(On my first day working at a well-known department store, I am put on the floor with another coworker for training. It is a very slow day and my coworker is telling me about how the managers will do anything to make their customers happy, even if it means breaking a policy. As we were talking, an older woman comes up to us and glares at us.)

Customer: “I have a return. I am unsatisfied with this purchase and will be contacting the BBB.”

Coworker: “I am sorry to hear that, but I will be happy to assist you.”

(The woman literally takes the bracelet she is wearing off her arm and throws it on the counter. My coworker looks at the bracelet and back at her.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, you just took that bracelet off your arm with no price tag on it, and we don’t sell that brand.”

Customer: “I don’t care. Just do your job and give me my money back.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is no price tag on the bracelet, you obviously have no receipt, and we don’t even sell [Brand], so there is no way you could’ve bought it here. I cannot process this return.”

Customer: “You will do the return. I don’t care if I bought it here or not; just give me my money or I will tell everyone I know that your company is made up of nothing but thieves.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, I cannot accept this return.”

Customer: *screaming at the top of her voice* “Get me your manager now!”

(My coworker sighs and picks up the phone to call my manager on duty. He comes down to the register and my coworker explains the situation. He picks up the bracelet and examines it. Then, to my shock, he goes into the register, finds a bracelet that is similar to the one the woman tried returning, and prints out a slip and hands it to my coworker.)

Manager: “Ring it up under this barcode and process the return. How did you pay for the bracelet, ma’am?”

Customer: *very smugly* “Cash.”

(My coworker processes the return and to my surprise, when it comes to choosing the type of refund, my manager hits the cash option.)

Manager: “Your refund total is $80.95. I am so sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am, and I hope you shop with us again soon.”

Customer: *excitedly* “$80.95? I only paid $15 dollars for it!”

(The customer and my manager left, and I turned to my coworker, who was just as appalled as I was.)

Me: “Did he really just gave her that much money back for an item she didn’t even buy here?”

Coworker: *sighs* “Welcome to [Department Store]!”

(I ended up quitting that day.)

I work at a store that sells appliances.

A customer comes in. As all of our salespeople are busy with other customers, our manager walks over to help him.

This customer comes in often to check if the $400 hood fan he wants has gone on 50% off yet.

After spending almost an hour in our store, he leaves. The manager comes to my desk and tells me that this customer has seen every sales staff member in our store for the past five years asking the same question and never buys. Of course, with our inflating market, the price has gone up over the years and has not gone on sale. This time he was also inquiring about a high-end fridge known for starting at $5000, thinking he could get a deal on it.

Nice try!

(When I get to work, my manager is checking in a German Shepherd Dog. It is newly spring, and all of the double-coated dogs are shedding. Because of this, we are trying to talk all the dog owners into getting the de-shed package, which is a product we all use on our own double-coated dogs. We highly recommend it, as it is a great product and well worth the money. My manager is attempting to explain this to the owner of the GSD, who is very belligerent and just starts saying over and over that she was quoted a certain dollar amount and will not pay more than that. Her hands are tied, so my manager proceeds to sign the dog up for a basic bath and nail trim. My coworker is assigned the dog, and this takes place after the owner has returned for the dog, paid for it, and walked out with it.)

Owner: “I have a complaint to make!”

Me: “Oh? What’s going on?”

Owner: “My dog was just in here, and she’s scratched me up all over my leg!”

(She lifts her leg up to show scratches down it.)

Me: “Did you get the nail grinding?”

Owner: “No, and that’s the other thing: I don’t know what all this stuff is, but she never got any of it! I was told that she’d have a de-shedding treatment, and that her nails would be ground down, and that she would look so good, and no one has delivered on any of these promises!”

(I now recognize her as the “I’m only going to pay X amount!” lady, and the light dawns.)

Me: “Oh… right. Yeah. Well, you didn’t ask for the de-shedding package. You said you weren’t going to pay more than [price].”

(My coworker who worked on the dog has now migrated to the check-in area of the salon.)

Coworker: “Yeah, we offer those things, but you have—“

Owner: “I know it’s extra! I said I wouldn’t pay extra, but that lady told me that she’s not supposed to shed now!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry you’re not happy, but—“

Owner: “No, I’m not happy! I was promised the moon and I got nothing!”

