(My head chef and kitchen manager is helping serve customers in line at the bistro, as it is very busy and we weren’t expecting it to be.)
Chef: “Here we are. Sorry about the wait, madam; we’ve had quite a night.”
Customer: “DO I LOOK LIKE A MADAM TO YOU? DO YOU THINK I RUN A BROTHEL?!”
(Safe to say, that topped off the night.)
(I work in a UK clothing store that sells fairly expensive but good-quality clothing, and I recently encountered one of the weirdest days. A shopper, in her thirties I’d say, with a walking stick, comes up to me at the service desk.)
Shopper: “I’m really sorry to bother you but I need some help. There’s a lady in the store who has been following me around and telling me to leave now. I’ve not done anything wrong, I hope.”
Me: “Is she a member of staff?”
Shopper: “No, she’s not wearing your uniforms or name tags, and she’s got a coat on and seems to be shopping. She just keeps following me, and it’s kind of scaring me now.”
(I see a lady coming straight for the desk, pointing at the woman I’m talking to.)
Rude Lady: “You! You! I told you to leave!”
Shopper: “That’s her. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.”
Rude Lady: “You!” *pointing at me now* “Get this out of the store!”
Me: “Okay, what is the problem? Has something happened?”
Rude Lady: “Are you blind?! Have you seen her? It’s revolting!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t see the problem. She looks perfectly fine to me.”
Rude Lady: “You are stupid. This is an expensive shop, yes? For beautiful people. Fat cripples don’t belong in here.”
(The first shopper looks like she’s going to cry. I honestly think she looks better than this rude woman. She does weigh more than this rude woman, but that’s no indicator of beauty or lack of.)
Me: “We welcome all shoppers, providing they have good manners and behave well in the store. I’m not throwing people out just because you don’t like the look of them.”
Rude Lady: “Right, well, your manager will be hearing of this. I’m sure once I say you’ve let disgusting, fat tramps in the store and lost all my business in the process, you’ll be looking for another job.” *turns to the original shopper* “And you! I’d better never see you again in any of my stores. You chose to be fat, so you chose to look revolting.”
(The rude lady stormed out, and I spent the next ten minutes reassuring the poor shopper that not only would she not be thrown out of the store, but that the rude lady was now banned from here and we’d have the video footage to back up why.)
(I am the manager on duty and working by myself in a video rental store when a customer comes in in the early morning. Immediately I notice the blanketed bundle she is cradling like a baby.)
Customer: *distraught* “I rented a couple of movies and one of them was so disturbing, I couldn’t watch it! I wrapped both up and put them in your dropbox.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, what can I do for you?”
(I can hear the rising panic in her voice and it’s freaking me out a little.)
Customer: “I’m just so disturbed; it was awful! Could I get a refund?”
Me: “Let me look into your account and see what I can do.”
(I see that her bundle is, in fact, a plastic statue of the Virgin Mary. I bring up her account and figure out the disturbing movie was the remake of “The Amityville Horror.” It spooked me, too, but nowhere near as badly as the customer. I think it will be best to do as she asks, since she is so agitated and in turn making me nervous.)
Me: “Okay, if you like I can give you a refund, or I can put credit on your account for a free rental later.”
Customer: “I’ll take the credit. But please warn people about that movie!”
Me: “I know, it was a very scary movie.” *makes the adjustment to her account* “You’re all set. I even credited both movies for your trouble.”
Customer: *looking a little relieved but still clutching her Mary statue tightly* “Thank you, and God bless!”
(It was certainly one of the odder encounters I’ve had!)
(I’m a manager at an auto parts store. This is a rather common discussion.)
Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”
Customer: “I need parts for my truck.”
Me: “Okay, what year and model is your truck?”
Customer: “Black.”
Me: “Sir, I need information about your truck like the year, make, and model before I can help.”
Customer: “Well, how should I know?”
Me: “Is your truck outside?”
Customer: “No, I need parts for it!”
(I am the owner of a restaurant. It is an Italian restaurant that I named after my grandfather who taught me the restaurant business. Before the official opening, I invite several friends and family members to sample the food and evaluate service. About two weeks after the official opening a customer comes in with two other people.)
Customer: *to the server* “Hi. We were supposed to be here last week but could not make it. The owner gave me a coupon for a free meal for all of us because we were unable to attend the pre-opening.”
Server: “I am not sure that we are taking coupons.”
Customer: “I have a card signed by the owner, and he said to present it to you when I came in. I want my free meal.”
Server: “Let me get the manager and see what he says.”
Me: “Can I help you, sir?”
Customer: “The owner gave me this card saying we can get a free meal because I missed the opening. He signed it.”
Me: “May I see the card? I see the owner signed it. I am afraid I cannot accept this.”
Customer: “What do you mean, you can’t accept it? The owner signed it, and you work for the owner, so you must accept it.”
Me: “When did he give you this coupon?”
Customer: “Last week. I was at his house, and he gave it to me.”
Me: “So, you saw Joe [Surname] last week at his house. How did he look?”
Customer: “He looked fine. We want our meal now.”
Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot accept this, and I want you and your friends to leave now.”
Customer: *quite angry* “You have no right to throw me out. We want our meal. Do I have to call Joe?”
Me: “Please call him. I would love to talk with him since he died over fifty years ago and I am the owner.”
(The customer left.)
