(I work at a popular craft store. Our coupon policy states that customers are limited to one coupon per day and cannot combine offers. This week, we have two coupons out.)

Customer: “I’d like to use both of these coupons in my transaction.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can only use one coupon today.”

Customer: “How come? I don’t understand.”

Me: “It is company policy. Customers are limited to one coupon per day.”

Customer: “Well, can I do two separate transactions?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Unfortunately, you can only use one coupon per day. See, it says right here on the coupon.”

(I read her the coupon policy, which clearly states that customers are limited to one coupon per day.)

Customer: “I still don’t understand. Why can’t I use both of my coupons? Other stores do it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That’s company policy. I can’t.”

Customer: “What if I came back later in the day? You wouldn’t know the difference.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be here until we close.”

Customer: “I don’t understand! Why can’t you do it?!”

Me: “Because, ma’am, I don’t want to lose my job!”

Customer: *complete tone change* “Oh. That makes sense.”

(After that, she didn’t say anything anymore.)

(I live in the US, but my dad lives in the UK. Even though we’re usually an ocean apart, we’re still very close, and he does his best to visit. On one trip, he comes with me to the store. We’re checking out, and he’s helping me unload the cart.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything all right?”

Dad: “Yes, thank you!”

Cashier: “Oh, I love your accent! Where are you from?”

Dad: “Oh, I’m visiting her from the United Kingdom.”

Cashier: “Wow! That’s over by Canada, right?”

Dad: “No? It’s over in Europe.”

Cashier: “Oh, well. I was never good with maps. How long have you been a couple?”

(I try not to lose it at this point. My dad gives me a look, making it harder not to laugh.)

Dad: “That’s actually my daughter.”

(At least the cashier stopped asking questions after that.)

(I’m ringing a woman out and while doing so I ask her if she’d like to sign up for our email coupons. She says yes and I hand her a form.)

Customer: “Address, right?”

Me: “Email address, yes, ma’am. And your total is [total].”

(She nods and hands me a card, which I proceed to swipe. Our machines are very old and sometimes won’t read a perfectly good card and it doesn’t take hers, so I enter it manually. Right after typing in the number, the screen gives me a “Not valid” message. I take a closer look at the card.)

Me: “Uh… ma’am, did you mean to hand me this card?”

Customer: *finished with her writing, looks up* “Yes. Why, is something wrong?”

Me: “This is a [Department Store] rewards card.”

Customer: *now flustered and blushing* “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry!”

(She hands me her correct card. I scan it and it goes through just fine. I hand her the receipt and pick up the email form, checking it over very quickly.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I need you to redo this.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “This is your street address, not your email address.”

(The store I work in eliminated baggers about eight years ago. Since then, the cashiers put the customer’s items into the bags, and then customers put them into their cart on their own. We’ll help only if the customer is older or unable to load the bags on their own.  Our store is also in the middle of a major remodel. This is a healthy customer in her mid-forties.)

Me: “Do you have any coupons or bottle slips?”

Customer: “No. So, what are they actually doing with all this construction?”

Me: “Well, they just finished expanding the pharmacy and moving the drive-thru around to the front of the store. And now, they’re redoing the floors and moving things around to their new locations.”

(By this time she’s paid and is just standing by her cart.)

Customer: “I was told last time I was in that they had finished the pharmacy, and now you’re telling me that they’re just now finishing it? Get your story straight. And I guess that now we have to load our own bags?”

(She grabs her two bags, leaving a fifteen-pound bag of dog food to be loaded. I ignore her comment, since it has literally been years since we’ve had baggers, and I know that it will make her angry if I point that out.)

Customer: “Hello? Did you hear me? Are you making me put my own things in the cart now?”

(She just stood there, expecting me to help her with what she’d already gotten in and out of her cart once. I loaded the dog food simply to keep the peace. Luckily, my coworkers thought she was crazy, too, when I told them the story later!)

(I drop my girlfriend off for an appointment with the promise to pick her up in an hour or so, and I head to a crafts store for some fabric. That store has none, so, checking my watch, I head further afield to a fabric store. I have just grabbed a bolt of the fabric and taken it to the cutting counter when an older woman customer gets there, literally a second before me, with two bolts in her shopping cart. I find this annoying because it would have taken the clerk only a minute to cut my fabric, and I am feeling the time pinch. Mea culpa — I should have asked to go first, as it turns out.)

Customer: *putting one bolt on the counter* “I’d like to see half a yard of this fabric.”

Me: *thinking to myself* “She wants to see half a yard? She needs a clerk to show her what half a yard looks like?”

(The clerk rolls out half a yard, and the two of them discuss it for a couple of minutes, including price and alternatives. The woman decides not to get any.)

Customer: “I’m also looking for some oilcloth, but this–” *gestures to the other bolt she brought to the counter* “–is all I could find.”

Clerk: “No, we don’t have oilcloth. We haven’t had that for many years. We do have fabric-backed vinyl…”

Customer: “No, I need it in colors.”

Clerk: “Yes, we have it in colors on the rack back there.”

Customer: “Well, will this do, instead? Is it waterproof?”

Clerk: “No, it isn’t.”

(FINALLY, the woman wanders away and I get my half a yard of fabric cut. I then head back to notions and, after searching the racks for a while, find an item that probably will do for my other needs. I’m now getting even more pressed for time, so I head right up to the checkout counter, only to find the same woman there!)

Customer: “If I use this [one-item] 20% discount coupon, will it apply to this [item A]?”

Teller: “Let’s see.” *scans her items and observes the monitor* “No, it always discounts the most expensive item, so it will apply to this [item B].”

Customer: “Well, that’s not what I want. I’ll buy [item B] next week.”

Teller: *un-scans [item B], looks at the monitor, and then studies the coupon* “Well, that didn’t work. This coupon excludes [items like [item B]].”

(The woman spends the next couple of minutes discussing with the teller various coupons and upcoming sales, and she finally concludes that she could get [item B] at a discount next week. The teller then un-scans [item B] and rescans [item A].)

(I’m watching the clock, fuming, and rolling my eyes, but holding my peace. I’m at a distance from the woman, so she is oblivious to my discomfiture, but the teller is starting to realize that there are two people behind ME also waiting to be checked out while this woman has been shilly-shallying.)

Teller: *making store-wide announcement* “Calling for assistance at the front registers.”

(A man walked up and started up a second register. He quickly checked me out as the first teller finished with the woman, who bumped me with her cart — albeit, she apologized for that — as she left. All in all, this ONE woman wasted ten to fifteen minutes of my time FOR NO REASON when I was feeling pressed for time. Had I not promised to pick up my girlfriend, I would have been only mildly annoyed by the delay and might have resorted to browsing the store till this woman had left. I only held my peace because I was mentally figuring out the best route, calculating the driving time, and still figuring that I could pick up my girlfriend without her having to wait long, which, in fact, I did. I figure the woman was lonely and wanted to visit with people, which I don’t object to, but she should be sensitive to OTHER people’s needs, as well!)