How Cows Order Coffee
Me: “Good morning, how can I help you?”
Woman: “Yeah, a small coffee with two splendas and extra milk.”
Me: “Okay, that will be $1.49.”
(She pays and I give her the change. I proceed to make the drink. I pressed the “Medium” button for milk and then gave an extra shot. When I gave it to her, she took a sip and made a face as if she had just taken a sip of liquefied dog s**t.)
Me: “What seems to be the problem?”
Woman: “I asked for extra milk! This is too strong.”
Me: “Well, I’ll put some more in for you. No problem.”
Woman: *muttering under her breath* “Idiot kid…”
(I put another “Medium” shot in. This is two mediums and one extra shot for a total of seven milks. She takes another sip, with the same face.)
Woman: “What part of extra milk do you not understand?”
Me: “I understand what extra milk means. I put in about four times the regular amount of milk.”
Woman: “Well, put more!”
(I put in more. I put a “Large” shot of milk (four more). This brings our total to eleven milks, therefore being classified as milk with a little coffee.)
Me: “Here.”
(She takes another sip, and yes. Again, she makes that freaking face.)
Woman: “Look. Extra milk means you put in the regular amount, and then you put in MORE.”
Me: “I know that! That is a SMALL coffee with ELEVEN MILKS!”
Woman: “PUT IN MORE!”
(I put in more another “Medium” shot (three more)).
Me: “Here. The coffee is almost white now.”
(She drinks it again and SPITS IT ALL OVER THE COUNTER.)
Me: “Lady, what’s your problem?”
Woman: “This coffee is cold! I ordered a hot coffee, not a cold coffee! Can you comprehend that?”
Me: “F*** this. Who’s next?”
(My shift leader was laughing in the corner the whole time. She remade this lady’s drink with one large shot of milk and gave it to her. She sipped it…”Ah, now that’s better!”)
(Everyone in line had a pretty good laugh about it.)
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