This Conversation Is Going Down The Drain
(I am working with a customer to find a drain that will fit his custom-made sink. It’s going slowly, but smoothly enough.)
Me: “Okay, I have found one that will work. What finish will you need it in?”
Customer: “One that will match my faucet.”
Me: “Okay, what color is your faucet?”
Customer: “Brown-ish.”
Me: “Um, okay. So… oil-rubbed bronze? A dark brown?”
Customer: “No… Like a light brown.”
Me: “Do you know the brand? That might help narrow this down so that we get a matching drain for you.”
Customer: “Um… I don’t know. I think it starts with a ‘D’ or something.”
(I manage to narrow down the brands and find the color.)
Me: “Well, I will have to order the drain in that color, but I am positive this is the right one. It should be here in the next two to four days. Will that be all right?”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “What does what mean?”
Customer: “Order.”
Me: “Well, sometimes we don’t have the right thing in stock. We have to reach out to the manufacture and have them send one to us.”
Customer: “So, you don’t make these things?”
Me: “No, sir. Each brand is in charge of making their products. We are in charge of selling them.”
Customer: “Well, how lazy! You should make them!”
Me: “We are not a brand. We are a home improvement store. If we made all the brands, they would just be one big brand.”
Customer: “That does not even make sense! All these things are made by some big corporation!”
Me: “I can assure you that is not the case. This brand is made in Indiana, this one in California, several are made overseas in Japan or China, and I have a few that are made in Mexico. And that is just in faucets.”
Customer: “Whatever. Order that part, since you don’t want to make me one.”
Me: “Okay, we can do that! I will need at least a half payment down. That would be $25. A ten dollar handling charge will be added when the part comes in.”
Customer: “You don’t need money down! Just order it!”
Me: “I am afraid I cannot do that. Money is put down to ensure that the ordered part will be fully purchased after it comes in.”
Customer: “What if I decide I don’t want it?”
Me: “Then you pay the handling free, but the rest of the money will be refunded.”
Customer: “You would keep part of my money?”
Me: “The item costs money to be ordered; therefore, the handling fee money stays with the store. It’s like a shipping fee when you order something online.”
Customer: “That is such a lie! Why are you trying to take my money?”
Me: “I can promise no one is trying to take your money. All you have to do is put half down, and then pick up the item when it comes in, with the other half of the money.”
Customer: “And I would get the handling free back?”
Me: “No. That is part of the total price of the item.”
Customer: “I want a manager!”
(My manager comes over after a minute or two of awkward silence.)
Manager: “Is there a problem?”
Customer: “Yes, this lady is trying to swindle me! She refused to make me a drain, lied to me about where this stuff is made, and is now trying to swindle me with fees!”
Manager: “So, what you are really saying is that she found what you needed, but we are out of stock, and you have to order this part with a standard handling fee?”
Customer: “Yes! Just go to the back and make me a drain!”
Manager: “I am sure it’s been explained to you that each brand makes its own parts? Each brand is unique with coloring, style, and manufacturing process.” *customer tightly nods* “I cannot go to the back and magically make one out of a pallet. Now, would you like to order the part you need, or do I have to escort you out for accusing my employee of theft?”
(The customer threw down $25 dollars and stormed out. We ordered the part, but since the customer stormed out, we never got into contact information. Two weeks later:)
Customer: “WHERE IS MY DRAIN?”
Manager: *who saw him come in* “We ordered it, but since you left without giving us any contact information, we had no way of informing you. If you would like to pay the remaining balance, I will happily send my associate to get it from the back.”
Customer: “This is such terrible customer service. You just didn’t want to call me!”
Manager: “I am supposed to know how to call you when you left no name, number, or any sort of identification to get a hold of you?”
Customer: “Yes!”
