have an extra day.”

Customer:
“Son, I am old enough to be your grandfather, and I ain’t ever heard of no stupid leap year! Is this one of those d*** millennial things? You lazy f***ers need an extra day to get your s*** done?!”

Me:
*Momentarily shocked* “Uh… no, sir. It’s just that the Earth rotates around the sun a tiny bit slower than 365 days, so every four years we need to tack on an extra day to correct it. It’s not a ‘millennial’ thing; it’s been happening for a couple of hundred years, I believe.”

The customer’s wife comes up, asking what the holdup is.

Customer:
“This d*** lazy kid and their generation made up some extra day because they couldn’t get their s*** together! In my day, we had a calendar and we stuck to it!”

Customer’s Wife:
“Honey, in your day, you were high on acid and you didn’t even know what day it was, you stupid hippie. Now pay the d*** man and get your stupid a** into the car.”

The customer’s wife shoots me a sympathetic look and then wanders off. The customer makes a show and dance about rewriting the check with the correct date and dramatically hands it over to me, mumbling.

Customer:
“D*** millennials, slowing down the Earth…”

A middle-aged business-looking man walks up to my till, huffing slightly for no particular reason.

Customer: “Do you give cashback?”

Me: “Yes, no problem!”

I ring up the items that he has placed on the counter. I get a little flustered as I haven’t worked there for long and one of the barcodes has to be entered manually, and I forget about his inquiry about cashback.

Me: “That will be £8.95, please.”

He hands over a £10 note and I pass him back his change.

Customer: “Excuse me? Where is the cashback that I asked for?”

Me: “Uh, you paid with cash…”

Customer: “So? I want that money!”

Me: “So, basically, what you’re asking me to do is just give you money out of the till?”

He walked off, muttering under his breath.

Related:
Cash Back Attack, Part 9
Cash Back Attack, Part 8
Cash Back Attack, Part 7

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