Me: “Ma’am, you were offered [de-shedding package] at check-in, and declined to pay for it. We aren’t—“

Owner: “I’ve never heard that word until just now! I wasn’t offered anything!”

Me: “You declined to pay extra.”

Owner: “Well! I’m not going to pay more than I was quoted.”

Me: “Okay. There’s nothing we can do for you, then.”

Coworker: “I hope you have better luck elsewhere.”

Owner: “I already have! Yes! I have! I just came here because I thought you might have more experience!”

Coworker: “I have six years of experience, but I’m not doing a service that I’m not getting paid for. Good night.”

(We’ve always been really careful about letting people know on the phone that a quote is just a ballpark figure and that we will assess the dog’s coat and overall health and behavior and that the price could go up or down, but now we’re even more cautious and repeat it over and over!)

Me: “Good afternoon, and thank you for calling [Pet Store]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to bring my dog in tomorrow to get grooming done.”

Me: “Sure thing. Let me get you set up. What would you like done?”

Customer: “I want what he got last time.”

Me: “Okay, according to the computer, last time he was in he got a haircut. Did you want the same haircut this time?”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “No, I want what he got last time but no haircut.”

Me: “Okay, so, no haircut. Just a bath, then?”

Customer: *very angry now* “NO. I WANT WHAT I GOT LAST TIME, BUT NO HAIRCUT. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND?”

Me: “Sir, you said you did not want a haircut, but that is what you got last time. If you do not want a haircut, he will just be getting a bath, which I can set you up for in just a minute.”

Customer: *practically screaming at this point* “NO! YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME! NO ONE EVER GETS THIS RIGHT! WHY CAN’T ANYONE IN THAT STORE GET ANYTHING RIGHT? I WANT WHAT I GOT LAST TIME. I DON’T WANT A BATH! I WANT WHAT I GOT LAST TIME.”

Me: *very done at this point* “I apologize. Let me set you up. A special haircut without the haircut for tomorrow.”

Customer: *pleased now* “Yes, that’s what I want.”

Me: “All right, how does four o’clock sound?”

Customer: “Great. I will be there at four o’clock tomorrow!”

Me: “Great. We will see you tomorrow, and you have a wonderful evening!”

Coworker: “Did that guy want a bath for tomorrow?”

Me: “Oh, no, he wants a haircut appointment but no haircut.”

Coworker: “So, a bath?”

Me: “Yes.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pet Store]. How can I help you out today?”

Customer: “Yes, I need directions to your store.”

Me: “Well, I can try to help you, but I am not that familiar with any other town besides my own. Where do you live?”

Customer: “[Small town about five minutes away].”

Me: “Unfortunately, I don’t know that town well enough to give you directions. I can tell you that we are on [Busy Street] and [Small Highway]. If you get to one of those streets and go south, you will be here in about five to ten minutes, depending on traffic.”

Customer: *angrily* “NO! I NEED SPECIFIC DIRECTIONS! I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE! YOU MUST TELL ME HOW TO GET THERE!”

Me: “Sir, as I said, I am sorry, but I am not familiar with your area so I cannot give you specific directions.”

Customer: “THAT IS RIDICULOUS! I NEED DIRECTIONS! YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO GET TO YOUR STORE! TELL ME HOW TO GET THERE!”

Me: “Can I put you on a brief hold and ask around and see if anyone that works here knows your area? Then mayb—“

Customer: “NO! I DO NOT WANT TO BE ON HOLD! JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET THERE NOW!”

Me: “Have you tried Google Maps? That will give you specific directions on how—“

Customer: “I DO NOT WANT TO USE MAPS! I WANT YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO GET THERE! WHY WON’T YOU JUST TELL ME HOW THE F*** TO F****** GET THERE?!”

Me: “Okay, sir, hold on!”

(I pull up Google Maps on my cell phone and type in the address he gave me. I literally read off the directions straight from the page.)

Customer: *happy now* “Now, was that so hard?”

Me: “Can I answer any more questions for you, sir?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you carry [Popular Dog Food]?”

Me: “No, we do not.”

Customer: “WELL, F***! FORGET IT!” *hangs up*

Me: *to coworker* “I’m going on lunch and never coming back.”