My Cat: Sheldon Cooper

, , , , , , | Related | April 11, 2019

(My father and cat both like to sit in the same spot on our couch. One day, I come downstairs to get a glass of water and see my father moving the cat.)

Dad: “Come on, [Cat].”

(He nudges the cat who stands up but doesn’t move. It takes another solid minute to get the cat all the way out of the spot so my dad can sit. Thirty minutes later, I’ve come downstairs again to put my glass away and see the cat in the spot and my father on the loveseat.)

Me: “Hey, Dad…”

Dad: “I got up to get a new book, he jumped back into the spot, and it didn’t seem worth it to move him.”

Me: “So, not only did you and the cat get into a fight over the spot, but the cat won?”

Unfiltered Story #142152

, , , | Unfiltered | March 1, 2019

I was taking orders for a women’s clothing catalog and had a caller indignantly tell me that her friend in California had a catalog from this company and the item she wanted was cheaper in that catalog than in hers. I asked her what the price was in hers and she said $40. I then asked what was the price in her friends catalog. She exclaimed “$39.99!” Trying not to laugh, I asked if she had the catalog code from her friends catalog. She did and I sold her the item for the cheaper price.

When It’s Up, The Tone Of Conversation Is Down

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(At the movie theater where I work, we have a rewards program. It has become cardless, meaning you don’t need the card. We always ask for a guest’s phone number so we can look up their account. On this day, I get a response I wasn’t expecting.)

Me: “Okay, that’s three tickets to [Movie]. Do you have a rewards account with us?”

Guest #1: “Yes, I do, but I don’t have my card with me. Can you look it up by phone number?”

Me: “Yes, I can. Whenever you are ready…”

Guest #1: “Okay, it’s [phone number].”

Me: “Okay, got it up.”

Guest #2: “That’s what I love hearing from a man.”

Me: “…”

Next Year All Cars Will Be Blue

, , , , , | Right | January 14, 2019

(I’m a manager at an auto parts store. This is a rather common discussion.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need parts for my truck.”

Me: “Okay, what year and model is your truck?”

Customer: “Black.”

Me: “Sir, I need information about your truck like the year, make, and model before I can help.”

Customer: “Well, how should I know?”

Me: “Is your truck outside?”

Customer: “No, I need parts for it!”

The Forever Mystery Potatoes

, , , , , , | Right | December 14, 2018

(I work at a regional grocery store’s deli. This particular day, I am asked some… basic… questions about a popular potato salad.)

Customer #1: “Does your deviled egg potato salad have egg in it?”

Me: “Yes, it does.”

(Later that same day:)

Customer #2: “Does your deviled egg potato salad have potatoes in it?”

Me: “Yes?”

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