Not A Very Mice Thing To Do

, , , , | Right | March 8, 2021

I work at a chain pet store that does not sell live feeder mice, but we do sell pet mice. Two men in their early twenties come in and spend plenty of time in the reptile section. They collect a snake hide from the shelf and then find another employee to catch them two mice “as pets.”

Thankfully, I get to her first.

Me: “Don’t they have snake merchandise in their hands?”

Coworker: “Uh, yeah.”

Me: “And no mice merchandise.”

Coworker: *Pauses* “Right.”

I go up to them.

Me: “Aren’t you the guys who called earlier today to ask if we sell live feeder mice?”

One blinks.

Customer: “Uh, yeah, but I was just wondering, so…”

Me: “So, you know for pet mice you need a cage, right?”

They left, sans mice. Some people just really want to fight the system.

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You Can’t Make Me Change

, , , , , | Right | July 23, 2020

I am the supervisor at a fast food restaurant and my coworker has just gone on break, leaving me on the counter by myself. A man possibly in his late twenties comes and orders an ice cream treat. He hands me $10, and after I ring him up, he asks for extra topping, which costs extra. Before I can counter, he gets angry.

Customer: “Where’s the rest of my change?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I gave you a $20, so you owe me change.”

Me: “You actually gave me a $10.”

Customer: “No, I gave you a $20. It was a beat-up $20 bill.”

I open the drawer and see that the $20 on the top is brand new. I point this out to the customer.

Customer: “Well, I guess you put the $20 under the rest of the bills.”

Me: *Sarcastically* “Yes, I lifted up this whole stack of $20s and put yours under there. Why would I do that?”

Customer: “I don’t know, but you did it!”

He then pulls out a huge wad of $100s.

Customer: “Look at all these bills. Why would I rip you off over $10? I don’t need that money!”

Me: “I don’t know.”

We bicker for a few more minutes, at which point the entire food court of the mall is looking over. I go to the back of the store to call my manager and ask him what to do, and he says to take the customer’s information, and if the drawer is wrong, they’ll let him pick it up the next day. The customer sees me on the phone and begins yelling louder.

Customer: “Who are you calling back there? You were on the phone with someone!”

Me: “I was calling my manager to see if I could help you, but I guess you don’t want that.”

Customer: *Threateningly* “What time do you get off?”

Me: “Why does it matter to you?” 

He ends up giving up and lets me make his ice cream treat. I hand it to him.

Customer: “Doesn’t look like extra candy to me.”

Me: “That costs fifty cents extra.”

He growls and walks away.

Me: “Have a nice day, sir!”

I later heard words of encouragement from the rest of the food court, among them being, “You could have taken him!” And yes, the drawer was correct the next day.

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A Great July 4th Starts On July 3rd

, , , , , | Right | July 4, 2020

It is the fourth of July. I’m stopping to pick up some donuts and I notice a sign on the door stating they are closing at 2:00 pm for the holiday. It is about 10:00 am when I hear this exchange.

Customer: *To the clerk* “You guys get an easy day today, huh?”

Clerk: “Um, sort of.”

Customer: “Well, the sign says you close at 2.”

Clerk: “Yeah, but I’ve been here since 5.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Seriously, man. Do you really think a donut shop is nine-to-five?

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Jinx Hijinks

, , , , , | Right | May 29, 2020

I work in the electronics department of a major retailer. A man comes back with just a few non-electronics items.

Customer: “Can I check out back here, please?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Customer: “Thanks. It’s crazy up front. It’s nice and calm back here.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I know. It’s always busy up there. Back here, it comes and goes.”

Customer: “You’re lucky you’re not up there.”

Me: “For now. It won’t be long until they send me up front.”

Not more than a second later, one of the managers comes around the corner.

Manager: “I’m gonna need one of you guys to go up front and cashier.”

Me: *Laughing* “I’ll go.”

Customer: *Smiling* “I jinxed it. You probably never want to see me again.”

Me: “Ah, it’s all good.”

I finished the transaction with him and headed up front where I spent the next hour and half cashiering.

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Shut Up And Take These Drugs!

, , , , , , | Working | May 18, 2020

I am a customer service manager in a grocery store with an in-store pharmacy. I am working at the customer service center when the courier who delivers our prescription drugs drops the totes on my counter.

Courier: “Here you go.”

I point toward the pharmacy.

Me: “The pharmacy is just around the corner.”

Courier: “You need to take these.”

Me: “No, I don’t. You need to take them to the pharmacy.”

Courier: “YOU NEED TO TAKE THESE!”

Me: “No, I do not. It would be against the law for me to take them.”

Courier: “YOU NEED TO TAKE THESE NOW!”

Me: “I am not authorized to handle narcotics. You need to take them to the pharmacy. It’s just a few more feet that way.”

Again, I point towards the pharmacy.

Courier: “TAKE THEM!”

Me: “NO! Go around the corner!”

Finally, he picked up the totes and headed to the pharmacy. A few minutes later, he walked by my counter and gave me the stink eye. I went over to the pharmacy and told the pharmacist what had happened. Her eyes got very wide, and then she got on the phone immediately to the courier.

The next day, I was on my way in to work when I saw the same courier. I got the stink eye again.

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